Never Ending Journey

Over and done

2012-01-29T18:59:00.002-07:00

Alrighty then, I'm back. Whew. Thursday night and Friday morning (prep time) were royal bitches!!! Thursday night was the evacuation process, and that left my body just weak. That is hard on anyone's body, but I'm thinking it is particularly hard on us the older we get. After several hours of, well, evacuation, I was exhausted and I had a bad case of the chills. I was finally able to go to bed around 11:30 and I covered up with all the blankets and snuggled the pups around me for warmth. I was finally able to sleep about 12:30.

Then in the morning, I had to finish the cleansing of my body with several enemas. If I'd been smart I would have warmed them a little, but I didn't think of it, and when I was done, I had a chill once again. I resolved it with a longer than usual, hotter than usual shower. Let me tell you at this age the internal thermostat doesn't work as well as it should, and that's a shame.

The colonscopy was a breeze in comparison, as I knew from past experience. And the prognosis is good. Nothing of concern in the findings! Woooo hooooo! I was advised to have a repeat in 10 years. Yeah, OK, sure. Honestly, at 77, I don't think so. If I have something wrong at that time, I'll just bite the bullet. I don't think I can do this again with 10 years added. Forgeddabouddit!

I've spent the weekend just taking it easy. I slept off and on most of Friday anyway. My nights have been long and slumber-some, and my days lazy. I've done a little bit of house work, but just a minimal amount. I've showered and changed pajamas, but I've been in pj's since about 1:00 on Friday!

Tomorrow is back to work. I'd love to have a week off to recuperate and putz around the house, but that's not a possibility. At least I go with the knowledge that I am in good health. That counts for a lot, doesn't it? Yeppers!

Later, y'all.

Age-based discrimination. Seriously!!!

2012-01-25T19:18:00.001-07:00

OK, let's just look at this .....

I have Medicare and a pretty good tie-in or supplemental policy. I haven't had to fork out any co-pays, except on my medications. Most of them are a $7 co-pay and I have only one regularly used prescription, so that's nothing to speak about.

But here's the thing that has me going right at this moment. It astounds me that Medicare doesn't cover certain things that are very important to most of us as we age. They don't cover eyeglasses. How many people over 65 do you know that don't have to wear eyeglasses? They also don't cover the exam for glasses. Now, to be fair they are covering my eye exams for the problems I'm having with floaters and monitoring the viscous fluid in my eyeballs. It still seems strange that glasses aren't covered.

And hearing aids or hearing exams .... same thing. The large majority of us have hearing loss, but none of that is covered. I could certainly use one. I'm nearly deaf in my left ear. I'm not sure I could wear one, not because of vanity, 'cause I really don't care, but I can't stand something in my ears. Ear buds? Nope, I can't tolerate them for more than a few short minutes. I have to use the kind of "listening devices" that fit outside the ear.

And today was the most ridiculous blow of all. I went to the drugstore to pick up my colonoscopy prep kit (yep, the happy day is Friday). Didn't think much about it until they told me the co-pay was $68 and some change!!!!! WHAT??? The full price was $80-some-odd and obviously the insurance covered around 25% only! Now look, we are told we must have colonscopies at this age, but the prep for it isn't covered fully? Holy cow!

What sense does it make that the things we most need are not covered or minimally covered? It's not that I can not pay the $68, but just that it's ridiculous!! I understand the financial justification of the insurance companies .... since we all need these things, they are saving a ton by not covering them or pushing them into the higher co-pay groups. But still ....

It's old-age discrimination, I tell you!!

Then after I got home, I had another unhappy realization. I need to shave my legs before Friday! DAMN!!!!! Yes, people, I know "they" don't care if my legs are shaved, but I do. This is where my vanity comes into play, not on the hearing aid. My dirty little secret is that I haven't shaved my legs since, oh, about October!! I'm just glad I thought of it today, 'cause it's gonna take me two days to shave!!

2012-01-19T21:36:00.000-07:00

I'm back to having trouble writing here. I've started a post twice and deleted both, because after a few sentences, I just didn't know where to go next. I think it's about the eye thing from yesterday. Well, probably linked with several other things going on, but this is like the last straw, ya know?

I'm still not terribly worried about it, but the idea that my eyesight is at risk sits in there back of my mind like a flea that takes a nip every so often.

I got to work and was having some trouble getting things done for a little while after I got there. Then I spoke with a coworker and friend about business and then suddenly I was unloading. She helped me refocus, weigh my situation and put some perspective back in play. I'm still a little ill at ease about it, and I suspect I will be for a while. The thought, even a vague possibility, of losing sight is something that kinda bites your butt and clamps on for the duration. But I felt a little better. Honestly, the rest of my day was highly productive. I was still thinking of it, but I kept busy and got a tone accomplished.

And the weather was amazing today! It was around 60° and totally beautiful. I frequently walk back and forth between two buildings at work, and it was very pleasant to do so for a change. When weather is icky, it is not fun. There is a pretty steep hill with a terraced gravel walk between, and in bad weather, well, it stinks. So I was happy to be outside in the fresh air. I think that helped my mood, too.

And how was your day?

A little better today

2012-01-18T18:26:00.001-07:00

OK, back from the big medical appointment. All is well. Or all is reasonably well.

My retina is in place and attached. Whew.

I have a floater in the vitreous in my right eye. The vitreous has pulled away from the retina at the back of my eye, but has not torn the retina. This will give you a better explanation than I can possibly produce.

Bottom line, I have to be rechecked every 5-6 weeks until this resolves itself. The hazy spot in my vision is the floater, a piece of material that is loose and floating in the fluid inside the vitreous. Chances are the floater will shift out of my line of vision, but when is anyone's guess.

So, I'm not out of danger, exactly, but it isn't an urgent thing. I feel better. I'm a bit wrung out from the 3 hours in the car and nearly 3 hours in the doctor's office. But that's a small thing. The bigger thing is that this hangs over my head until it heals itself or a retinal tear occurs, necessitating surgery and hopes for not costing my part of my vision. But not something I can afford to lose sleep over, so I won't. Hopefully.

Later!

Hmmm.

2012-01-17T20:40:00.001-07:00

I'm a little nervous this evening.

I've been having a minor problem with one of my eyes. Hard to explain, but I've had a small area in my vision that is a bit hazy. Since I know I have the beginnings of cataracts, and this is similar to what I described to the doctor, I wasn't too worried. I've had this for a while, and it comes and goes. Recently, the hazy spot has been consistent. It's as if I have something in my eye causing a fogginess in a tiny area or a little smudge on my glasses. It's not bad, but it sometimes interferes with reading, particularly in the evening when my eyes are a little tired, anyway.

I haven't worried. It isn't new, just more persistent. Today I mentioned it to my boss, a nurse. Without a hesitation, she said to call the eye doctor. I kinda did the "uh, well, OK, I will" response, and she said, "No, when you go back to your office, make the call." Hmmm.

I called the doctor's office, explained the situation and was asked if I could come in tomorrow at 10:00. I asked if it could be Thursday so I could arrange someone to come with me (at least that eye will be dilated), and she said "We'd really like you to come tomorrow."

Damn.

When I made the first appointment with this doctor, it was a three month wait. When I scheduled the second one, it was six months down the road, and we still had some negotiating to find a workable time because her schedule was already about half filled. And now she wants to see me tomorrow?

Not liking this. I'm not terribly concerned, but definitely not happy about this whole thing.

I'm hoping it is just a precaution and it is not something serious. But in the meantime, keep me in your prayers. And yes, I have a friend who is driving me down and back.

I'll let ya know.

Best laid plans ....

2012-01-15T10:53:00.000-07:00

.... and all that jazz.

When I saw the weather forecast for the weekend, I was excited, because it was nice, mid-fifties all weekend. My plan was to clean house yesterday (I did), then today I would brush and trim the dogs, followed with a bath for each. I need mild weather for that, because I do it on the deck to minimize the loose hairs in the carpet.

Buuuuuutt........

While the temp is 53° out there, perfect for working on The Kids, the wind is blowing. The weather station says it is blowing around 11-15 mph (depending on which site you look at) and gusting between 23-28 mph. Translate that into wind chill, and it is too much. I could dress OK with a windbreaker suit I have, but my hands would freeze.

And tomorrow? Temps in the upper 40s or low 50s, windy and with a ix of rain and snow showers. Ick! I'll be at work, so it isn't a big deal, except it will be dreary, and I don't do dreary.

Anyway, now I have to replan my day.........

Rats.

Now I guess I'm doomed to sit in the house today and read.

Darn, life is really tough.

Communication these days

2012-01-13T18:11:00.000-07:00

Do people communicate any more?

In our fast paced world with email, blogs, social networks, texting, tweets, and all kinds of instant communications, I've noticed a loss in real communication. When I say "real communication" I mean talking on the phone, writing letters or even emails with substance to them (not "forwards" or jokes), and sometimes even the personal, face to face conversations. It seems that many of us don't slow down enough to enjoy each other.

I've noticed that sometimes, when I'm talking to someone, they seems to be drifting away after a few minutes, and to be honest, I find myself doing that, too. And I find myself sending a text rather than making a call to convey a message. That's fine when that is the only reason for the contact, but I've been thinking that if I would just make the call and take five minutes to connect and actually talk, it would make myself and hopefully the other person slow down a moment and have that connection that is so important to we humans. Yet the next time I do the same thing!

In the process of this, it seems that I'm losing some people.

Now, to be honest, I often feel talking on the phone almost a chore. I used to love to talk for long periods. Several jobs in the course of my life required me to be on the phone a lot, and it became a burden. Now there are friends and family members that I don't talk with nearly as much as I would like. The trouble is, I call them and they are busy or vice versa. We are just too, too busy!

So how is your communication?

PS - I want to add this thought: I'm actually very glad to have the ability to text with my grandchildren. It has allowed us to keep i touch in their way, and when we get together, it doesn't feel as distant. I guess because I relate to them in a way they like, it has lowered some potential blocks. They actually text better than they talk on the phone!! OK, OK, there are some advantages!

Goggle

2012-01-12T21:37:00.000-07:00

This is too funny. Someone googled "pouytfffytcdtytcf" and it brought them to my blog! To be specific, it came to this post, in which I mentioned "puffy" clouds!! I wonder what the heck that person was actually looking for?

Google over-kill???

And now about this .... in the past 2-3 weeks I've had several hits from people googling "Johnny Carson and Ed Ames." It takes them here. I wonder what the fascination all the sudden is with that?

Google is funny and strangely efficient!

Stirring the pot

2012-01-10T22:29:00.000-07:00

This evening I reposted a statement from a friend's FB page. I thought it was a good reminder that we apply our opinions unevenly. I wanted to make us each think and be aware of our thoughts and actions. I didn't think of it as being terribly controversial, but I guessed wrong! There was quite an interesting exchange that followed! Anyway, I though I would post the statement here and see what opinions come of it.

Here it is:

Borrowed from M.....

I am not a bully but I support and share Anti bullying comments, I am not a homosexual but I support and share GLBT rights comments. Please enlighten me as to why one is looked on with favor while the other ....not so much?

OK, let's hear it!

BTW, if you're interested, I will post the conversation from FB after leaving this open for 24 hours or so.

Follow up

2012-01-10T09:02:00.001-07:00

Just for fun, here's the scene of the "action" in the daylight. Don't you love that the town is still waking up and this vacant just before 9:00??

BTW, for interest, I live on the other side of the mountains. Not the taller peak with a good snow cap, but beyond the one to the right and down a foothill or two. My elevation here at the house is about 7200 feet, so not far down the foothills.

And I'm realizing that, if I'm not mistaken, the large green roof on the left side is the Irish Pub! Perhaps that is the answer to the car parked on the sidewalk!! LOL!

The mystery as it unfolds ....

2012-01-09T21:36:00.000-07:00

Occasionally I watch the webcam on the main street of Ruidoso for a couple minutes. It's kinda fun to see what's going on, how much snow, how much traffic, etc. Well, tonight I turned it on and saw this:

Nothing remarkable. And just as I was ready to close the screen, I noticed the car on the sidewalk on the left hand side. No biggie. I assumed a shop owner was there to load some things in the car or from the car to the store.

The next screen came up (it takes about 25-30 seconds to make the loop from one to the next) and nothing had really changed. But I noticed the tire tracks in the snow on the sidewalk.

I wondered if the vehicle had pulled in front of the store, a women's clothing store, to load or something, but wondered why they had moved back and then just parked with the lights on.

Then just as I was about to click off, the new screen rolled up. Well, looky there! A cop's vehicle has pulled in behind the vehicle I've been watching! AHA!

And after a couple rotations of this with no changes and me beginning to wonder if the cops are in the store or just where, because I've not seen them on the screen at all, this one came up ....

You might have to enlarge it to see three people walking on the sidewalk toward the two vehicles. I can't tell if they are cops or citizens. Hmmm. The plot thickens!!

I was waiting patiently (or not!) for the next shot to roll up, and .... and .... and ....

Well, WTF? The "counter" just keeps counting down and then starting over without loading a new picture! It kept coming up to that picture above, so I tried refreshing the screen. Nothing worked. It was still that same shot of three people approaching the vehicles.

Finally, the screen refreshed, but in the three minutes or so that I was biting the bullet to see what happened, both vehicles were gone.

Apparently they drove over the sidewalk in front of the store and off the curb (enlarge this photo and you can see the snow tracks in the street).

Dang, I missed all the action about how it ended. Piff-poof! We'll never know.

And that, dear friends, is how you spend an evening at Chéz Lynilu! Wooohooo!!

LOL!!!

Being green

2012-01-09T19:02:00.000-07:00

Do you "go green"?

I've been known to go to the grocery store and forget to take in my "green bags."I usually just have them leave the groceries in the cart and I put them in bags at the car, then return the cart to the store.

Yeah, I'm the crazy lady in the parking lot.

2012-01-07T08:50:00.000-07:00

This stirred some sweet memories for me.

Right at the top of that list is when my son (now 47) was about 20 months old. After the excitement of opening gifts and playing hard all morning, it was nap time. He was exhausted and didn't fight the nap, but he wanted to take something with him. Somewhere (I couldn't locate it today) I have a snapshot of him curled up in his bed in a t-shirt and undershorts with new red insulated mittens on his hands and a Tonka Jeep clutched to his chest! Sooo cute!

Wake up!!!

2012-01-05T20:52:00.000-07:00

I wonder how long it will take. How many decades, centuries will we live through before we get it, all of us, the whole of humankind?

I've read a couple comments recently that just break my heart and make be want to smack some ignorant, immature face, too.

Young women .... no, girls .... commenting on FB about men who don't live up to their responsibility, men who make a good front about fatherhood but aren't what they seem. Did I say "men"? I should probably change that to "boys."

When will we become the sort of parents/adults who make sure our children/teenagers understand the realities of what can happen (pregnancy), and the ensuing lifetime commitment (parenthood), and the reason for approaching it as a couple, not as an afterthought of pleasure, or as a game that we can switch into "off" mode at will.

Honestly. I'm just aghast at the youthful stupidity that leads to a young woman opening her legs because [fill in the excuse] and then not considering the probability of pregnancy. It is usually blown off, er, excuse me, rationalized by things like "I can raise this baby by myself," [yeah, you probably will have to] or "He'll be there for me," [OK, whatever, just like he is willing to marry you now, right?] or "It's OK, he promises to buy diapers." Holy shit.

I'm not trying to blast young men who take advantage of a situation [or give in to the hormones]; most of us do at one time or another. I'm not trying to besmirch young women who think they are old enough to "love;" again, it's pretty typical based on their development. But damn it, people, yes, you "grown up" parents who are not supervising your kids, allowing your kid's peer pressure to circumvent your parenting responsibilities, not giving your kids the necessary education and guidance so they can make good decisions based on the lifetime commitment of having babies!

Babies are not toys!

A 17 year old, an 18 year old, hell's bells, many 22 year olds, are not prepared for parenthood, let along doing it solo. We pretend that children are growing up faster than we did. Bull shit. Plain and simple, they may put on makeup and sexy clothing, and they may talk a good story, but childhood development is still pretty much on the same track as it always was .... no one, NO ONE is ready to parent at ages under, oh, I don't know, maybe 25? Me included .... pregnant at 19, mother at 20 .... but I at least had a husband who joined me in the process and stuck around. I was entirely too flippin' young. But I had a guy who stuck around, who supported me and cared for me as his children's mother. We later divorced, probably because we were too immature to work out the rough patches. Hellooooooo!

OK, venting over. Resume happiness!

Doing for others

2012-01-04T20:25:00.000-07:00

Doing things without recognition

There has been a number of recent posts on blogs and FB about doing things for others without claiming the actions. It's all in the holiday spirit, of course. I'm all for it. I think it does us a lot of good to do nice things without letting anyone know. When I've done this, I've felt a special "tickle" inside. I love watching or hearing about the response of the recipients. I feel that we should all do kind things as a routine, not because we want accolades.

Then there is the matter of doing your job and doing it well, whether the job is a paying job, a volunteer position, or a task on a committee. I don't expect to be fawned over for doing my job. I don't mind helping coworkers who are in a bind trying to get a job done with too little time or struggling with some aspect when I have the time, knowledge, ability, expertise or whatever to help them complete it. When I do that, all I want is "Thanks." I don't expect a fanfare. That's just what a person should do for another.

I believe we should "do for others" any time we can. I believe that is the "right" thing to do. And I think the reward should be mostly inside, the pleasure of doing, rather than needing the strokes from others. And honestly, I kinda like the smug feeling of having that little happy secret. That's my reward!

When others take credit

Then there is the other side that irritates me. I sometimes do things to help others for the simply pleasure of doing it, and I really don't expect or even want to be acknowledged. But then someone else grabs credit for it. HUH?? What is with that?

I've seen situations where I or someone I know does an anonymous nice thing, then someone else steps up to take credit for it! Or I've helped a coworker with a project, then when (s)he is told "Good job," seems to forget the help and simply beams over their own success!

Have you ever had a supervisor who gives you assignments which involve your time for research or particular skill or knowledge you possess? You do the job, turn it in, and the next thing you know that supervisor has submitted the work, YOUR work, as his/her own. Did you ever do a good deed quietly, then a "friend" is told "That sounds like something you would do. Did you?" and that "friend" doesn't say yes but also doesn't deny it?

I will never stop doing "good deeds." I won't quit being available to people I work with for overwhelming tasks. I'll continue to help friends or strangers who need it, and I won't toot my own horn over doing things that simply need to be done. That's just how it is. And I won't expect parades in my honor for little stuff. But I refuse to think kindly of people who snatch someone else's little jewel in the crown.

It hasn't happened to me recently, and I hope it doesn't often again.

What's your take on this? Do you have an experience to share?

Exhaustion ....

2012-01-02T11:38:00.000-07:00

The last few weeks have been exhausting.

Work has been hectic. Nothing awful, but there has been tension because of new employees being trained and everyone shifting this way and that to cover until new folks are competent and carrying their own weight. That sort of scenario always leads to tense workplace relationships. This has been rugged because among those who are "tense" are the upper echelon, leaving us all feeling disconnected. Sometimes simply getting an answer, a clarification, a definition isn't possible, and that leaves one feeling like a ship without a rudder, just drifting without a sense of control over where to go and how to get there. That stinks, let me tell you. I think it is about over, but it has been rough for about two months.

Then on the personal side, I've been busy. Actually I've been overly busy, but I didn't realize it until the last few days. I should have declined a few invitations, but it just didn't occur to me to do so until now! In the last four weeks I've attended eleven (yes, 11) potlucks and three dinners! I ran out of creative ideas of what to take to these dinners! Yesterday a friend asked me why I didn't just fix the same thing for several dinners, and I reminded her that unless the host wishes to keep the leftovers (and most don't), you wind up with them at home, and I get seriously tired of eating the same thing for a week, or in this case, weeks!

I'm highly hopeful that I'm now into a new era! Yesterday I said on FB that I planned to spend today in a fetal position in bed or on the couch with my Kindle. That was not a joke. Well, the "fetal position" part was, but not the doing-nothing-all-day-long part. And so far, I'm succeeding! The only "work" I've done is to feed the dogs and myself. I'll water the plants later. That might well be it for this day!

On the coffee table in front of me is a stack of fourteen books, mostly history of New Mexico or Lincoln County. I've switched back and forth a couple times already between the "real" books and the Kindle. That's how I tend to read. A friend asked what I'm reading. There is not a easy answer, because I typically have four to six books going at once. Depends on my mood as to which book I'll read at any given time, so currently have 5 books open and partially read in Kindle, and three of the books on the table have bookmarks in them.

I'm already feeling more rested. I slept very soundly last night, and giving myself permission to do diddly-squat today seems to be a good balance for me. I wish I could stay home a few more days and continuing this pattern, but like most of you, it's back to the unreal world of the workplace tomorrow. With any luck, the tension of the past weeks will be reduced with the holidays behind us. I certainly hope so. I like my work, but I've found myself dreading going in recently because I don't know what to expect on any day. Say a prayer for me.

That said ....

Happy New Year

to all of you!

I think it's gonna be a good one! I truly do!

Climbing the mountain

2012-01-01T11:55:00.000-07:00

I didn't plan this as a New Year's Post, but after finishing it up, it seems to be a pretty good one for this day. Happy New Year, and blessing on your lives, my friends.

~ ~ ~ ~

The Beauty of the Mountain is hidden for all those who try to discover it from the top, supposing that, one way or an other, one can reach this place directly. The Beauty of the Mountain reveals only to those who climbed it.

- Antoine de Saint-Exupery -

~ ~ ~ ~

Much of my life has been spent in relative comfort. My family of origin was not wealthy; in fact, my parents often struggled to make ends meet. In spite of that, I don't remember feeling needy about anything. Oh, perhaps a few times when I wanted a toy that was out of budget, or a similar childish interprtation of life, but even that was relatively rare.

Most of my adult life I had most of what I wanted. In my early married days, there were quite a few times when I had to stretch my weekly dollars, but it always worked out. Later on I never thought of myself as being rich or even comfortable. But I was. I was fortunate to be able to travel, to drive good cars, to not have to worry about the bill when we ate out. It was nice to be able to treat friends and family to dinner or gifts.

After my husband died I assessed my IRAs and retirement accounts and found I was able to retire. I was set for the rest of my life to be comfortable as long as I didn't get silly with my spending. I could even travel moderately and generally continue my life pretty much as was usual.

And then you might guess what happened. The tanking of the affluent markets surprised us all.

I was able to salvage more of my investments than many people did, but it still hit me very hard. My life changed more than I can describe. Since that time, I've been known to wallow and whine. When that grew old, I found a job. Yes, at 66 I returned to the work force, and I've been glad I was able to find a job in the abysmal job market. And I often stretch to make ends meet now, even with that added income.

But here's the thing that has come about for me in this. I've realized that as much as I wish I could turn the clock back and preserve my life style as I'd come to know it, the lessons I've learned over recent few years are wonderful. As the quote above says, I slid down the mountain, and the rocky crags at the bottom of the slide were sharp, hard, and tore at me. But the climbing back up is a very good thing. Don't get me wrong, my financial situation isn't getting any better. But in my climb, I'm learning about things of a different nature.

I've learned about my own spirituality
I've learned that digging deep into my core is sometimes painful, but never disappointing
I've learned about human nature
I've learned about the values of people/friendship/relationships
I've learned I'm stronger than I give myself credit
I've learned that my inner peace goes deeper than I ever guessed
I've learned my strength and creativity exceeds my expectations
I've learned I need to be careful about exceeding those expectations, too
I've learned about loneliness
I've learned to be thoughtful about sharing my core
I've been reminded that sunshine is the best medicine
I've stretched out of my comfort zone in many ways
I've come to appreciate that, while my health is typical of an aging person, life is still wondreful

The list might go on, but it's not necessary. The point is that my life has changed. A lot. For some it might seem it's for the worse, but I don't see it that way. I'm enjoying life treasures that can't be bought, and to be honest, having the "comforts" probably masked these gifts. I'm glad I have found insights for the more simple pleasures. I like what I'm finding wrapped around my essence. It is very good, and I'm pursuing more of it.

I still pray for more financial comfort, for sure. I don't like the feeling just before payday that says "what if [fill in the 'disaster']." But I hope I never lose the peace that I've gained from the process of learning just how solid I really am.

I'm glad I climbed the mountain and wasn't airlifted to the top.

Bad blogger

2011-12-31T09:35:00.003-07:00

I'm deciding I'm no longer a good blogger. Never thought I'd say that.

I have a few partially written ideas that I will try to flesh out and post, then see where it goes. It could just be the busy-ness of the holidays and the funk that often accompanies, so if I an put my head into these few pending posts parked over there in the "drafts" section, perhaps I will get past it. I don't know, though, as this is just one of a series of such blogging funks I've been through in the last year. FB does not have the body and context of the blog, and I miss that, but sitting down and writing much more seems to be out of my range right now.

Anyway .....

We'll see.

Holidays and grief

2011-12-20T22:25:00.003-07:00

Getting through the holidays can be difficult when you're missing a loved one who has died. My sister died a little over a year ago, but the holidays this year have been harder for me than they were last year. Why? Well, because the reality of her death had not completely set in last Christmas. Most of us take the hardest hit with grief something like three to six months later. When Mother's Day rolled around, I was very sad. That was six months after she was gone. Her birthday in November was far harder this year than it was last year, just a few short weeks after she left us. When I called my brother, her twin, to say Happy Birthday to him, I was actually relieved when he didn't answer the phone, because I wasn't sure I could talk.

If you know someone who has lost a loved one in the last couple years, give them a call or invite them to join you if possible during the holidays. It can be really hard to get through holidays when everyone is so happy and you can't quite get in step with it. A few words can mean a lot.

http://www.ruidosonews.com/ci_19501019?IADID=Search-www.ruidosonews.com-www.ruidosonews.com

By the way .... a reminder to us all. Don't assume someone should "be over it." Unless they aren't able to live a pretty normal life, be kind and supportive, and don't criticize. We grieve forever. It gets easier with time, but the grief is permanent. If a hand is cut off, you learn to get along and to do things differently, but the fingers are gone forever.

Grieving is never easy.
Grieving is never the same for two people.
Grieving is never the same for two deaths.
Grieving is a lot of things, but it is never what
we expect it to be when it happens to us.
Grieving is something no one has to do alone.

One last thing .... remember that people grieve ALL loss, not just a death. In divorce, we grieve the loss of a family; we might be grieving the loss of jobs, homes, financial security, a pet, etc. If someone has lost anything, be kind. Let go of some of the frenetic holiday pace and pay attention to those around you.

Peaceful holidays to everyone!

Day at home

2011-12-19T18:14:00.000-07:00

I didn't go to work today. No, it wasn't about the weather. In fact, the big storm didn't happen here today. The northern part of the state got blasted, but I got nothing here. There were some flurries off and on all day, but nothing stuck to the ground. It may still snow tonight, but probably just an inch or so.

I stayed home because I woke this morning and was nearly unable to walk. Fibromyalgia had not just reared hit's ugly head, but was showing it's naughty butt as well. I seriously could barely walk from room to room, the worst I've been in a long time. I'm guessing the weather changes are what did me in.

I've slept off and on almost all day. Finally, by late afternoon, I woke feeling relatively decent. I can't say I'm feeling good, but I can at least walk without every step causing pain. I hope tomorrow will be a good day. I can't say I minded being home, sleeping and cuddling with the pups, but I need to get back to work.

Don't ya just love days in bed .... at last when you're not sick, just debilitated? LOL! Hey, I'll take my joy where I can find it!

Wintery stuff

2011-12-18T20:12:00.003-07:00

I've been a ba-a-a-a-ad blogger .... again. It is just so easy to get sidetracked. Oh, well.

About the time of my last post we had a big snow storm. Missing a couple days of work because of it put me behind, and I'm finally caught up again as of last week. The other good thing is that my driveway is finally clear of snow again! That's the only thing I don't like about this new kind of winter weather we are having; the temperatures are staying colder longer than is usual, so the snow doesn't melt. As I drive through the driveway, it packs down, doesn't melt and then becomes ice packed. The drive has a significant slope, so it becomes a slippery and dangerous place.

And guess what? Yup, we are due for another storm beginning tonight. This one could leave me with anything between 5 and 10 inches of snow. Not a bad amount, however, it could once again impede my travel to work. Gah. And with two short weeks coming up, I will be behind again for a while. Double gah. Oh well, that is life!

Today has been a strange weather day. This morning when I drove to church, the sky was brilliant blue and there were very low lying clouds in areas below my own elevation.

You can see how gorgeous the sky was, and there were no clouds except for those clinging to the ground.

Three hours later I was coming home and noticed the clouds were still there but were darker.

And when I got home, I had a surprise waiting for me. Do you see it?

Uh-hmmmm. This is Miss Jazmyn Jewel, sitting on the railing, as if it is a normal daily occurence!! Little snip!!

I had actually left her with access to the deck to see if I can figure out her escape route. I was pretty sure I knew what was going on, although I certainly didn't expect to see her on the railing! I left her semi-blocked, and sure enough she moved big things out of her way to get to where she could climb up the wire, pull herself onto the railing and escape. Knowing I would be gone just a short time during daylight seemed like the time to test the waters.

I spent a few minutes and erected a new level of security, and I think we are OK once again. Well, until she figures out a new place/way to escape!!!

This afternoon the fog began to creep up the mountain toward my house. It was surreal and beautiful! Look at these: (click on them to enlarge, as they are beautiful)

This peak is the same as the very first in this post but taken from a different spot.

After this was taken, the fog first enveloped the house, then began to move away again! It was very strange.

Now I'm just sitting, waiting for the next weather event, and it will probably begin around midnight and last until Tuesday morning. Wish us luck for a less-than-immobilizing snow storm!!

I'll let ya know!!

Growing old

2011-12-06T21:17:00.000-07:00

A friend recently sent me an email with statements about growing old. [Thanks, Ruth!] Several of them resonated with me, and I thought I'd share them with you, along with my thoughts on each.

So long as one continues to be amazed, one can delay growing old.

Maybe that's why I have trouble "feeling" old. I am always amazed .... at others and at myself, too! Honestly, life is just amazing, and I can't imagine not noticing it, feeling it.

It is by growing old that one learns to remain young.

Growing old raises my awareness of so many things, and I think much of that awareness if external, rather than the egocentric kind of awareness more common among the younger set. It's not exactly that I want to be turn back the clock, but I agree that growing old is making me feel young in so many ways.

Old age embellishes everything. It has the effect of the setting sun on the beautiful twilights of autumn.

Ohhh, yessss. I see so many things in technicolor these days! There is just something about knowing it's all there specifically for my enjoyment! OK, OK, not just for me, but I enjoy most things as if that were true. Perhaps it is because I don't know how many more days of beauty I will be blessed with, but whatever .... it is awesome!

As one grows old, one generally rids himself of his shortcomings because they no longer serve any useful purpose.

I hardly now how to explain this. It's one of those "you have to be there to get it" sort of things. But it is true. Time spent on the trivialities of shortcomings is just wasted. Oh, I still have shortcomings, but I'm spending less time exercising them! Or worrying about them!

The person who considers himself too old to learn something has probably always been that way.

When my kids were little and came to me with a question that I couldn't answer, I didn't try to cover my lack of knowledge. Rather, I said, "I don't know. Let's find out." That was, of course, before internet .... WAY before!! .... so it meant getting out the encyclopedia or dictionary or a trip to the library, where we learned together. I'm still that way. I'm not too old to learn, I'm not too proud to adit I don't know everything, and I try to learn every day. Something. Every day.

My all time favorite wasn't included in the list. I'm going to throw it in here, just for fun!

Growing old is mandatory. Growing up is optional.

I don't really have to explain that one, do I? [chuckle] Didn't think so!

What do you think?

2011-12-04T10:03:00.001-07:00

Let me say right off the bat that this is going to be a controversial post. The controversy is not in what I say but in the topic. Also be advised that I am not going to respond to comments, however, I will delete any comments that are nasty-natured or hateful. Please don't make me have to do this; keep it civil. The post is to invite thinking and discussion; I'll even tolerate debate, as long as it is not personal or venomous. I will not take sides, although I think this is an interesting concept and most assuredly have my own opinion, open to being convinced, if you think you can! Here goes ....

The question ....

Was The United States of America founded as a Christian nation?

Many think so, citing such ideas as that the pilgrims were Christians looking for safety to worship without religious persecution. Remember that the pilgrims arrived on these shores in the early 1600's (the "official" date is 1620); the split with England, the Revolution and the founding of the US were farther down the road, culminating a century and a half later (1775-1783). We all know how things can change .... think of our country in 185 and now; many changes.

The "Founding Fathers" were of diverse backgrounds and spiritual beliefs. They were Christians of many denominations, deists, atheists, agnostics and Unitarians. Look these up and consider the wide variety of those beliefs. It is important to understand the combined backgrounds of the Founding Fathers before making blanket statements about who they were and what they believed.

I'll say no more now. Please read the links below. I selected some on each side of the argument and at least one that is relatively neutral. If I did not get a balance, please forgive, but this was just a ten minute exercise in research. You can also select your own by googling "Were the Founding Fathers Christians?" or a similar phrase.

http://www.theology.edu/journal/volume2/ushistor.htm

http://nobeliefs.com/Tripoli.htm

http://www.jameswatkins.com/foundingfathers.htm

http://freethought.mbdojo.com/foundingfathers.html

http://www.afn.org/~govern/Christian_Nation.html

http://freethoughtpedia.com/wiki/Was_the_United_States_founded_on_Christianity%3F#The_Underlying_Question

Once you've read some of these sources, feel free to come back and comment. I look forward to hearing your thoughts!

My thought, and the last one I will offer is this: There is no really clear answer. We must be careful in "quoting" things we've heard; sometimes those words are simply the thoughts of a another person, sometimes a uninformed one.

Winter Flora Fauna & Fog ... and other good and lazy stuff

2011-12-02T15:58:00.001-07:00

Yesterday was an interesting weather day. I woke actually too late to see the sunrise, unusual for me. But shortly after the sun rose .... or I guess it did .... to a thick, heavy fog. I could tell the sun was up because of the amount of light outside my house, but I couldn't see it. We get these fogs occasionally, and they always amaze me.

It was cold as stink. Well, OK, maybe not that cold, but the temp was 17° and the moisture in the air made it bone chilling. There was a very thin layer of ice on every window of my truck, frozen so hard that I couldn't make a dent in it. I started the engine, cranked the defroster all the way up, and came back inside for a few minutes. When I went out again, I was able to scrape it off. I'm glad the side irrors have a defroster in them! I wish all the windows did, as well.

The drive to work was slow. The fog was still pea soup thickness, so I went slow. And although the roads didn't look bad, I felt a tiny bit of slipping under my tires as I started up the mountain toward Ruidoso. I moved to the inside lane and finished the uphill trek there. I normally hate it when people drive in the left lane like that, but when that is the lane without ice .... Well, I broke my own rule.

On the way home from work, about 2:00, everything was a wonderland. The fog was frozen on the trees. Yep, what you see is not snow .... it is frozen fog!

Then I spotted these just off the side of the road. Four does and a buck elk were grazing. I have elk here, but I rarely see them. I know they visit my property because they leave their "calling cards." But they stay out of sight most of the time. I was delighted to have an opportunity to get a picture or two.

This lady was totally unconcerned that I had stopped the truck.

This one watched me carefully. Even though it looks as if she is not looking, her eyes were never off me.

Oops! Just as I snapped this, she ducked her head for another bite!

"Oh! Did you want a picture? Sorry! Is this better? You're welcome!"

And HIM!! He wouldn't turn around! He just Kept looking over his ~~butt~~ shoulder at me!


Seriously????

Two more of his ladies.

I'm poised to snap, and OF COURSE he ducks for a bite!

Then he hid behind those limbs!

OK, finally!

Wanna have a little drive in the fog?

This one is short, and it ends when I turn onto the gravel road that takes me home. It is rough, so I had to turn the camera off. Actually, I don't notice the roughness so much, but the camera on the dashboard made it evident! Right at the end you'll hear some clicking. It's my keys clicking against the steering column as the road becomes rougher!

And close to home I just had to take these pix of the icy flora beside the road.

Over night I got about 5-6 inches of snow. I really thought I would get twice that. Nevertheless, I made a decision to stay in as much as possible for the weekend. So far, it has been totally possible! I've had a delicious day. I stayed in bed till noon! Read and had several cups of coffee, then fixed breakfast and returned to the bed to eat it and read some more. Since I got up, I've putzed around the house and got some things done, but I haven't broken a sweat! My kinda day!

Holidays

2011-11-27T15:47:00.001-07:00

It has been a very nice, very lazy weekend. I hate to see it end, to be honest. I have done little to be productive, but I don't really care! I simply enjoyed it!

I ran across this blog post when friend linked to it on FB.

http://www.jennifermcgrail.com/2011/11/happy-holidays-and-other-four-letter-words/

I am quite impressed with how this expressed something that is an uncomfortable issue for many. I get tired of the emails and posts that seems to imply that I'm quite "right" if I say "Happy Holidays," rather than "Merry Christmas." It's as if we are deemed heathens if we say anything other than "Merry Christmas." Well, I for one, will continue to say 'Happy Holidays." I also say "Merry Christmas." It depends on many factors. Here is a little thing I wrote and posted on FB:

Yes, it is still OK to say "Merry Christmas." I will also say "Happy Holidays"!

When I say "Happy Holidays," I'm certainly remembering Christ. But in my mind, "Holidays" includes all the seasonal Christian events, Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year are certainly observed by us all in this grouping). I'm also including my friends who celebrate other holidays at this time of year: Hanukkah, Kwanza, Soyaluna, Winter Solstice, Las Posadas. I'll admit I don't actually know a Hopi, but I threw that in for fun! The others .... yep, I respect and honor my friends around their holidays as well as they do mine.

So forgive me for having a different view of this. I treasure my friends of all walks, and I will continue to say "Happy Holidays!" to everyone.

So what's your take? Are you a "merry Christmas purist" or are you more ecumenical? Are you tired of people being disrespectful or are you tired of being corrected?

Here is a second, related issue: I'm weary to death of Christmas. No, I'm not being disregarding of Christianity or of Christ; I'm just worn out with the gaudy, over-commercialized, time-abusive, and greedy ways that it is celebrated. If we could get back to the quiet, reflective and homey celebration of Christmas that I remember from earlier times, I think I'd feel differently. As it stands now, I am beginning to seriously dislike this time of year.

I love Thanksgiving because it doesn't require gifts, costuming and scaring people, buying greeting cards, inundating people with candy (even if it is chocolate!), or loud noises. It is focused on family and friends, our relationships, not our pocketbooks, glitz and trying out out-gift each other and top the year before!

Christmas began on a bad note, in my opinion, when the church decided to place it at a time of year when pagan celebrations were taking place, and many pagan practices became part of the remembrance of Christ's birthday. Unfortunately, it has gotten worse over the centuries. My favorite part of Christmas has always been the Christmas Eve services at church, children's programs, singing Christmas carols, and simply being with the people I love. Well, so much for that!

Sorry, if this seems like an angry rant. I'm really not angry. I am disappointed that as a society, we have allowed ourselves to be led down this road. It is especially disheartening to me that in the current economy we are still unable to get control of our appetites and tell Big Corporate America to STOP IT!

Do you think this can change? Or are we too far into this to back away, to return to a simpler way of celebrating this holiday? Do you want it to change, or do you like it the way it is? Do you think I'm just a raging nut? Oh, wait, forget that one, cause we all know I am! ;)

A good Thanksgiving

2011-11-25T20:28:00.001-07:00

Yesterday was a beautiful day.

How can it not be beautiful when I had a chance to dine with these wonderful people?

Jeff & Lynne, Zoë, Britt, and Janie

In a beautiful, historical place high on a mountain with snow outside the window. (Clark Gable and Carole Lombard honeymooned there)

The buffet was outstanding.

The company was great!

Lynne and Zoë caught giggling!

Britt was sweetly pensive.

And Janie had something to say.

I didn't realize till now that I didn't get a close up of Jeff. Oops!

And the drive there and back was nice, but I didn't take photos along the way, unfortunately. I was busy talking. No surprise, huh?

I'm thankful for my whole life. Oh, yes.

2011-11-22T10:46:00.001-07:00

About that quote in the earlier post ....

"One day you will ask me which is more important? my life or yours? I will say mine and you will walk away not knowing that you are my life."   ~Khalil Gibran

Here's the thing .... I think it is hard for us, in this world, to make another person's life our own. We can, however, strive to understand others and be respectful of their lives, of what makes them who they are. I believe when we do that we open our eyes, in fact, our hearts, to making theirs as important as our own. In that way, we make the world a better place. If I make your life my own, how can I do wrong to you?

You are my life.
You are not ALL my life.
But your life is as important as my own.

2011-11-22T09:57:00.001-07:00

I'm still in bed. I love Tuesdays because I can do this. I don't go to work until around noon because I stay late for a bereavement group, so I get to be incredibly, sinfully, gloriously lazy! Today, after waking, I fed the dogs and made coffee, then returned to the warmth under the covers and read for a couple hours. Next I putzed with email, reading blogs and Facebook, and now I'm considering actually getting up. Before I do, however, consider this ....

"One day you will ask me which is more important? my life or yours? I will say mine and you will walk away not knowing that you are my life."   ~Khalil Gibran

Read that carefully.

I wonder .... how many of us can actually say that about another person?

I'll post more on this later, but ponder this, comment if you will. I'll be back.

See these Tuesday mornings allow me to think!!

I donno ....

2011-11-19T19:18:00.001-07:00

Betcha thought I would still be gone, didn't you? Well, let's wait and see if the comeback is long term. :)

My “vacation” has probably done me some good. I’ve thought a lot during this time. And I’ve taken a rest from thinking. I’ve talked to friends, and I’ve listened. There have been good days and not so good ones. And it has all been quite nice.

One thing that has come of this may be too complex to really deal with here, but who knows. Anyway, here goes ....

A friend recently asked me if I’ve dated since I was widowed. I said yes, a few times, but all the dates have led to my decision to have those people as friends. A lengthy conversation ensued, and the crux of it was that he asked if I am too particular. Am I? Hmmm. I don’t think so. But I’m rather too close to the situation to be totally objective.

Here is my view .... I have spent a lot of time in my life being what others wanted me to be. Or at least, what I thought they wanted. In the last 6 years, since my husband’s death, I’ve spent a lot of time with ME. As I say in my profile (right over there on the right side bar ==>) this is the first time I’ve lived alone. It has been an experience! It hasn’t always been good, trust me. But it’s been a long way from bad, too.

If nothing else, I’ve found that I really like ME. I’m not different from the person I used to be .... well, yes, of course I am, but you know what I mean .... but this is the first time in my life I’ve spent getting to know who I am. I value the person I’ve recently met. I think she deserves the good stuff of life. I’m deciding Im not willing to settle.

I’d love to find someone who I really want to be in my life. That would be wonderful. However, it would not be worth giving up the person I’ve discovered and actually LIKE in me, just to have a warm body hanging close by. I’m worth more than that. And I think I’m better company that most of the men I’ve met, even if it does mean I spend time talking to myself! So any man .... well, honestly, any person .... who is going to be in my life is going to be worthy of my self-resect.

So many of the men I meet, those who show an interest in dating, seem to be living somewhere in a world with rules that I don’t understand, and honestly, I don’t think I really want to learn those rules. Why? Because the rules seem to be those by which I lived the first (roughly) 1/10th of my life. Those were the rules that had me twisted into a pretzel, trying to please others. Don’t misunderstand, I still want to make those around me happy, but I want to be around people who go out of their way to please me, too.

I’m a little tired of men of an age appropriate for me who expect perfection from the women in their lives. Standing in line at Walmart one day, I listened to two men behind me talking about how attractive one of their wives was. The husband said that it was “too bad” that she didn’t “keep herself up” as she used to, having gained some weight. I turned around and looked, and if either of these men had seen their own toes in less than 10 years, it would surprise me! Hello?? And yet he expects his wife to still “keep herself up”?

That’s it! That’s what makes me shy away from “relationships.”

One thing I must give my late husband credit for is that he never criticized me when I gained weight. A few times he said he worried about my health because of the weight, but he never made me feel bad. That’s the nice thing about growing together through the years; the changes we go through are generally gradual and can be adjusted to a little at a time. Many couples my age have both gained weight or developed wrinkles or have sagging skin here or there, but it is OK because they’ve come to this state together.

Thinking of “dating” as I near 70 makes me cautious because, while I’ve lost a considerable amount of that excess poundage, I’m still overweight. Add to that the sagging skin from the weight loss; skin does not bounce back at an advanced age. There has to be a special attribute to any man I let into my life because I’m not perfect and anyone who stays in my life has to love me for me, in spite of it. We won’t have grown old and out of shape together, so affection must transcend all else (the physical).

I’ve met a few men who are mostly decent about it, but it is clear they just want to be “friends with benefits.” I am not so uptight that I couldn’t have a mostly physical relationship. But I crave affection, respect and tenderness more. Why would I settle for what I don’t want? In hopes that he might decide to “like me”?? Puhleeze! No, I’ll wait, but thank you for asking.

So no, I don’t date much. My friend doesn’t understand that. Of course he doesn’t. He has made comments not far different from those I heard at Walmart, about a couple women in his life. And yes, his belly is prominent, too. Now that I’ve worked this out in my head, I need to have a serious heart to heart with him.

Yep.

Where is this going?

2011-11-15T06:57:00.001-07:00

I'm beginning to think I'm "all blogged out."

I seem to be completely without inspiration to write here. Every time in the past week or so I have begun to write, I can't finish the first sentence. Before that, I've struggled for several weeks. I'm sad that it seems my brain has gone on vacation, because I've enjoyed my contact here, meeting new friends, and expressing myself in a myriad of ways, from thoughtful to bizarre.

It has been five and half years since I began. I've written nearly 2200 posts, and that doesn't count the 150 or so with cartoons that I deleted because of the picture storage. That's a lot of writing! I don't understand this sudden blank slate. And it seems the more I try to figure it out, the blanker the slate seems to be. As a friend used to say, "too much analyzation leads to paralyzation."

This tends to be a difficult time of the year for me with several family deaths, and a number of special pet deaths in past Octobers and Novembers may be a factor. I dislike the commercial aspects of the Christmas season and the frenetic pace society takes on, so I tend to seclude myself. I've been incredibly busy at work and socially recently, and perhaps I'm not giving myself enough "self time." I'm feeling some cut-off from significant people, a indicator of some depression. I don't have "that special person," be it partner or friend, to lean on, to talk with. Who knows. Maybe just a funk. And again, "too much analyzation leads to paralyzation."

I don't know what all this means. I am have another inspired burst and begin writing again soon, or this may simply drift into oblivion.

Wish me luck.

Snowflakes and Bears

2011-11-04T21:34:00.000-06:00

No snowflake ever falls in the wrong place.

A few days ago I posted that on my Facebook page. It's a Zen quote that just struck me. Gee, I wonder why?

Wellllll, the Pied Piper of Nogal has struck again ....

This handsome fellow showed up on my steps this evening.

Even with all five of my dogs standing on the other side of the gate, barking furiously at him, he stood his ground, wagging the stub of his little Australian Shepherd tail! He just wanted to be friends!

I stepped out through the gate and found him to be a wonderfully sweet dog. I tried to read his tag, but with poor lightig and his wiggling happily in my arms, it was a lost cause.

So I began the process of grabbing my kids, one at a time, getting them into the house after blocking the dog door to the deck. Then I let him onto the deck. He was still wiggling wildly, so much that his whole body was "wagging"! I finally took off the collar to read it. Sadly, it did not have his name and owner on it, and it was expired. I took a chance and called the vet, knowing she is one who takes calls any time she is in range. It went to the voice mail, so I left the message.

I was prepared to keep on the deck overnight if I didn't hear from the vet or couldn't find his home this evening. I didn't want him out wandering; one guy his size against a pack of coyotes is no match. I fixed a bed of the couch cushion, sheltering it with a couple trunks as we are supposed to have strong winds tonight and tomorrow.

I let my kids go out to meet him one at a time. Jaz was fine, in fact bossing him around about the water and food I brought to him! He lapped only a small amount of water and took one kibble from the dish, so obviously he wasn't from far away or lost for long. That was good news, and gave me hope that I might find a neighbor to give me some leads.

After an hour of calling around, getting hints and suggestions, I finally made a call that was fruitful. Yes, he was their dog, and as soon as the man got a pair of shoes on, he would be down.

It turns out that "Bear" has been in our 'hood just a week. Seems my neighbor has a coworker with a rental place. Recently the renter moved out and left Bear behind, so my neighbor said they would like to give him a try! Bear just moved in a week ago. He and his new family are adjusting, and the only problem is about him learning where is lives and his humans learning about how far to trust him! They has let him out to potty, as they have been doing all week, and a moment later Bear was gone! They had looked for him and called him for a while, and finally decided warm up and go out in the car. That's when I called.

So Bear is back home. His "dad" said they are still working on the "communication," but they are in love with his sweet personality. Boy, do I understand! The whole time he was here he was touching noses with all my dogs but Max (I knew better than to try that one!) or leaning against my leg, looking up at me with a grin on his face! A true charmer!

As I said Jazi wasn't concerned about Bear, at all. She went right up to him and wagged back. The others did OK. Joey allowed him to be close, but was happy when I let him back in the house. Lola was about the same; I could almost hear her whining "Stranger danger!" Sam just kept walking to keep a little distance but didn't freak. I didn't let Max out; my jealous boy would not have done well.

As I said at the beginning, No snowflake ever falls in the wrong place. Bear knew where to come.

2011-10-30T11:05:00.002-06:00

Isn't this wonderful?

Video from KarmaTube

I'm being courted. Well, sorta.

2011-10-27T20:41:00.000-06:00

I'm having more frequent visits with my buddy, Fibro Myalgia. They are not serious ones, but they are certainly more frequent. Yesterday I felt as if I were half functioning most of the day. When I had a specific thing to do, I did well; for instance I had two interviews, and I had no trouble focusing on the person across from at any given time. But then when I turned to my desk, I couldn't put my head to work on the matters at hand. My desk is usually cluttered as I have several things going at once. While waiting for a call back on one task, I turn to another to fill the time, etc. Yesterday, the stack of four projects completely overwhelmed me. Then, when I tried to organize it and move stacks aside to unclutter my mind/focus, I couldn't string enough thoughts together to separate the papers!

I finally decided around 1:30 to go home. I was being ineffectual anyway, so why stay there? I went out the door, locking the door behind me, and reached for the key to lock the deadbolt. The keys were not in my purse! I also could not get into my truck because they were together. After a few minutes I remembered leaving them in the truck. It's a long story, and I won't bore you, but boy, did I feel dumb!

I borrowed a key from a coworker in another building so I could wait in my office while AAA came to my rescue. The rescue took nearly another hour, so while I waited, I managed to focus on one task that didn't require me to change my concentration, so it was a productive time. I ended up leaving only about 30 minutes before my usual 3:00!

Someone asked me about the safety of my driving, and I told them that when I feel this way, I sit for a few moments before hitting the road to allow myself to bring all my attention to the task at hand, concentrating on driving and only driving. Frankly, because of that pointed attention, my driving is possibly better than usual.

On the way home I stopped at a shop that makes some delicious soups and brought home several cups of warm comfort. I changed into snuggy soft clothes, spent the afternoon reading on the couch with my doggies snuggled around me, drinking warm tea and soup. It began raining shortly after I was home, and I loved hearing the pitter-patter, knowing the ground was greedily sucking up the moisture.

At about 8:30 I decided to go to bed and read, and I was asleep before 9:00! Zonked, out like a light! If I had not set my alarm for 6:00, I would probably have slept another hour or more, too! Fortunately I woke feeling very well this morning. Weird stuff, this FMS. Comes and goes like it owns me! Oh, yeah .... I guess it does.

I woke this morning to this ....

Yep, that rain turned to snow! I had to start the truck and let the defroster help me, because the rain had frozen under the snow, and it was really, really frozen! All the snow is gone now, melted during the day, as is fairly normal for this area.

And that weather change probably contributed to my fibro. I am so sensitive to the barometric changes. Thank goodness I'm feeling pretty normal today.

On the way home from work, I was pretty enchanted with the fog. The melting snow created a significant cover .....

Here is what roughly the same area looked like two days ago.....

Sorry for the glare; I took this through the windshield.

This is a picture taken as I neared my house this evening. See the sky way off there? Blue skies to the east, despite the clouds and fog here.

OK, I need to stretch out and read for a while. Before I go, I have to show you Lolita the Vamp.

Just look at this little hussy with hair vamping over one eye! tsk, tsk! Shameless!

Later, y'all!

Stieg Larsson Trilogy .... at last!

2011-10-23T11:27:00.002-06:00

A long while ago I bought the Stieg Larsson Millennium trilogy. They’ve been sitting in my Kindle, unread because they sorta got lost in the 1000+ books there. On my flight to Colorado, I decided it was time to read them.

I read the first, The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo, on the trip, finishing it the weekend after I got home. I loved it, of course! A few days later I began the second, The Girl Who Played With Fire. I was 2/3 through it, and last night decided to finish it. I was reading voraciously and was nearly finished. I had decided to stay up until I completed it, but around 11:00, I dropped off to sleep several times, and knew that I needed to let the last couple chapters wait until this morning. After all, it was going to be Sunday, and what better thing to do but stay in bed with my carafe of coffee and a couple of ginger crisps, to complete the good read.

Side note: I had planned to go to spiritual services today, but a little mishap last night told me I was not going to do so. More on that in a bit. And TL, quit stewing, it was just a little thing.

This morning, I woke after sleeping till almost 8:00 (yippee!), made my coffee, and crawled back in bed with the pups, the coffee mug and carafe, and the Kindle. I read just a few paragraphs and was shocked into complete awakeness! (I know that’s not a real word, buzz off!)

I had figured out several of the twists and turns in the plot, who some of the characters were and their places in the scheme of the book, a few of the whodunnits, but not THAT!! If I’d stayed awake long enough to read the net few paragraphs, I would have been awake to finish the book last night, because I would have been immediately wide awake!! So THAT’S how he figured in the story!!! OMG!!

I’m not saying more, because if you haven’t read the book, I don’t want to take away your right to have the same Holy-Toledo-moment! WOW!! If you’ve read it, you know what I’m talking about, right?

I'm starting the third and, sadly, final book as soon as I sign off here. I can't wait, 'cause I'm kinda left dangling and very hungry!

Now, about the mishap; a bit hard to explain, but here goes ....
Last night I was playing with the dogs, a bit of scuffling on the floor. We were having a good time, I was throwing toys for them to chase and playing keep-away, too. At one point Max got a bit huffy. He hasn’t figured out the game of fetch and doesn’t play with toys, and that only adds to his frustration over the games I play with the others. When I do this I try to also play with him by rolling him end over end, catching his tail for a moment, as well as petting him a lot. He is SO jealous of the other, especially the boys, Sam and Joey.

I’m not exactly sure what happened. I think as I was holding a toy over Joey’s head, he stood on his hind legs trying to reach it, and when he lost balance, came down on Max. At any rate, Max tore into Joe, and I think as I drew my hand down, it was between the two boys. It was so fast, that is just my best guess. Max bit my wrist. I assume my own movement caused a “slashing” action, and there are several “cuts” on the top of my wrist. It’s not deep, but deep enough to bleed profusely for a few minutes. And it hurt like a sumbich!! There were definitely some bruising of muscles thrown in for good measure!

I cleaned the gashes and medicated them, then wrapped gauze around the wrist to keep the blood and medication contained. I hated to go into public this morning wearing a bandage that looks like I slashed my wrist last night!

I took some arthritis-strength Tylenol to ease the pain last night, probably one factor to falling asleep so early. This morning, there is some muscle soreness, but I can see that there is no serious damage. It’s sore, but that will subside soon. In fact, it is already much better than when I woke this morning.

I’d show you a picture of the gore (LOL!) but I’ve already rebandaged it, and I’m not going to undo it. No, it’s not gory, but just three or four nicks in my skin and one about 3/4” long. As I said, deep enough to bleed well, but that’s about it.

My life. Aren’t you jealous???

BWAAA ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!

Fall is here, fer sher

2011-10-18T20:32:00.001-06:00

There was frost on the pumpkin this morning. Well, there was frost on the big blue truck, anyway. It is starting to look like Winter, or at least, like serious Fall. The air smells awesome, that crisp Autumny smell. Mmmmmm.

I'm enjoying a cup of chai latte, sweet and creamy, along with some ginger crisps that I got at IKEA in Denver last week. Perfect for a fall evening while I'm tucked in with The Kids. This is one of the things I like about cooler weather, having a relaxing hot drink while I watch TV. Having a hot drink in the evening when the weather is hot just doesn't appeal to me.

The Kids - they are all doing well. The biggest and best news is this .... After I was back from my trip I got busy "fixing" the presumed escape path for Missy Jazmyn Jewel Houdini. I did a lot of thinking about this, and I finally came to the conclusion that she HAD to be climbing over the protective rabbit wire I had put up (remember the "whew" I sighed when I put it up because it was going to solve everything???).

Here is what it looks like ........

See the gap between the rabbit wire and the top railing? My theory is that Girlfriend was climbing up the wire, then hopping out through that gap to the ramp below it.

This is how I fixed it. I couldn't see how she could climb up and still manage to go over the rail (she would have to stretch up almost her full body length AND lean backward by about an inch; just didn't seem plausible for her to do so) nor would she have the strength and agility to rip and tear at the chicken wire while her paws are hanging onto the rabbit wire.

On Sunday I was leaving the house for about four hours in the morning and early afternoon. It seemed like the perfect time to test the fix. Daylight is much safer for her if she did manage to escape. So off I went. When I returned, to my enormous relief, GF was still on the deck!

Yesterday we gave it another try while I worked (8:30 to 2:30), and HUZZAH!!!! She was on the deck when I came home!!

Today was my day to work from 1:00 to 7:00. More scary, because it meant that if she ferreted a way out, she could be out in Coyote Country in the twilight. But I braved it, and once again, five dogs in the safety zone upon my return!! Hurray, Huzzah and Yippee-Skippee!!!! I believe (knock, knock, knock on wood) that we have achieved the goal. Once again I utter the scary word .... whew.

Speaking of IKEA, that was an experience. I'd not been to an IKEA store. Lawdy mercy, we walked and walked and walked, and it often felt as if we were simply walking in circles. Even with a map and directional signs everywhere, we often did loop ourselves. That wouldn't have been bad, except for the fact that the furniture styles don't appeal to any of the three of us. However, I could go back and spent a couple hours in the kitchen area. I love, love, love looking at plates and silverware and pots and pans and kitchen doo-dads and glasses and cups and cooking utensils and coffee/tea makers and .... well, you get the idea. That is my nirvana!

I bought a French coffee press. I have a great coffee maker that grinds the beans and makes the coffee, but my dilemma is that if I make a full pot (8-10 cups) I drink it all, not a good thing. If I make a small pot 4-5 cups, it doesn't taste as good. I know, I know. It is probably in my head but that's how I feel. The French press makes four cups! It's actually about 2.5 mugs of coffee, perfect for my morning jump-start, and the java is very good. I'm happy.

And if you go to IKEA, be sure to get a box of the ginger crisps. They are the best I've ever tasted, and several who have tried them agree. Yummy!!

I'll tell more about the second part of my trip soon. It was not as exciting, but I have some nice picture to share. I haven't uploaded them to a viewer yet, but I will soon.

Later!

My trip

2011-10-12T11:51:00.000-06:00

I'm about halfway through the trip. Time to report in, right?

The trip here was uneventful, but loooong. I drove three hours to Albuquerque, waited almost two hours, then flew about 1.5 hours to Salt Lake City. After a half-hour or so on the ground, there was another 1.5 hour flight to Denver. Caroline and Dede were there to pick me up, and we claimed my bag, then drove to dinner at Elways. OK, hard for a die-hard KC Chiefs fan to admit, but the food was very good! We had a calamari appetizer, then I had Alaskan halibut. It was excellent! I also had a couple glasses of wine, and the two hour drive to their house just about put me to sleep. I didn't sleep, however, because we talked the whole way!

Saturday was the day for setting up Dede's computer network. It was disconnected when her house was painted, and she admits that her knowledge of computers basically stops at the keyboard. So Caroline and I crawled around on the floor, untangled cables and cords, matched cables and cords to machines, relocated some of them, and finally got it all hooked up again. Now she can use her printers, scanners, and the iMac desktop once again. Whew!

While doing all of this, I sipped on my coffee. I had several cups, and as we neared the end of the reconstruction, I began to feel light-headed and as if my body was racing. I decided I'd had too much caffeine and should quit and rest a while. But over the next few minutes, it kept getting worse, and it was now accompanied by some nausea. All this was coming and going in waves, increasing in intensity, and I was beginning to feel awful! And Caroline said, "You're having altitude sickness!" She went through the very same thing, sans the coffee when she first moved here, and she knew exactly what those symptoms meant!

Lucky for me, they have an oxygen concentrator as Dede has some sleep apnea, so they found an unused cannula and got me on oxygen right away. In about thirty minutes, I was feeling much better! I stayed on the O2 for the next 24 hours+, and after that I was alright. Weird! I've been at high altitude before, I live in high altitude, so I didn't expect any adjustment problems. Well, I shouldn't have been so casual about it! It's all good now, but it was definitely an experience!

Sunday Caroline took me for a tour of the area. that's where the pictures in the previous post came from. It was a nice ride, and I was stirred with memories of living just about 60 miles south of there in Salida when I was in 2nd and 3rd grade. We had a nice ride, got lots of beautiful pictures, had a yummy lunch of gyros, and returned to the house where Dede had been busy preparing our dinner, turkey and trimmings! We decided that since it was the weekend for the Canadian Thanksgiving, we were honoring our northern neighbors with the meal!

On Monday we got up and were out of the house rather early, so we could scoot down the mountain to Denver. Saw more pretty scenery on the road.

Once we got to Denver, our first stop was here ....

Here I bought some ginger crisps, very thin ginger snaps that are the best I've even tasted. A coworker brought some back just before I came on this trip, and I fell in love! I immediately sent a text to Caroline saying I "needed" to go to IKEA! I also bought a French coffee press, something I've wanted for a while.

IKEA is interesting. The furniture leaves me completely cold. Absolutely not my style. But the department with kitchen things rocks! I could spend a couple hours looking at those things, drooling, and making a wish list as long as my arm!

Next we were off for lunch. Caroline has been wanting to go to Casa Bonita for a long time and today was the day. I was there around 35 years ago when my kids were small, and it was fun. As I recalled the food was decent, and the entertainment fun. the whole interior of the restaurant was done to fascinate kids .... OK, and adults found it entertaining, too!

It was not the same experience this go-round. It is rundown to a degree, the food was merely passable (and the margarita I ordered was the absolute worst I've ever had; I sent it back), the entertainment was very hokey and the better parts were limited (the "Acapulco style diver" made just 2 dives!) It was disappointing. Caroline said she is glad she finally got to see it, but she won't return. Yep.

We took time before leaving to visit Black Bart's Den.

I took some photos of the "entertainment" and the decor inside the restaurant, but the lighting was horrible and nothing turned out. Sorry. But here is one that turned out well ....

Caroline and me!

Caroline and Dede drove me to my brother's house which is northeast of Denver, in the flatlands. I'll fill you in on that in another post.

Later, gators!

Leadville, etc.

2011-10-09T16:49:00.000-06:00

Beautiful Colorado ......

We took a little scenic drive this morning, and you get to enjoy the fruits of my "labor."

Isn't life beautiful??

Are you missing post updates?

2011-10-05T21:53:00.002-06:00

Several people have commented that they are not seeing my blog posts showing up in their blog rolls. I found that I was having the same trouble, and I tried something which seems to have worked. If you want to try a simple procedure, here it is.

I went to my blog roll, clicked on the blog name which was not showing up in the automatic blog roll. That showed me all the posts from that particular blog. Then I "refreshed" the page, clicked on "All Blogs" which shows all the recent posts in chronological order, and the posts from the "missing" blog are now showing up in my blog roll.

Now if I just knew which others I'm missing!!

Storms, stress and calm, all rolled ito one

2011-10-04T19:53:00.001-06:00

We're having a stormy night here. It has been overcast and drizzly off and on all day, with a few short periods of rain. In fact, when I ran an errand around 4:00, the sky was all covered except for this one little spot of blue. See the little patch just above the tree branches?

Then around 5:00, it broke loose! I was still at work, as this is my late night, and it poured! I could barely see across the parking lot, which is very small, holding just 10-12 cars. I'm guessing visibility was about 25 feet for a while. Unbelievable!

No one showed up for my group, and with the rain continuing steadily, although not as blinding as I described above, I knew why. I left early, and as I was driving home, I was captivated by the fog in the valleys between peaks.

There are mountains behind those clouds/fog.

This is extremely blurry, but you can see how low and thick the clouds are.

This shot is close to home. There is fog in almost every valley. It was so pretty!

Kind of a long range picture. There is another ridge of mountains behind that bank of clouds.

I'm almost home. That is my roof between the two power lines.

Since I got home, it hasn't rained very hard, but it has been pretty steady. I'm very glad it is; the pines are stressed, especially the gorgeous Ponderosa pines. We've had rain off and on for the last couple months. Some of it has been hard and did a lot of good, but there was too much damage caused by the drought. We need more. So, yes, it is good to be having this good soaking rain. I'm enjoying the pitter-patter and the occasional thunder, with a cup of tea and my pups.

Even Jazi seems to be less worried about the thunder than usual. When I got home, she was glad to see me, but wasn't a quivering bowl of Jell-o like usual. Maybe she's getting over her fear? Well, I'm not holding my breath, but I'm hoping so.

I have SO much to do before I leave on Friday. I will get it done, but the thought of it all is not fun. It doesn't help when I do things that cause myself extra work. I had to go to the bank to get a replacement debit card this morning, and the 45 minutes or so could have been used otherwise. A few days ago I got a new credit card, so I activated it, then took the old one to the shredder. I didn't realize for several days that what I shredded was not the old credit card, but my ATM card! Duh! Oh, well, I'll get to Albuquerque, on the plan and to Denver some way or another, and it will all be good!

Then another hitch in my time .... this morning I had to replace several batteries in devices around the house. Some shouldn't have needed it, as they were replaced not that long ago, but they did. A friend at work told me there was a huge solar flare, and that could have done it. Whatever, it took me about an hour to replace all of them. Good grief!

I'm feeling very peaceful tonight. Thank goodness! And I've decided to take advantage of the calm in my heart to chill for a while. The packing and cleaning will get done. Or not!!

My life

2011-10-02T21:03:00.000-06:00

I must have lost my mind. Seriously. I'm going on a trip to visit Caroline, and this is the weather where she lives ....

Pay particular attention to the 7th through the 10th. That's when I'll be at her house. Correct that statement. That's when I'll be IN her house!!!

Holy shilosky, Batman!!!

I've said before that I like cold weather, but I'm not quite ready for it to be that cold! I'd like to ease into winter, please! Caroline, you'd better get the fact that I love you!!

Last week ~~Little Snot~~ Jazmyn got out again. I came home once more to find her sitting in the ditch out front waiting for me. I was totally dismayed, because this meant she was now getting out of the back yard, the last bastion of security. I got her into the truck and drove up the driveway to the house. That's when I saw that all three of the boys on the deck, a place that it was impossible to be, due to the major security I've put on the front dog door! And I said out loud, "WTF????" Well, I said the words, not the letters.

When I got to the deck, I discovered the screen on the window from the living room to the deck had been popped out. Clearly the determined, formidable and totally exasperating Miss ~~Houdini~~ Jazi had put her tiny but mighty little body to work and got'er done. She is determined, crafty, exasperating .... and totally loved, in spite of my yammering.

The good part of this is that I can easily lower the windows to the lowest notch, and she can't escape. Thank goodness this happened late in the year when the weather has cooled enough that the house won't overheat. I lower the blinds on the west side of the house to block the sun, and it remains very comfortable in the house. The bad part is that with me going out of town and leaving the pups with the sitter, I'm going to have a degree of unease while I'm gone. Dang it. I'll be having a very serious talk with the sitter tomorrow or Tuesday. We already talked briefly at a social event on Thursday, but we will cover it in serious, eye-to-eye, swear-on-the-Bible kind of way.

I had a little scare with the furnace this morning. No, not that kind of scare, no gas escaping, but a scare that seemed to have dollar signs all over it. When I bumped up the heat early this morning so I could stand to disrobe and hop in the shower, it didn't come on. I checked it and the pilot light was out. I got all the necessary things to relight it and got on the floor. Now understand .... this thing is a booger to light. When I put the match in the hole, the drafts inside tend to blow out the match about four out of five times. It's a royal pain in the butt. After several tries I got it lit. Hurray!!

But then the furnace wouldn't come on. I turned the thermostat to 85° and nothing happened. I was distraught! I'm getting ready to go out of town, and I could hardly leave the sitter here with a non-working furnace. Even if he said he didn't need it, a totally possible thing, I would want it checked for safety before going. The thought of what a repair or, god forbid, a replacement would cost, and especially the timing, had my stomach in a twist.

I sat for several minutes, considering what to do. Then I went back to the furnace and checked it again. The pilot light was still on. As I sat on the floor staring at it, I noticed that I had forgotten the final step .... I didn't move the lever from "Pilot" back to "On." As simple as that!! I switched it, waited about four seconds and heard "whoosh" as the burners ignited!! Woohoooooooo!!!!!! Saved at the flippin' 11th hour!!!

I live such a crazy life. Not much in it is earth-shattering, but it is often unpredictable and .... exciting. I could do with less, uhmmm, excitement, to be honest. I really could.

Really.

I'm a little bit back

2011-09-28T16:59:00.001-06:00

Here is a wee small post. I doubt it will be long, 'cause I'm still "recovering" from my anti-electronic-media hiatus.

A bit of an explanation .... over the past couple months, it has seemed that my communication was a mess. I was having difficulty in several areas (work, friends), and try as I might, I couldn't figure out what was wrong. I was being misunderstood and frankly attacked in some areas, and nothing I did to try to set things right worked. It was difficult for me, because communication has always been a strength with me. I'm not perfect, and I've miscommunicated my fair share, but generally speaking, my skills are high level. I was really frustrated, spending hours going over emails and analyzing the syntax and context, reviewing verbal conversations as well as I could, looking for my errors.

I finally got to the point of saying to myself, "It might not be the rest of the world; It just might be ME." I used to say that to my husband when he was difficult; I guess it has come back to bite me! Seriously, when it seems that I am the one with misunderstandings in several arenas of my life, I am the obvious common denominator. But several people I turned to to help sort this out couldn't see the problem, either. I couldn't figure it out. I still can't.

I couldn't blame Mercury in retrograde this time, because although most of it became a problem around the time in July and August when he was coming into the stage, it all lasted loooong past. I will probably never know what was going on. I just have to rest my faith on the words of the few confidants who read and also heard my verbal communications and assured me that I wasn't obtuse or unclear.

The good news is that most of the problems areas have resolved or at least greatly improved. However, I was at the end of my rope and just couldn't deal with "the rest of the world," thus my sabbatical.

I've also been dealing with my emotional junk exacerbated by this. When things are not right in my life, I have no one to come home and talk it over. Yes, I have friends and family who are probably thinking, "I would listen," but the truth of the matter is that we all need that special someone who is present to hug or touch, someone who is on our side, even if we are wrong. I just don't have that. I'm not willing to "settle" for less than the right person, so I just have a big gaping hole in that zone of my being. Someday, maybe, but not now.

There is something about not having that "up close and personal" cheerleader that limits our ability to resolve things. I miss that.

So anyway, I'm back, sorta-kinda. I don't know how often I will post here, but I'm sure I'll be more active before much longer. Sigh. Life is challenging at times, isn't it? As I tell others, the challenging times are the ones that make us grow and blossom. Guess I should listen to my own words!

C'mon, growth and blossoming! I'm ready to be all that I can be .... without challenge, of course!! LOL!

~ ~ ~ ~

Note added:

Isn't it amazing sometimes how things happen?

I just had an amazing, hour long conversation from a dear and respected colleague from "a different life," who called for my opinion, advice, and supervision about a tough situation. Talk about affirmation! Perhaps I'm not crazy! :)

2011-09-25T15:10:00.001-06:00

Hey, all, I'm feeling a bit more human, but I'm still going to take a few more days away from here and FB. Thanks for the good thoughts!

See ya later!

2011-09-22T20:12:00.001-06:00

I think I'm going to take a break. I'm feeling overwhelmed with several things, and I just need to put some space around me. Don't know how long.

Peace to all.

Nice evening

2011-09-19T21:34:00.002-06:00

The singles group got together tonight for a dinner. I am really enjoying being part of this group. We ate and talked for a couple hours. The food was really good, and I enjoyed the conversation a great deal. These are mostly bright, articulate people, some are deep enough thinkers to make conversations interesting, and while I don't agree with everything everyone says, no one is making un-thought-through rants. Even the occasional political discussions are rational and calm, so the content is interesting and informative, not-in-your-face arguments. Wow, that is pleasant! I dislike hostile discourses about anything. I live in a county where the majority of opinions are largely different from my own views, so having this kind of opportunity is very exciting and pleasant for me.

We were able to eat on the deck, as the evening was very mild. By the time we finished dinner, the air was cooling off a bit, I'd guess it was probably about 65-68. It was still pleasant but it was tie to move in. Even I, who prefers the cooler weather, was feeling the coolness. But it was a pleasant, soft fall evening before we migrated.

After dinner, we played a game. Have you played "Buzz Word"? I had not played it before, and it was a lot of fun! It turns out I was very good at it, and that always makes a game a lot more fun, doesn't it? Anyway, it was a very good time, full of considerable joking around and silliness. I really haven't laughed so much in a long time.

Something that is very appealing to me about the group is that it seems everyone is there honestly for friendship, rather than looking for a "dates." I guess there was one couple who dated a while then broke up. Neither has been there since I've been going, but apparently, they are each out of town and plan to come back. It's just nice to be able to be friends, without worrying about being misunderstood. Lots of good friends, both male and female .... exactly what I wanted.

Well, I'm going to kick back a while with The Kids before time for bed. I've been away from them much of today, and I think some mom/pup time is in order. :)

And here's Lyn's side of it ....

2011-09-17T09:00:00.002-06:00

Well, Jazmyn had her say about yesterday. Here's my story.

Yes, I took her to work to be sure she was safe after her latest escape.

Jaz was amazing at work. She simply sat or laid at my feet, mostly dozing through the day. When someone came in the door of the building, she greeted them, and returned to my office. My office is right inside the door. Some days, I'm the only person in my building most of the day. There is one other that is is perhaps two days a week, and three others that are in just an hour or two. It is a very quiet environment, and that worked well for having Jaz there. I had a couple visitors dropping by, and Jazi was the perfect greeter-dog, welcoming them in with a wag and a grin (doggy gins, tongue out and eyes bright). One of my building-mates came in for a couple hours, and Jaz followed her to her office and sat under her desk for a while.

I walked to the other building several times through the day. Jazi just trotted along with me, pretty much at a heel. Twice she veered off the path to potty, otherwise her only sidetracks were to smell pine cones or wildflowers or rocks(?). And while we were at that building, she was well behaved, saying hello to everyone, only occasionally needing to be redirected to stay with me.

She would be the perfect "go to work" dog, and would probably be an excellent therapy dog, as well. However, I can't take her every day. On occasion, yes, but not daily.

When we came home, I stopped at the little store. I didn't feel like cooking, and I was hoping the owner had something comforting to bring home. (She does lots of baking, but her schedule is irregular, and she doesn't do much at a time to avoid waste, so sometimes she is out of everything near the end of the day.) I was elated to learn she had just made a couple chicken pot pies! These are regular 8" pies, so I'll get several meals out of it. And it was exactly what the doctor ordered for me last night!

While we were there, a group of bikers stopped and came in the store. The annual Aspen Fest Bike rally is this weekend, so there are thousands of motorcycles in Ruidoso. Everywhere you go in the county, there are bikes on the roads. Well apparently this group had tasted Dorrie's pies before and they stopped to get one. However they wanted pecan or apple, and she had none. She promised to make several for tomorrow, and they said they'd be back for one of each.

As this is going on, Jazi is running around the booted feet of these huge bikers (why is is most bikers are BIG dudes?). A couple had reached down and petted her. One guy just watched her run around with a puzzled look on his face. He saw me watching him, and he said, "Lots of little dogs are freaked by this many big people around." I said Jaz never met a stranger with two legs, although she might take on a four-legger much bigger than she. He said dogs reflect their owners' attitudes, so he guessed I was OK, too! LOL! I told him I've learned that many bikers are retired or near-retired bankers and doctors and lawyers and accountants, and few are to be feared. He grinned and said "Yes, ma'am, but we like to pretend we're tough."

Upon arriving home, we could barely get in the gate because of her siblings clamoring around her to sniff the smells she brought home! In fact, not one of them greeted me! They all followed her around for a good five minutes, and you could almost see in her face that she was saying, "I got to go to work with Momma, ha ha ha!!!"

And she was as tired when we got home as you could imagine! Those pictures of her in the previous post .... yep, that's how she spent most of the evening, whether in that chair, on my lap or beside me on the couch!

Today I will begin searching for the place she escaped, although I'm very uncertain I'll find it. Two quick walks around the perimeter gave me absolutely nothing. Hopefully slow, rattle-the-chain exam will be more revealing. Wish me luck.

Jazi says ....

2011-09-16T21:04:00.001-06:00

Today was a hard day. It wore me out!

I went to work with Mom.

Making sure Mom did her job right was just exhausting!

I need to rest now. Go home.

Good news/bad news

2011-09-16T06:57:00.000-06:00

The good new is .... I'm feeling a lot better. Not completely out of the woods yet, but much better than in my last post. The fog in my head is only light now and comes and goes. The pain has minimized to a tolerable level. All in all, I'm enough better to be fully functional, and reasonably comfortable.

Now for the bad news .... Jazmyn has found another way to escape the confines of the house and yard .... again. After leaving work I made a couple stops on the way home, and upon arrival, there were just four dogs on the deck. To make it worse, the weather was not good. It was raining pretty steadily. There had been an inch of rain, probably in the last 2-3 hours, and there was pea-sized sleet/hail on the ground, enough to nearly cover the ground and to pile in small drifts a couple inches deep in places.

As I carried groceries in and stuck the frozen things in the freezer, I whistled for her as I went up and down the steps. On my third and final trip, she came running up the driveway soaked to her skin and muddy. When I picked her up, she was shivering. It wasn't really cold, probably around 60°, but being that wet will do it. I suspect some of the shivering was from fear, too, because there had been some thunder in the hour that preceded.

It had rained enough that the back yard was muddy and had standing puddles, so I did only a cursory check of the fence, but saw nothing. A fairly thorough exam of the deck held no clues to her escape path. Once again I'm flummoxed.

I gave her a warm bath to soothe her and get rid of the mud. When I took her collar off, here is what I found.

Looks like her escape was very tight. The spring ring that holds her tags was torn almost open, about half the ring was unwound. She is one strong little dog, because I couldn't bend it with my fingers. She was very determined to get out! Now another scary thought for me .... she could have hung herself on that collar! Not knowing if she pushed through a tight space or climbed over something, well, I'm afraid to think about it! But I have to, because I have to find and remedy the loop-hole.

Here we go again. And trust me, that is said with no glimmer of glee, but just a heavy sense of dread. For today, there are possible thunderstorms, and I will take her to work with me. I will try to remedy this over the weekend, then play it by ear. I may have to crate her for safety. sigh. I think I've said this before .... It's a good thing I really, really love this little dog, cause she's a pain in the tush some times!

Icky day

2011-09-14T21:02:00.000-06:00

Today was a stinko day. I was in a fibro-fog from the get-go. I just couldn't seem to move as fast as I needed to. But I've been through enough of these sieges that I know the only choice is to change my own expectations and slow my pace, cause the ol' body ain't a-gonna do anything else.

The day was very challenging. Mentally, I was slow as molasses. I would look at something and know I needed to look at a file in the computer, but by the time I placed my hands on the keyboard, I'd forgotten what I was looking up. That happened not just once, but about 30 times, at least. I just couldn't keep my thoughts together more than a couple seconds.

Physically was, if possible, even worse. The muscles in the back of my legs, all the way from my ankles to my buttocks were having spasms. It felt like someone was grabbing them and squeezing them, stretching them and almost shredding them with every step I took. Geez, it was miserable.

I was walking to the other building today and had a start. There is a little lizard that scurries in front of me several times a day when I make that walk. I've become used to seeing him, as he seems to be defying death under a huge foot! But today as I walked down the gravel path, just as I stepped down one of the terraced steps, a snake slithered out of my way! GAH!! I detest snakes! It was a small, harmless one, but I got the shivers, nonetheless!

By the end of my day, I was really looking forward to putting on some sweats, getting some herbal tea (a special mix for FMS), and snuggling on the couch with the pups. I was even thinking how good a nap would be. I changed into sweats, but before I could go farther with those steps toward comfort, I started to put my cell on the charger .... only to find it was not in my purse. I checked here in the house and in the truck, no luck. I called a coworker who lives in my direction and asked her to look on my desk for it. Then I asked if she would bring it to a intersection on her way so I didn't have to go back for it. She couldn't find it!

I was about to call Verizon to report it lost, and I cleared my head as well as possible. Then I drove the 17-18 miles one way back to work to look for the phone. Why? Why did I not just wait for tomorrow? Because if I happened to drop it outside, the rains would ruin it. By this time most if not all coworkers would be gone from the office, so no one to check for me. sigh.

There were some thunderstorms not far away, so I scooped up Jazi, my little thunderstruck baby and took her with me. She loved going for the ride! Of course, the other four were glaring at me from the deck! I couldn't sort out who else to take, knowing I definitely couldn't take Max who gets carsick, so I just took Jaz.

When I got to the office, there was my phone on my desk! I know now she was probably looking for a "cell phone" not a "smart phone." I didn't think to tell her it was different.

I'm glad to be home and to have completed the rest of that comfort routine. I'm almost ready to go to bed. I'm going to take a pain pill. Something I rarely do. But I need sleep.

Night.

Woe is me ... yeah, a feeling-sorry-for-me-and-getting-better post

2011-09-13T09:21:00.000-06:00

My last few weeks have been less than fun. Work, which I really do love, became very stressful, and I was reaching the point of not wanting to go in every day. It's a long story, and I won't bore you with details, but suffice it to say that I'm just glad it is over.

A light overview .... There were two situations going on which were rough. One didn't involve me directly, but the ripples impacted on everyone in the office. It was ongoing for about three weeks, had everyone on edge because of the unprofessional actions of one person. This was punctuated with the death of a coworker.

Fortunately, that seems to be healing now with the absence (permanent) of that person, and general balance appears to be coming into the workplace again. There will still need to be some healing time for those closer to the core of all that, but hopefully it will come.

The second situation absolutely included me. I was under attack by one person who had called into question my professional decisions and actions, and who has chipped away like an ice carver with making a statue out of an iceberg! It was over petty things, but she hammered and hammered on them until I thought my head would explode. My decisions and actions were sanctioned by the administrator, but even that didn't resolve the issues. No solution passed muster with her. And of course, she did all this with the sweetest smile on her face and an "I just don't understand" about everything.

I have an open door policy. I invite anyone to talk with me about differences, things not understood, suggestions, etc. Repeated offers to sit down and work it out were ignored, but more than once a blind-side attack occurred, including mentions of how "others" felt about my method of leadership. Those "others" were never named; hinted at issues were never clearly voiced. I felt that I was fighting against an unknown, and indeed I was.

I do things differently than my predecessor. But I've been careful to stay within appropriate guidelines. I've been a Social Worker too long to not recognize that change is difficult for some folks. It's damn near impossible for a few! But I am who I am, and while I try to be a true "team player," my style is to simplify, streamline, and remove as many stumbling blocks as possible. In doing that, I cause change, and even if it is simpler, some will push against it.

I frequently doubted myself during the past few weeks. Seriously, it became that strong. Coworkers and the administrator assured me that I was doing right, doing well, but you know how the chipping away can be. It undermines even the most capable after a period of time.

Today, it ended. Or I think and hope so. The administrator came to the meeting to sit in, to listen, to answer questions, and ultimately to say this is the end.The meeting ended on a high note, with the administrator and me talking about this putting misunderstandings and confusion behind us and looking forward to updating our guidelines as discussed (we found several outdated items in the policies and procedures). And when my antagonist raised (for the umpteenth time) her "concerns," I was able to point out that the issue had already been discussed and resolved.

Would you believe this person is a volunteer? I work hard to make volunteers feel appreciated and valued, treated professionally, etc. This was very difficult for me. I've felt she didn't like me; I learned in the last couple weeks that she was strongly attached to the previous coordinator, so it would make sense. Anyway, I'm so glad to have the administrator's support and the support of the rest of the volunteers. Well, a couple others are debatable, but they at least voiced support. I hope it will turn around now that the "questions" are answered.

Throughout this, I have been dealing with the worst siege of fibromyalgia (FMS) I've had in several years. It hasn't been enough to take me to bed, but certainly has been a constant discomfort. Of course, this makes sense .... a major trigger for FMS is stress!! I was having some active FMS symptoms before all this arose, but it exacerbated the pain many times over. I'm hoping that the release of stress will also function as a release for FMS symptoms. I'm already better; I would say my discomfort is at a moderate to light-moderate level, meaning it is pretty constant but light enough to be relatively unnoticeable while my mind is occupied.

I was just thinking about the past few months. It is mind boggling.

My year in review ...

Jan - new job; two daughters in marital distress and would be over the next few months
Feb - extreme cold spell and ice storm
March - water heater leak destroyed my carpet, my house was in a mess until May
April - stepson moved away; I disassembled my office so he could take a few pieces of furniture with him.
May - mixture of things, preparing for trip to Mexico
June - The big trip, a good thing, but also stressful; the deck roof blew off, then back on, many repairs and fixes ensued
July - I spent the whole month trying to secure Jazi for her own safety (remember, she was a wee Houdini, escaping the confines of the yard for several weeks); we were in the throes of a drought and horrible heat spell, and I was exhausted
August - the above conflicts began at work; I finally began to organize the tubs of office supplies and arts & crafts that resulted from disassembling my home office.

No wonder fibro is kicking my arse!!

Onward and upward now. [relieved sigh]

Random and odd

2011-09-10T15:58:00.004-06:00

Random stuff ....

A while ago Jazmyn was scratching at the toy box, and I couldn't figure out what she was after. It is tucked under a drop leaf table. I went over and moved it out a little to see what she wanted to pull out of it. Well, she didn't want anything out of it; she wanted herself in it! She crawled in and sat down like she owned it. I have no idea what that was about, nor why she didn't crawl in it before I pulled it out. Silly little dog!

I walked away, and a few minutes later, I heard the very soft growling of two dogs. that usually mean Max and Sam are fronting, but it wasn't their "voices." Jazi and Lola were having .... a "growl off," I guess! They weren't very serious about it, but were rumbling at each other. If you look at the first picture, you'll see Jazi's mouth is slightly open, emitting the quiet "I am the Queen" noise!!

Jaz seems to prefer I'd go away!

And a few minutes later, Lola was completely conked out ! If you notice she took two of the toys from the toy box with her. Silly girl! She sleeps like this a lot .... her feet up against something and her upper body twisted to one side. It looks uncomfortable to me, but I'm not a dog. I can't argue it!

A couple days ago I walked into the thrift shop to do my volunteer stint, and this item was there on a table. I couldn't tell if it went this way .....

Or that way .....

Because of the two screws in the base, I figured it went like this.

I have no idea what it is supposed to be for, or to do, but I liked it. I brought it home and screwed it into the wall, so I can use it like this .....

Here's a close up of it.

It's not signed, but I'm pretty sure from the style that it is a piece from a local wood artist that I really like for his quirkiness and fun ideas. I can't afford many things of his, but I really, really like it! So obviously I aid the .... get ready .... $1 for it!! Whoever priced it, probably didn't know what it was or who made it! So I got a swinging deal!! And I'll admit, I titll don't know what it was, but I know what it is now!!

Here is another piece of his I picked up at the thrift shop. It's a toothpick holder. After bringing it home, I'm guessing the person who donated it, did so because it was a pain to load! It took me a good 20 minutes to put those toothpicks in!

The thing is, it was worth it to me, and I enjoy it as functional art.

The artist is Mike Lagg. Most of the art by Mike is functional. He does decorative pieces, too, but the bulk of his work has purpose. I like that. If you'd like to see a few of his pieces, take a look at this. The paintings are by his girlfriend, Paula, who you will see in the video, too. All the wood pieces are Mike's. You don't see Mike, but you'll see his work, some frivolous and some gorgeous masterpieces. I love the shutters!

OK, I've been random. I'm going to sign out and go be odd for a while!

:D

Saturday lazy stuff

2011-09-10T11:07:00.000-06:00

It's a grey, overcast day. Rain in the forecast at 30%, which means in this area, it probably will, but who knows how much or how long. After the last few months of drought, I welcome any rain that cares to bless the soil! I say that, even though I dislike this kind of gloomy day. I'm going to be spending most of today inside, anyway. The high is supposed to be 70°. It is 56° at 10:30, so I don't know if it will make that high. I've already put on sweats and socks against the chill 64° inside.

Yesterday was a less-than-great day for me. I had a pretty good flare up of Fibromyalgia. It didn't put me to bed, but it certainly interfered with how my day went. I had muscle aches that became spasms at times, and I was in a fog most of the day. Sinuses or hay fever were more active than usual. I went to work, and I actually accomplished a lot, but it seemed that I was moving in slow motion much of the time.

When I left work, I came home, got into comfy clothes and had a cup of hot tea. Then I snuggled with the Furries. That made life much better all around!

Today seems to be a better day already. I'm sill a bit achy, but nothing in comparison to yesterday. I'm not planning any heavy work today, although I have several tasks in mind that will allow me to be seated most of the time and don't require any heavy lifting or other strenuous activity. Some organization that I keep putting off, sorting and downsizing the craft supplies, art supplies and office supplies that are in storage tubs following the water heater debacle and Allan moving away at the same time (remember I emptied out several pieces of furniture so he could take them to his sister?). I know I will feel so much better when it is behind me. Sometimes I wonder if these times of physical limitations happen to force me to do what is so easy to put off otherwise!? If so, I need to have about two months of "sick days"!!!

I'm considering the need to begin moving my plants in for the winter. This always entails rearranging furniture to accommodate the larger pots. I might look for a medium large but shallow pot to put all my little succulents in. I don't know what would be easier .... caring for about ten small pots that will fit here and there between bigger ones, or caring for one larger pot that I might have trouble finding a place for. The small pots are a nuisance to water as they always overflow. I have to be sure there is a sufficient water-catcher under them, so their footprint is larger than the little pots they are in. Watering one big pot would be so much easier .... its footprint is only one, but a larger space. Sigh.There isn't a clearly "better" answer.

For now, I'm going to stay parked on the couch for a while and read. I've been reading since about 6:30 and hope to finish a book I've been reading for a couple months. It is good, but I've not been in the reading mood. Today, I am!! Sooooo .... Later!!!

Morning at my place

2011-09-08T07:24:00.003-06:00

Good morning!

I woke achy this morning, then I saw this ....

Still achy, but this eases the pain. :)

Have a beautiful day!

Reunions

2011-09-05T09:32:00.001-06:00

It's nearly 9:00 AM, but I'm not ready to get out of bed. Sooooo .... what can I blog about to avoid putting my feet on the floor? Hmmm.

My high school graduating class is beginning to plan for the 50th reunion. Yup. I'm that old. I graduated in 1962, before some of you were even born! It is hard to believe it has been that long. But clearly, I'm deluded!

Anyway, the first step to a reunion is to update records (phone #s, addresses, email) of everyone and to locate as many of the "missing" as possible. I had offered to help with whatever, but since I'm around 300 miles away from "home," there will be limitations to what I can do. When one of the organizers sent out the database of address from our 2007 reunion, I knew I could probably do some work on the internet to help find those "lost souls."

So I began by running the names through Facebook. Lawdy! Who would think there would be that many people by those names in the world?? Some of the names are not John Smith, trust me, and yet there are many faces that pop up when I put in “Clarice Snebowitz.” No, that’s not a real person, although I’ll bet something would pop up if I googled it!! But none of those faces look like the people I knew “back when.” It’s hard to know how a person has changed.

It is especially challenging to find the women. So many don’t put their maiden names in their profiles, and married names? Hah! Even if you know the married name from the early days, so many are on a second or fifth marriage!

I have located several, however, and it is fun to catch up, pre-reunion. Emails and FB messages are flying back and forth, and it is so interesting to hear what people have been doing all these years!

I love these reunions! One of the things I like most is learning these things about people, where they’ve been, what they’ve been doing. The first reunion (10 year) was a farce. Not much had changed, people hung out with their old gangs, and there was little value in conversations, because everyone was jockeying for “my job is better than yours,” and “I have a bigger house than you,” or “my children are smarter/walked earlier/more beautiful than yours.” However, in the subsequent years those things have dropped in importance, the cliques have largely dissolved. I have friends with whom I would not have hung out back in the day. Oh, there are a few who remain in their ivory towers with their selected associates. They still are in pockets at the edge of the activity at reunions. But for the most part, we are all equals now. I love it.

So I will continue to search for the lost classmates between now and Labor Day weekend next year. I hope I find a few ore to place in my “new old friends” list.

Sunday smiles

2011-09-04T09:19:00.002-06:00

Sunday Funnies!

And I have a headache this morning, so no comments.... you have to figure them out on your own! hee hee hee!

Have a smiling kinda Sunday!

Overdue photos

2011-09-03T15:59:00.001-06:00

Driving home yesterday I remembered to take some pictures that I've been promising some of you.

First, just to show you how green things are now, these are just up the road from my house ....

I love the little yellow flowers!

It's not the same place that someone commented a few weeks ago about how brown everything was, but this last photo looks about the same amount of green as the field with the horses.

I looked at my garden early this morning, hoping it would show signs of life with the $200-300 perennials I put out there last year and the year before. They were supposed to propagate and spread over the next few years. Sadly, it appears the extended hard freeze from last winter and the drought of spring and summer took a deadly toll. Very little of those seem to have survived. Even the marigolds I put out to deter the deer from eating the other plants aren't coming up. I saw just 3-5 plants, when last year there were hundreds of them. It appears the various lilies have survived and most of the iris, except what the deer ate during the drought. The bushes, Apache plume and Spanish broom seem to be fine, and the one cactus I brought from my sister's home in Texas is alive and well.

I'm really sad that I lost so much of the pretty colo from the slopes. I was really careful to pick plants that were drought-tolerant, altitude appropriate, etc. Even the transplanted wildflowers seem to have not tolerated the wicked weather conditions. I'm pretty discouraged, but I'll stick to the natural grasses and such to fill in, I guess. :'( I hope that some of the seeds are just dormant and not dead, so possibly next year if we don't have the drought, it will have a recovery.

Another picture I've said I'd post. This is my neighbor's dog, Chomar. He is an adorable creature!

Every time I drive in or out of here I stop and we "chat" for a few moments. Sometimes, he just stands and looks at me like this with his tail gently wagging. Other times he "talks" to me, his jaw going up and down with little grunts coming out, and others, he throws his head back and barks, stops a minute and wags, then barks more!

When I have time, I get out of the truck for a couple minutes and pet him. He loves it when that happens! His owner says he waits for me. He has learned my general pattern around work, and he is almost always waiting for me long before I get there! He's an Anatolian Shepherd, and he is there to guard and protect the three goats, two small dogs and a couple cats who live there. He has already earned his keep, as he had chased of several coyotes that have come over the fence. But for me, he is just a big, loveable teddy bear.

Gosh, it is hard to realize that I will need to begin bringing my plants in from the deck. I can probably put it off for another month, but I need to start thinking about where to put all of them. That is a challenge every fall!

OK, back to work. Wishing everyone a good weekend! And don't forget to LABOR on Monday!!!

I don't miss ...

2011-09-03T09:04:00.003-06:00

OK, here is one of the things I DON'T miss by being alone!! LOL!

Have a great weekend, everyone!

All creatures, wild and tame

2011-09-01T22:26:00.000-06:00

Last night, or rather early this morning, Max had a dream, and he woke us all because of it. I was actually slightly awake, turned over and was almost back to sleep. He was right beside my shoulder, and suddenly lifted his head and began a throaty, long, mournful howl! Lola was near him and turned around, blinking with sleepy eyes, and cocked her head. Jaz, Sam and Joey all raised their heads and looked confused. Max just kept howling until I reached over and petted him and repeated several times, "It's OK, buddy." When he woke, he was as confused as the rest of us at that point. Very strange stuff!

The coyotes were out very early this evening. Around 7:00, before it was really dark, they were yipping and yapping, and they weren't far from the house. Hate those beasts. grrrr. Of course, all my guys ran to the deck and were barking furiously. I made them come in and closed the dog doors, and they won't go out without me. I do let them on the deck because it is pretty secure.

A while ago they were out, and there was a sudden ruckus, especially from Lola. It's common for her to be the barkiest one, the terrier part of her, I guess. I called them in, and she came galloping, then she dropped something from her mouth on to the carpet and began to bark at it. She had captured a praying mantis! Good grief. I picked it up and released it back to the outside world.

And this morning, the strangest thing happened. The hummingbirds followed me on my way to work! Seriously! My truck sits right under their feeders, and when I began to drive off, a few of them were sort of hovering over the bed of the truck. I drove almost a half mile at about 20 mph, and they were still all around the truck, darting in front and beside it, then hanging out over the bed! I stopped to say "Good morning" the the dog around the way, and the hummers were hovering at my windshield, looking in at me! I have no explanation for it. I had fed them shortly before leaving the house. I don't know if there was some odd dynamic around that. Very peculiar, regardless of the cause. As I drove off from the neighbor's, the wee birdies disappeared!

I don't understand parts of my life, but they surely are fun and interesting!

Looooong weeks and long weekends

2011-09-01T08:05:00.000-06:00

I'm tired, and it is not even 8:00 AM. I slept well. Actually, I've slept well for several days running, so that's not the issue. It's just that I can hardly believe it is only Thursday. This past week has been so long, just crawling along. Maybe it will get better now that the memorial service for our coworker is done (yesterday late afternoon). I don't know.

I'm looking forward to this weekend. Long weekends are good (but let's not talk yet about the week after, which tends to be chaotic!), and I have a lot of options on my plate. I didn't know of anyone who was planning anything, and that suited me. I have lots of little tasks around the home, including three small painting projects. Well, make that two itty-bitty ones (putting color on two feature walls) and one medium-small (beginning to get rid of the ugly green on my deck and the lattice work that covers the under-deck area). I've been putting these off for a long time, and it will be good to get them done. Or in the case of the deck, it will be good to have it started, as it will likely take me two or three weekends to complete it.

Then I have several organization projects inside the house, too, so if it rains too much, I can pretty much stay in and still be busy. I also need to bathe and trim The Kids. So, my weekend is filled and busy.

And then ....

At the last minute, several people have decided to have get-togethers this weekend. Of course, all of them are on Monday, and the overlap is unmanageable. I need to decide which one I will go to. I won't do more than one because they are all pot-luck style, and I'm not going to cook several dishes! Besides, one free-for-all-food-fest in one day is enough! I'll probably do the singles group because it was the first to be announced and it is the latest in the day. That will allow me to have Saturday and Sunday to do tasks, then I can cook early Monday before going.

And now .... I have to go to work. I really, really hope today goes by faster than the other three have this week.

I miss ....

2011-08-30T07:49:00.000-06:00

I miss ....

someone to scratch my back

someone meeting me at the airport

someone to thread my needle when I can't

someone to brainstorm with

someone to take care of me when I’m sick

holding hands

folding sheets together

someone to say “It’ll be OK,” or “We’ll get through this.”

a shoulder for my head

a head on my shoulder

a dance partner

someone in the empty seat at the table

someone to tell me my slip is showing

someone to wash the dishes after I cook

hearing “I missed you”

waiting for someone to come home

someone who gets me

Hike!

2011-08-29T07:11:00.000-06:00

Yesterday was a great day!

We ran across a skeleton. Pretty sure it is an elk. It is fresh, as it still had a tiny bit of tissue on parts of the bones, and we were amazed at the thoroughness of the scavenging.

We drove by this on our way in without even seeing it, probably because we were looking for a trail and didn't notice the huge field, actually fields, of flowers.

Later I saw this cluster of flowers beside the car where we stopped to investigate another trail.

At that same stop we were very close to Nogal Peak. We were actually in Nogal Canyon, running around on roads that were barely more than trails.

On a different trail, we saw this little caterpillar. Isn't he colorful?

The aspens in this canyon were magnificent! These trunks were the broadest I think I've ever seen. I'd guess they were a good 18 inches diameter. These are probably 50 feet tall.

Lots of hiking, sweating, beautiful things to see, pictures to take (I forgot my camera, so these were from my cell, and my battery ran out, blasted short-lived smart phones), marvelously fresh air, but we found no crystals. It's OK, we found some good places to go back and investigate more fully. We will do one trail/canyon at a time, whereas we scouted several of them yesterday, skipping from one to the next to figure out where they were, getting our bearings, so to speak. We also need to get a good map of hiking trails to pinpoint where we are.

I thought I'd be unable to get out of bed without great pain today, but I'm actually doing very well! Guess I'm not as old and out of shape as I thought. Well, OK, I'm still as old, but at least my body is sort of in sync with my head. I'm eager to go back!

Gotta get ready for work!

Rocks

2011-08-27T14:32:00.000-06:00

.... and rocks and more rocks.

One of the originals.

A new one.

Two originals, the one on the right was rebuilt today as it had fallen over or was kicked over by a deer.

A new one. This was challenging, because every time I lifted the big central rock atop the two "legs," they toppled. I think it was the 4th time I restacked that the balance was finally right to hold the heavy stone.

Two more of the originals. If you click to enlarge you will see the delicate balance in the one on the right. I'm really proud of that feat! The fact that it hasn't fallen amazes me!

And the last one .... This took some energy. Some of those rocks are not easy to lift and balance!

A closer view.

I didn't move the two big base rocks, but took advantage of their location to build a giant stack. It's about 4 feet tall.

I like this angle cause it shows the space in the stack.

I spoke again to the lady at the little store, and she said that she learned who is building the stacks. She didn't know much about him, but he is building them as they are supposed to help balance nature. That's good. I think anything we can do to bring balance into this world is worthy of my time. Maybe it's just a pipe dream to think that has anything to do with it, but that's OK. I like the way they look, I like the kind thoughts behind the process, and it was therapeutic for me to be out there, sweating and working out some of my angst from yesterday.

a terrible day

2011-08-26T20:59:00.000-06:00

A coworker died today. It was completely unexpected. Too young at 57, she had an apparent heart attack or stroke.

She was in, or seemed to be, great shape. She was slender, active in exercise (played golf Wednesday), looked 10 years younger than she was. How an that happen?

She was a fairly new employee, a nurse, a great addition to our staff roster. She always had a nice word. I liked her right away on meeting her. Our patients liked her. I think everyone liked her. As we talked through the day, several of us recalled that several times this week she mentioned not feeling well, but she brushed it off, saying it was just a little headache or something undefinable.

Upon hearing this news our usual routine was gone. Business went on through the day, but there was not a single person unaffected by this news, and the work was mechanical. Well, mechanical and sluggish, anything but normal.

I fought tears several times, only because I had things that had to get done. One of my tasks was facilitating a bereavement group. I felt incapable of leading anyone, anywhere today, but I finally made it through the day.

Sometimes there is just no plausible explanation. This is one of them.

Birds, beds and bugs

2011-08-25T19:08:00.000-06:00

I'm a bit sad as I think the hummingbirds are beginning to thin out, probably an indicator that the migration has begun. :( It seems a bit early to me. I'm thinking the thinning usually starts around mid-September. The consumption of nectar has dropped from around 1.5 gallons per day to something less than a gallon. I hope this is not an indicator of an early winter. I like cold weather, but I don't want 14 months of winter!! Anyway, I'll watch to see what the "Hummingbird Bar" looks like over the next few days.

Jazi seems to think I make the bed every morning just for her benefit. Soon after I make it, this is what I find ....

Spoiled little girl, that's what she is! I often come home in the afternoon to find the pillows moved, usually forming a perfect nest for a furry girl! I guess I should expect it, however, as she is The Princess! She thinks she is The Queen, but I get to be that!

Last night I saw this little moth resting just beneath the lights on my deck. You'll have to click on this photo to see him.

Pretty little thing! He's a very pale green, and almost translucent wings. I have no idea what he is, but I thought he was worthy of a portrait as one of the temporary residents of Chez Lynilu!

I'm going to go hunting for crystals this weekend with some friends. I'm eager, as I've never done this before. The place that is supposed to be good for this is very close to my house, probably 3-5 crow-flying miles, or about 10 miles driving. I hope I find at least one! It will be fun to know where to look for them, and I might well go back with one or two of the pups for a walk-about in the future.

I'm very tired this evening. I've had a very busy week, not a bad one, but I'm ready for the weekend. Just one more day!!

2011-08-25T07:23:00.000-06:00

This .....

..... is my favorite corner of my desk at work.

Can you guess why?

Looking around

2011-08-24T21:28:00.000-06:00

Today was a camera day. I'm not sure why, but here is the result ....

And how was your day?

Interesting light

2011-08-21T21:35:00.000-06:00

This evening I was sitting the the deck talking to a friend on the phone when I saw a weird and beautiful phenomenon. When you look at these two pictures, it looks like there is a glare on my camera lens, but no .... it is a light (lights?) somewhere between my house and the Capitans. I have no explanation for this other than the obvious fact that it was at sunset, and this is refracted from the pink sunset behind me.

The oddest thing is that the light looks as if someone sliced the bottom off. It is straight across the bottom and doesn't reach the ground! It's not because the horizon cuts it off, because there isn't a straight line horizon around here. I have no idea!

Nuff said. Lookee here .....

Isn't that odd?

Sunday Funnies

2011-08-21T07:50:00.000-06:00

Gooooood Moooooorning!!! Have some funnies on me!

Now .... grin like that ALL DAY LONG!!!

From the earth to the skies .... I'm covering it all!

2011-08-19T20:01:00.000-06:00

An interesting phenomenon has been occurring in the last few weeks. Along the highway where I drive to work, someone has been building, for lack of better description, rock totems or rock totem poles. The first one I was was there one morning, perhaps three weeks ago. "Interesting," I thought, wondering if it was to hoor someone who died in an accident at that spot, but thinking it was an unusual way to do so., and not recalling any accidents in that area for a long, long time.

Then a couple days later, another appeared. Hmmm. Since then, I've noticed a new one or two every few days. Earlier this week I saw a man out building one or perhaps rebuilding it, I'm not sure.

This afternoon, as I drove home, I stopped several times along the half mile or so, and photographed them.

These three are the closest to the junction with another highway, and among the first ones built. Yes, there are three, see the little one on the left side of the photo?

Same group, but I cut off the small one. See how close they are to the road?

Another group, not as clear because I couldn't stop in a safe place to get out, so I took this through the windshield.

Another small one shot through the windshield. I just noticed I got the hood of the truck in the photo!

A couple more farther down the road.

This one is pretty large. I pulled of on the opposite side of the road to get this one.

And this is the car that drove past as I tried to capture .....

.... this one!

At this point I stopped in a tiny store and asked the owner if she knew about them. She said she didn't and she never sees anyone out there, but her days are spent baking and cooking the foods she sells there. We walked out and looked at them and speculated for a bit. She said that in past years there was a homeless guy who lived in a culvert up the way who used to build those, and someone said he did it to bring rain. Well, if that's so, it apparently worked, because about the time those began to appear, the rain began!

I think they are cool looking! I came home and guess what I did? Yep. I built my own totems! I got five done today and I plan to erect three more for a nice number of eight total.

These two are about two feet and two and a half feet tall. They are sitting near the road in front (east) of my house.

This one is a little taller, close to three feet tall. It is sitting near the driveway across from the two previous ones.

And these two are in my garden, near the lower driveway and at the foot of my stone steps.

I'll probably put the last three near the other entrance, the north side of my driveway.

As I returned to the house, I saw that my Spanish Broom is blooming a bit.

Poor things. I thought I might have lost the brooms, but they all look good. Whew.

And walking to the house, I enjoyed seeing the geraniums that have gone wild since the rains began.

Now here is the reason for the (at last) greening of my little acre ....

This is the rain over the last two days. The might have been a tiny bit, less than 1/4 inch from the evening before, but those 2.5 inches have fallen in 48 hours, and the coolest part is .... the ground is nice and wet, so it is soaking in, not running off! Woo hoooo!!

So do any of you know the significance of the totems? I've googled "rock totems," but in a quick scan of the articles, they mostly talked about seeking rocks that resembled, for instance, the body of a certain animal, the another rock for the head, etc. If you have any knowledge of what this might be all about, let me know. Meanwhile I'm gonna keep building these cool little stacks of rocks! hey, next time I'm asked about hobbies, I'm gonna say "stacking rocks"!!

One last thing. There were some awesome clouds over the Capitans a few minutes ago .....

It doesn't show up as well as I wanted, but in addition to the gold (which does show well), there was a lot of silver that just almost sparkled! It was nearly surreal.

OK, that's my story of the day and I'm stickin' to it! At least for today I am! LOL!!

Late night realization

2011-08-19T08:28:00.000-06:00

Last night after I'd turned off the computer, I realized yesterday was a big event, and I almost missed it. It was the third anniversary of Jazmyn Jewel coming here to join our furry little family. (Well, The Kids are furry, me not so much!)

I didn't want to get out of bed and turn the computer back on, but I posted a note to Facebook from my cell. I said, "Oh, today is the 3 year anniversary of Jazmyn becoming my owner!! She is officially 5 years old. Happy Homecoming Birthday, Jazi Jewel!!!"

She definitely does own me! And she knows it. Except for the Houdini talents she displayed recently, she is nearly the perfect little companion. It's hard to believe she is already 5 years old.

Now I'm also reminded that I breezed past the Homecoming Birthday for the three boys, too. I brought all of them home three years ago in June. In June this year I was preoccupied with the Quinceanera, and I just simply forgot!

June 13, 2008, Sam Wilson moved from Texas to New Mexico, my first rescue and a devoted little buddy. A real blessing and a lesson in love. In June he turned 7 years of age.

A week later, June 13, 2008, Maxwell Lee, a former resident of Clovis, NM, joined my growing family. A street dog, he had some adjusting to do, but he was in love with me .... and vise versa .... very quickly. Max is now 5 years old.

And a few days later, I drove to Oklahoma to include Joey Jingo. Sweet natured and loving, Joey is our senior citizen at 9 years. He may be the eldest, but his heart is young and playful.

Miss Lolita Luna came later, in January, so her Homecoming is then, but she is the only one that we have a general idea of her birth, and guess what? It is in June! The others all have Homecoming Birthdates; she has separate ones. So in honor of her date of birth in June, here she is, too .....

Life is complete. It is very good.

OK, OK, OK, I gots sumptin AGAIN!!!

2011-08-17T19:10:00.000-06:00

After work I went to a social/education group I'm part of in Capitan. Good meeting, good company! Then as I was driving home over a gravel road between Capitan and my house, a big, dark spot scrambled across the road in front of me. I tried to avoid it, but when I looked in the rear view mirror, the poor creature was immobile.

I backed up to check on it, and it was completely still, legs skyward. I felt so bad.

It was right smack in the middle of a tire track, and I hated that I killed it. And then .... I realized that it was NOT squashed! Hellllooooo? I took the above picture, then reached inside the car for something to flip it over and check it out. I found a restaurant carryout menu, and as I slid it under his body, he flipped over and scurried away like wildfire!! Stinker was playing possum!!

I followed him with the camera ....

I wanted to get a photo to give you an idea of his size, so I took this one with my size 8 in the frame ....

He's not exactly huge, but he ain't small, either! I figure his leg span is about like my hand from heel to finger tips. My hand is fairly small, and I'd say the length is 6-8 inches.

I'm so glad he was OK.

During my drive I noticed the grass is very green and the new grass is nearly as tall as last years brown grass in the fields. Ill try to remember to take a shot of that tomorrow, as several of you commented on the dryness in photos from earlier in the summer. I'm glad "Spring" is finally here!!

I just looked out a few minutes ago after hearing thunder and wondering which direction it was, and discovered that a huge cloud was roughly over me, then a space of clear sky to the east, and another storm cloud farther east than that. Look at this photo. See the distinct line of shadow a little way out?

And the rain is coming down on the right hand side of the photo.

Actually there were two pockets of rain ....

What a variety of conditions!

And have you noticed as I have, the days are getting noticeably shorter? :( I wish this weather would be year round. Today's high was something around 80°, I got 1/2 inch rain, and it has been just about perfect!

That all being said .... Later y'all!!!

I gots sumptin!!

2011-08-16T21:25:00.000-06:00

OK, OK, alright, here we go, I've got sumptin to write about!!! Woo hoo, yippee-skippee, and YAY!

This morning I went to have some blood work done. Nothing serious, just routine stuff that I was supposed to do a couple months ago and repeatedly forgot to fast in the evening before the days when I could go in. Well, I finally got my stuff together and went in this morning.

I did it this morning because I go in late on Tuesday since I stay to do the evening bereavement group. I waited until almost 11:00, so I didn't have a lot of time to fill before going to the office, and of course, by 11:00, I was famished. After the lab, I went a few blocks and had breakfast at Denny's. The food was good, and I enjoyed taking my time reading a book, as they weren't busy yet.

I was nearly done with my food, asked for a refill of coffee to enjoy the rest of the chapter, and then it happened.

People were beginning to come in for lunch. A small group with three adults and two children were seated in the booth behind me. I didn't even look, but was peripherally aware of their arrival. Everything was fine until they put the little girl, probably about two years old, into the high chair.

I don't know if she didn't want to be in the high chair, whether she wanted to be held, if she was hungry, or just what, but she began crying. And crying. And shrieking. And crying. The two adult females tried to console her, but didn't pick her up, so she continued to bawl!

Let me assure you, I like kids. I really do! But I'm not used to being around little ones, and when this wailing was going on just about three feet from my ear, I was becoming more and more rattled. I was unable to focus on the words of my book. I eventually just left with half the coffee in the cup.

As I paid I was asked if everything was alright. I responded that the food and service was fine, but the crying child drove me out before I wanted to leave. The woman commiserated with me (more on that converssation in a moment) and then comped half of my meal. That helped, but the jangling of my nerves was a done deal.

The conversation we had at the cash register was about how we both wished the young mother had handled the situation. We agreed that when we were young and one of our children began crying, we picked up the child and walked outside or to a lobby or something of the sort to soothe the child and to avoid irritating people who were eating or trying to talk, etc. Children will cry! But I never felt I .... or my child .... has license to disrupt the pleasure of others.

I've seen this happen often, people of all ages interject their own agendas on others in public settings, talking unnecessarily loud; allowing children to run amok, bumping into people or nearly tripping them, handling merchandise in stores, etc.; playing car radios horribly loud; on and on.

Every person has a right to be in these public places. That baby girl and her family had as much right as I. But the assumed license to put your needs over mine (or mine over yours) just isn't OK in my estimation.

So .... where do you stand?

To end on a pleasant note, tonight as I arrived home, there was a beautiful double rainbow .....

Yeah, it's all good. :)

It's raining, and I'm in a dry spell

2011-08-15T18:15:00.000-06:00

I'm in one of those dry spells. Every time I start to write, after a few paragraphs, I say "No, that's boring," and save it in draft, but when I reread it later, I'm still unimpressed.

I'll be back.

sigh.

2011-08-12T23:01:00.000-06:00

Its Friday. Thank goodness, it's Friday. Although, if you know me, you know that it still means no significant rest for me this weekend!

It's another busy weekend, but this one is not out of control. A work event tomorrow morning .... a butterfly release for people to let beautiful monarchs fly free in memory of their loved ones who have passed across. It should be really nice, particularly if it isn't pouring rain between 11:00 and 1:00!

Then I'll come home and do a little sumptin-sumptin for a while and about 5:00 leave for a surprise birthday party for a friend. It is going to be a huge party, and I'm helping with food. I've already prepared everything, so there will be nothing to do for it tomorrow. I might even take a nap!

Sunday isn't packed, but I do want to attend a couple spiritual services in town. That will be a refreshing time.

As I was driving into town yesterday, I noticed the mountain sides are dotted with brown trees, pine trees that have died. The mountain sides are like a green fabric with brown polka dots, as it is relatively evenly distributed. I'm supposing it is the result of the drought. Now that it is raining again, nearly every day thank goodness, the healthier trees are a rich green in contrast to those poor dead ones. It occurred to me that it is possibly one of nature's ways of keeping the growth under control. What a clever way to do so, as the brown trees are relatively evenly spread; however, I'd rather not have the drought too often, thank you very much.

Thankfully, we are having daily rain or at least showers. It is nice to see the green returning .... the grasses between the trees and shrubs, the rich greens of the trees (now that the dust is washed off with the rain), and I noticed this evening that my little garden is reviving, at least to some degree. All the watering I did seemed to do nothing for most of the plants, but a few days of rain, and little green things are popping out all over the garden! It's like spring in August!! Weird!

Today I remembered to stop on the way to work to take pictures of the poor, drought affected forest. Take a look at these:

The live trees are looking beautiful. Everything has greened up beautifully.

Here is another look at nature and it's path. Remember the White Wildfire (pictures at the link) a few months ago? It's the one that was so close to Ruidoso. Well, today, I drove by part of it that I photographed immediately after the fire, in fact, it was still smoldering and burning in small areas. Today I was driving past that same area, and it is amazing to me how much is already regrowing in that area now that we are getting some rain. It is nice to see this, although it is just the beginning of rebirth of the forest in that area. Look at the green between the burned lumber. Any fuzziness in the photos is the rain that was falling when I took the shots.

Tonight there was a beautiful sunset. I'm glad I caught this.

Look at the rain falling out of those clouds!

Not long after I took those photos, the dogs kept going out front, then back and barking, barking barking. I finally closed the dog doors to keep them in and quiet. About fifteen minutes later the coyotes started their infernal serenade, just across the road. Arghhh. I really, really hate those beasts. They were around much earlier than usual tonight. Hopefully they made the rounds here and have moved on and won't be back tonight. My pups should be OK, because they are a pack, and coyotes usually don't take on another pack, but I'm not about to trust those insidious, nasty varmits.

And there you have it. That's all I have for today. Time to take the dogs out under my watchful eye and then get some sleep. Hasta mañana!

Chuckles and chortles

2011-08-10T07:02:00.000-06:00

I'm having a major withdrawal effect! My comics supplier is having a site makeover and upgrade of software, and today is Day 3 without new giggles. I hope the git'er done soon! In the meanwhile, here is a mixed collection of my funnies in the storage locker. Enjoy!!

GROUNDED!!!

2011-08-09T10:20:00.000-06:00

Yes, that word that every parent hates to say and yet says it with enormous glee!!

Word - GROUNDED!

2 Words - YOU'RE GROUNDED!!

3 Words - YOU'RE SO GROUNDED!!!!

And the chorus - BWAAAA HA HA HA HA!!!!

Jazyn Jewel Shuler is G.R.O.U.N.D.E.D!!!!!!!

I took Lola for her shots today, and since I would be gone for just a little while, I decided to try leaving the dog door access to the deck open to see what would happen. Lolita and I were gone just under an hour, and when we returned, I panicked for the first few seconds as we drove up, because I could see the three boys on the deck, but not Jaz. Then she came bouncing out the door and to the gate, and I nearly cried with relief! She was contained!!

Thank you rabbit wire. Thank you power stapler. Thank you leather gloves. Thank you God! The babies are safely enclosed once again!!!

Laughs and sighs

2011-08-07T12:09:00.000-06:00

I call it laughs because this comic strip is one of the funniest out there, and sighs because if you have, have ever had or once were a teenager, you'll get this, but accompanied with several sighs!

Then I threw in a few from "Dustin," a fairly new strip for me. Dustin is apparently out of college but living at home without a job. The "grown up" version of Zits-kid!

Enjoy!! Theses need no commentary from Chez Lynilu!!

Happy Sunday, everyone!

Slow

2011-08-07T08:12:00.000-06:00

Or perhaps I should say "Slooooooooowwwwww."

I'm starting my day very slowly. It seems yesterday's tasks have caught up with my body!

I was out on the deck fairly early, attaching the final section of rabbit wire to the upright railings in attempt to confine Miss Jazi to the interior of the deck. As I was doing so, I watched my neighbor with his bobcat thingy (it has a different brand name that I don't remember) cleaning and repairing the drainage ditch that runs beside the road. I was glad to see it. They are new neighbors, moved in just last month, and over that last year a contractor has been out preparing the property for them, drilling a well, leveling the ground and pouring a pad, putting in a driveway, etc. When he did the driveway, I was not happy because the way he put it technically nicks into my part of the easement. Yes, I understand easement, but what it does is nips off a bit that is "mine." Although I paid for it, the county actually still owns it; doesn't that stink?. I don't know if you remember my angst over losing a pie wedge slice of my property because of a sloppy surveyor. If you're interested, you can read the story here and here and here. Anyway, I guess it has become the principle of it all. But that's not the issue here.

The contractor obliterated the drainage ditch when he put in the driveway. The ditch became filled with dirt and rock, so although he put a culvert under the new driveway so the rainwater from up the hill wouldn't wipe out the driveway, the part downhill from the culvert was filled and would allow the water to run over the road, causing furrows and terrible driving conditions and possibly take out my driveway at the road, too. BTW, both driveways are dirt and gravel. I talked to the contractor, and he said he would fix it before he was done. When he finished, you guessed it, he was gone, and I never saw him afterward. Thank goodness, my new neighbor has more ethics than the contractor and was repairing the damage.

At one point he walked up my drive and said I needed to come look at what he found. I was hoping for a treasure chest of gold so we could split it and both be out of debt, but no. What he found was buried under about three feet of dirt, and it had been buried for longer than I've lived here. A road grader at some time caught the edge of the culvert and tore it. If you don't know, those big culverts are made in spirals, so when the blade of the grader caught it, the spiral was undone. It was still spiraled, but with a smaller diameter and coiled out a distance of 4-5 feet. It was then a trap for silt and rocks washing down the hill for whatever length of time. So, although I checked it during or after rains, and my culvert had been carrying the water through, it was only about 1/2 or 1/3 open at the up-end.

Neighbor Jim and I discussed what to do. I won't bore you with the whole process, but suffice it to say that he had already re-laid the culvert at his own driveway as it was not done right (go figure), and he was willing to help me fix mine so we would have a good, safe drainage. We began working with his bobcat, shovels and hands to dig it all out. He then used a powerful little electric saw to cut through the twisted metal of the culvert so it would no longer be a debris catcher and removed the twisted metal.

At this point, I think he was getting a little worried about me. My face goes very red with any heat or exertion, and I'm sure I was "blushing." He had apparently told his boys, 18 and almost 21, to come help, because down his drive came the guys with more shovels, etc. Over the next couple hours, we built a rock retainer to keep the water flow from eating out the sides of the ditch as it enters the culvert.

In this process, I lost probably 2.5-3 feet of the intact culvert, so Jim picked up several good sized boulders and placed them alongside the newly designed culvert to keep people from driving too near the area and crushing it. It actually looks really nice now!

This all took about four hours, and just as we finished, the sprinkles began. Perfect timing! And it is good we got it done, because over the next couple hours, we got over an inch of rain!! I tossed on a poncho and walked down the hill during the onslaught, and it was nice to see the water flowing freely through Jim's culvert, down the ditch and through mine without any pooling. Whew!

This morning, however, that physical toil has come home. My muscles are a bit "screechy." You know, when I move, it feels like a screechy door hinge sounds! I'm not bad, and I will get up and get busy to work out the stiffness and achey-ness soon. I'm not doing anything heavy today, but the inside of the house needs my attention.

Aren't good neighbors the best??

Giggles and grins

2011-08-06T09:05:00.000-06:00

I have a bunch of funnies I've saved, and I need to start fresh, but before I toss a lot, I'm going to share a few in series because they are just the greatest. Today is Baby Blues. Enjoy!

And, as parents, we love creeping you out! Bwaaa ha ha ha!

We keep dreaming of being "the cool parents," don't we? No matter how old the kids get, we STILL hope to be cool! sigh...

No comment!!

There are "guy things" and "girl things." Some "things" just can't cross genders.

Trust me, she may not be .....

I love how siblings, especially brothers, always have to be right.

Poor parental judgment, for sure! LOL!

Uhm-hummmm.

Are you young moms feelin' it????

This one just cracks me up! Some things i life are SO predictable!!! Little boys are among them!

Have a fabulous Saturday!!

2011-08-04T21:20:00.000-06:00

Looka wha'hoppent in my neck of the woods today .....

SNOW!!! OK, OK, it's actually residual sleet and small hail fro an hour before. Had ya going didn't I???

And it was really foggy through the canyon as I left work. All that melting ice and the relatively warm air caused it.

"Relative warmth" is this .... 55°. It isn't warm, but just enough to melt the ice. And relatively cold, because this is August 4th, for goodness sake!!

There was an incredible deluge in Ruidoso around noon to 1:00. I'm telling you it was coming down in buckets! In fact, a couple buckets slipped through and fell in the parking lot! LOL! Then it started sleeting. Then it started hailing (bean size). Then it rained some more. It was incredible!

I left about 2:30, and my truck was amazingly clean from the rain! I love natural carwashes! I ran by my house before going to my unpaid gig at the thrift shop, so I could check on The Kids. It had rained here, but not so hard, obviously. There was about 1/4 inch in the gauge, and the ground was nicely wet without puddles or running arroyos. I had left the windows up just a couple inches, and it didn't seem to have rained in, happily for me!

Driving the two miles on my dirt road and back again, then the 8 miles of dirt road to Capitan and back again, left my truck looking like I've been out "mudding"!!! Sigh. I wish I had taken a picture of it, but I didn't think of it till just now. Well, maybe it will rain again tonight or tomorrow and leave it shiny again. Let's hope!!

I heard from my daughter today after the mediation. It went pretty well. She will be alright. Not a lot of surplus money, of course, but it is going to be sufficient to gt by without terrible scrimping. That's a relief, and it is a relief that it is over. Since they reached a settlement, she doesn't have to endure waiting till January for a trial, or going through the trial, either. The papers will be filed and finalized soon, probably within a couple weeks. I know she is sad about the real end of the marriage, but she is also relieved to have it over, and I hope she will sleep well tonight. Onward and upward!

My stepdaughter is doing well. The word on the biopsies won't be for a while, but it looks good. She is up and walking a little now, a good sign. My reports on her progress are, uhmmm, well, less than full of information because her daughters, my granddaughters are somewhat not good reporters! Gah! I'll be glad when I can talk to her!

This has been a tough week for me. Worrying about my girls and a couple personal worries have just kept me off kilter. Nothing is serious at this point, but it has just been stressful. I'm very glad it is nearly over. I had wanted to do an art reception this evening, but didn't make it away from the thrift shop in time. Not a big deal. I'm looking forward to the weekend to get some rest and do some housecleaning, a badly neglected item in my house of late!

For the record, I think I'm going dancing tomorrow night. That's always subject to change, of course!

It's all about me!

2011-08-02T10:57:00.000-06:00

I forgot to brag on myself the other day. One should never lose an opportunity to wave her own flag!!

So .... Let me take this opportunity to WOW you!

I have been mumbling to myself for some time about needing to have a different bedspread. I have a couple that I love, but they are too heavy for summer. Both are very lightweight, one said on the package, "Summer Coverlet," but it was still too much for me. It was like a lightweight quilt, no padding, just fabric, probably 3-4 layers to hold it in place, but still to much. I took it off every night or folded it into a thin roll at the foot of the bed. I tried putting just a second sheet on the bed, mostly to catch the doggy sheds and dust off their little feet. That was OK, but it meant taking off the sheet and replacing the bedspread every morning. Just a nuisance and too many steps for this ol' lady still adjusting to a getting-ready-for-work morning routine. And leaving the second, top sheet on the bed was not attractive, although it happened often.

A couple weeks ago I had a brain storm. Usually when my brain makes noises it is more like a brain fart, but this one was a good sound! I thought about buying a nice colored or patterned sheet and a dust ruffle, sewing them together for a "summer bedcover." I planned to go shopping for that. Then I was doing my volunteer shift at the thrift shop and as I straightened the shelves, I saw a pretty sheet, light weight, a high quality very soft percale with a white-on-white, with a delicate pattern. On the shelf below it was a dust ruffle of the right green color! The sheet was a queen, the right size, and the dust ruffle was for a double bed, perfect since I didn't need the ruffle at the bottom. I have a heavy head and foot board.

I brought them home, washed them, cut the dust ruffle in half, and in about 45 minutes, I had the perfect bed cover for summer! I love it!

And the whole thing cost me ....wait for it .... $3! $1.50 for each piece!

Sometimes I'm so smart I can hardly stand myself!!! chuckle!

New schedule

2011-08-02T09:12:00.000-06:00

Beginning today, I have a schedule adjustment. On Tuesdays I will be facilitating a bereavement support group late in the day (6:00 to 7:00) so I won't go into the office until around 1:00. It felt nice to not set the alarm for his morning, and believe it or not, I actually slept in a tad. I didn't wake until almost 7:00. For a person who usually wakes around 6:00, that is called "sleeping in."

As for the group, I am looking forward to it. This is the first such group I've done. I've helped individuals or a family with grief, but not a group of bereaved from differing backgrounds and stages. It will be interesting, I think.

I've been thinking about my own walk through grief a few years back. I was lucky to always have some people around me who knew my husband and had some understanding of my path. Most of the people in my group have no one local to walk with them. That's what make this so special, being able to put together a pseudo-family so each with have some others who can navigate together, albeit in different shoes.

I have two things to do on Friday night, both interesting and beginning at 7:00, and I have to make a choice. Rats. They sound like there is no comparison, but if you know me, you know the conflict. One is a lecture series at the library. They have different topics each month, this month on training service dogs. I really want to go and see if I can pick up some tips and/or decide about perhaps entering some training with one or more of my pups for therapeutic dog training. Jazi would be a really good therapeutic pet, and I think any of the others might have possibilities .... after some pre-training in obedience and socialization. They all do well once they know a person, but are nervous for the first few minutes. If you remember, that is a remarkable change from when they came home with me three years ago. Sammy literally crapped at the sight of a stranger; Max incessantly barked at new faces, etc.

The other Friday night event is going dancing with the singles group. The draw to that is obvious! I've been thinking about going to the lecture, then scurrying to the dancing, arriving late (1.5 to 2 hours). If they were closer together so driving wasn't such a factor, it would help. Ten miles from home to Capitan for the lecture (20-25 minutes), 17-19 miles to Ruidoso (another 20-25 minutes), then 17 miles home (again 20-25 minutes). That's a lot of time to spend driving. Well, I have several days to make up my mind. Knowing me, it will be Friday at about 6:00 when I decide! LOL!

Friday will hopefully be an even bigger day, as my new glasses will be in around then. I'm really eager to get them. The ones I'm wearing now have cracked and just keep getting worse. "No-frames" are great, but if you put tension on them, they do crack easily where the bows are connected to the lenses with tiny screws in the holes drilled in the lenses.

Can you see all those cracks?

And I'm getting another pair of no-frames!! I know, I know! I tried on a couple dozen frames, and I honestly just don't like the look of frames. Anyway, it will be good to have glasses with no cracks and scratches (I bumped into the car door, knocked them off and they skittered across the gravel in the driveway!!), and a new prescription that is closer to my needs today.

OK, time to get out of bed (9:11) and do a few things before getting ready for work. This has been a nice relaxing morning! Later, y'all!!

Chuckles

2011-08-02T08:21:00.000-06:00

I have time this morning for some laughs. Do you? OK, here goes!

Yeah, me, too, but my frequency is for dogs!

No kidding!!

How I pick my viewing, too ....

I have a perfectly good mower that did this to me ....

Me, too!!!

Raising boys is, well, different!

A few things I've wondered myself .....

I could see Lola doing this!

Another thing about aging ....

giggle!

Uhmmm, yeah.

Some things need no comment .....

There's a good thing about being older .... paving the way for the kids!!

Really?

sigh ....

[grin]

This isn't even funny!!!

I've played with these guys, too ....

As long as we've learned something ......

Invisibility

2011-07-31T09:41:00.001-06:00

If you are my friend on Facebook, you've already seen this, but I have more to say than FB allows. Well, I could say it in a "note," but I prefer my rambling posts to be here. Most people on FB, myself included, are there for fast updates, quick reads, and my experience is that few bother to read the more extensive "notes." So when I want to be heard/read, I come here.

This was in the morning funnies ....

(Don't forget you can click on it to enlarge, if you wasnt more detail or can't read the print)

What I said about it was "OMG, yes! One comment is all it takes!! I got one the other day, and I was floating!" And this cartoon set me thinking about the contrast to my recent post here about being "invisible" to folks under 30. I have felt myself fading into the backdrops of life for a while. It happens with aging, as younger people are focused on the sizzle and burn of their lives, and those us us who are slowing down and becoming a bit long in the tooth become less actors and more the comfortable scenery in the background.

I'll confess a bit of vanity here. I was accustomed to being lucky most of my life. I was one of the "pretty ones," the ones who got attention without trying. I also was blessed with a bubbly and attractive personality. So with aging, I just plain miss the attention of those times. Yeah, I know. Shallow as it may be, it is what I was used to, and now this blending into the background has been sometimes disheartening.

I'm aging. I know that! And I'm OK with it for the most part. Not that I like the wrinkles and sags, but I don't think of them as anything but the normal process. I look in the mirror and go "Euuw," but then I move on. If I were looking for a man in my life, it would be someone with similar creases and folds, not a hunky 40 year old with 6-pack abs, so it is alright! But believe it or not, the ignoring bothers me more than the thought of aging.

Recently I've been blessed with a couple events that were pleasant for my ego. One was as I was walking through an art show and a woman was walking toward me. We spoke pleasantries and walked on a few steps, then she turned and said, "Excuse me." When I turned she stepped close and told me how beautiful I was! She mentioned my clothing and my smile, and she said she just had to tell me because I brightened her day. We chatted for five minutes or so, and went on our separate ways.
And for the remainder of the day, I felt better about myself.

Then last week I took my car in for an oil change. The man took down all my information, we discussed the oil type,and all the necessary details. As I turned to walk away, he said, "Ma'am, may I say something?" I said, "Sure," and he told me that I was a very pretty lady, and that he had noticed my smile before. He said, "I know it is probably out of line, but I thought you should hear it."

Not out of line, at all!! I needed to hear those things! It makes a person's day when we compliment them or say something pleasant, and most of all, with those who are in our lives daily. We tend to overlook our husbands, wives, kids, parents, siblings, etc. Even coworkers, friends.

Take a note from that cartoon and from my words, and actually notice and verbalize to people around you today. No, make it this week. Today, at home, show your love and appreciation. Then next week do it outside the house. You may never know how much someone appreciates it, but they will!!

I admit it, I'm a flake

2011-07-29T19:45:00.000-06:00

OK, I confess. I flaked out. I didn't go dancing tonight. I came home from work around 3:30, and I was just too tired. Truthfully, I know that had I driven back into Ruidoso, I would probably have come alive and had fun, but the thought of driving the 25 minutes back to town was what got me! Then thinking of driving home late at night, over the mountain, as tired as I felt at 6:00 was just unbearable.

So I put on my jammies and have had a nice simple dinner. Now my feet are on the coffee table, and I'm mellowed out. I'm not regretting it. I know I need some rest. I've been dealing with a low level of fibromyalgia for about three weeks now, and I am just worn out. When I have this kind of discomfort from FMS, especially over a period of time, it just wipes me out. I'm going to bed early tonight, taking meds to stop the aching, and I hope to sleep deep enough to release some of the discomfort and tiredness.

There was a change in my schedule beyond that. The birthday celebration has been moved from tomorrow to Sunday because the birthday girl is participating in a "Wellness Experience" and an open house at a healing center. I had forgotten that I planned to go there tomorrow, not knowing my friend was a participant. So that actually works out very nicely for me. I will do some work around here in the morning, head over to the center for an hour or so, then come home and do some more work and get some rest, too. Sunday will be very busy, but it will be a day of play and spiritual refreshment. A very good thing!

I'm making this a short post so I can rest, but before I go, I have a couple requests. Prayers, first for my daughter who is having mediation for her pending divorce. It isn't getting any better (although she is handling things well) as the soon-to-be-ex keeps throwing ugliness into it all, and she could use all the prayerful support available for an end to the battle and an agreement that allows her to live reasonably on her teacher's salary. (Toss in a prayer for all teachers, as they are grossly underpaid!!) Second, my step daughter is having surgery on Tuesday. She has colon cancer, early stage, we think, and is having a bowel resection. Please keep her in your prayers for a good diagnosis, a good surgical outcome, and a gentle recovery. I'm hopeful for an easy time for her and a positive result. Can't help but be worried, though, both she and I.

And with that, I take my leave, dear hearts. Au revoir!

The weekend approacheth

2011-07-28T22:03:00.000-06:00

And it looks to be a busy one.

The singles group is going out dancing tomorrow night, then on Sunday afternoon/evening is a pizza party and game night. I'd love to go to both, but I need to see about getting real life out of the way, too! You know, that pesky house work, yard work, laundry, the dogs are beginning to need another trim, and it might be nice to rest a little, too!

Then toss in a birthday luncheon with two of my favorite ladies, one of whom is turning 65 on Saturday.

Also add trying to make it to some spiritual gatherings on Sunday. I attended a local church last week and enjoyed the service. I may go back. The service was nice, positive, joyous, and I loved that the congregation clapped in thanks to the choir and other good news. I was especially happy to learn that the minister did a joining ceremony for a gay couple recently. We may not have legalized same-sex marriage yet in NM, but with more forward thinkers like this young minister, it will happen before long. And another friend has a holistic healing center where a spiritual circle discussion is held on Sunday mornings. I want to try it out. The discussion is lead by a Unity minister, and I'm excited to learn that Unity has a presence in this community, if not a church.

So let's see how this is going to work out ....

Friday evening, dancing
Saturday midday, lunch
Sunday 9:30, circle
Sunday, 10:45, church
Sunday, 4:00, Pizza and games
House work, stuck in there somewhere
Dogs, uh, not getting trimmed this weekend!
Rest, BWAAA ha ha ha ha ha! Not flippin' likely!!

Perhaps I need to reconsider some of this. Ya think? Oh, hell, we only live once, so I plan to live it!!!!!!!

See ya on the flip side!

Laughs

2011-07-25T20:27:00.000-06:00

It has been a while since I shared some humor with you, so here goes ....

I have been here so many times!!

Jazi!!!!

Yeah, my babies, too!

Amen, sista!!!

Kids!!
\

Yeah, more of this is a good thing ....

I hear it like that sometimes, too.

Obviously a freshman!

Oh yes, you got that right, little sister!

These two cracked me up!

Tweens!!

My brother was like this to me when I was too little to fight back!!

Time flies!!

Th-th-th-that's all folks!!!

Never Ending Journey

Over and done

Age-based discrimination. Seriously!!!

A little better today

Hmmm.

Best laid plans ....

Communication these days

Goggle

Stirring the pot

Follow up

The mystery as it unfolds ....

Being green

Wake up!!!

Doing for others

Exhaustion ....

Climbing the mountain

I didn't plan this as a New Year's Post, but after finishing it up, it seems to be a pretty good one for this day. Happy New Year, and blessing on your lives, my friends.

~ ~ ~ ~

The Beauty of the Mountain is hidden for all those who try to discover it from the top, supposing that, one way or an other, one can reach this place directly. The Beauty of the Mountain reveals only to those who climbed it.- Antoine de Saint-Exupery -

~ ~ ~ ~

Bad blogger

Holidays and grief

Day at home

Wintery stuff

Growing old

What do you think?

Winter Flora Fauna & Fog ... and other good and lazy stuff

Holidays

A good Thanksgiving

I donno ....

Where is this going?

Snowflakes and Bears

I'm being courted. Well, sorta.

Stieg Larsson Trilogy .... at last!

Fall is here, fer sher

My trip

Leadville, etc.

Are you missing post updates?

Storms, stress and calm, all rolled ito one

My life

I'm a little bit back

Nice evening

And here's Lyn's side of it ....

Jazi says ....

Good news/bad news

Icky day

Woe is me ... yeah, a feeling-sorry-for-me-and-getting-better post

Random and odd

Saturday lazy stuff

Morning at my place

Reunions

Sunday smiles

Overdue photos

I don't miss ...

All creatures, wild and tame

Looooong weeks and long weekends

I miss ....

Hike!

Rocks

a terrible day

Birds, beds and bugs

Looking around

Interesting light

Sunday Funnies

From the earth to the skies .... I'm covering it all!

Late night realization

OK, OK, OK, I gots sumptin AGAIN!!!

I gots sumptin!!

It's raining, and I'm in a dry spell

Chuckles and chortles

GROUNDED!!!

Laughs and sighs

Slow

Giggles and grins

It's all about me!

New schedule

Chuckles

Invisibility

I admit it, I'm a flake

The weekend approacheth

The Beauty of the Mountain is hidden for all those who try to discover it from the top, supposing that, one way or an other, one can reach this place directly. The Beauty of the Mountain reveals only to those who climbed it.

- Antoine de Saint-Exupery -