These are random musings of my life journey, the people, animals, places, and events which have woven, and continue to weave, a tapestry that is me. We all know there is no real destination, only the ongoing experiences which blend together, creating the trail. Each step gives a glimpse of what is to come, without allowing me to see the end result. It is exciting. I have a home base that is mine, that gives me a place to rest. This is it. This is where my heart is, no matter where I journey...................

Thursday, July 07, 2016

...And my own changes

Since last post in 2013, my life has changed in more ways than the pup family. It has been a busy three years, sometimes a bit too busy. But I would not change it.

I've been working at a home health and hospice agency for five and a half years now. I started out as a part time coordinator of hospice volunteers and coordinator of bereavement services. I've enjoyed it a lot. People often say "How can you do something that is so sad?" It is not sad. Supporting people who are nearing the end of their lives and the families who are there with them, is a real blessing. People are usually very real, genuine at this stage of life. Being a part of the support system to help make the transition as painless as possible is sobering, but is also one of the most reassuring experiences ever. Sometimes, there is forgiveness and healing; occasionally, people learn a lot about themselves and their loved ones; at times, it is filled with love and sweetness; rarely, it is stressful and agonizing, as families find out things about themselves long hidden away. With the bereavement program, I am privileged to be with the family as they begin to heal, to find their way back to normalcy.

Our agency was locally owned. That is nice, more personal. But competing against the large companies around the country is very difficult. About three years ago, the agency was sold to a large nationwide corporation. The change was very difficult for many of us. We stumbled along for a long several months until things began to fall into a recognizable form. Believe me, going from a small  staff of about 20-25 to being part of a huge company like that, one that is "ruled" from afar, is a tough change. After a few months of rearranging, relearning, readjusting, we began to be comfortable except for one thing. Our social worker had left and a replacement could not be found. The position was part time, so finding someone in this small, rural community who was not already working full or was interested in working in part time was not happening.

Then, the VP of Hospice flew into Ruidoso to talk to me. Would I be interested in taking the position? I had retired my license in 2005, while Glenn was dying. After thinking it over a couple weeks, I agreed. The company paid for the relicensing expenses (a nearly year long process!!) and I became a full time employee as Medical Social Worker, Bereavement Coordinator and Volunteer Coordinator!

I'm working 32 hours a week, Monday through Thursday, so I have three days off to rest and recuperate. It is working pretty well for me, and I'm loving being back in the field again. I enjoyed retirement, but I missed the work, too. Having long weekends allows me to have lots of time with friends, the pups, and to enjoy life, balanced with doing the work I love. Sometimes, it is hard. I'm actually on a vacation as I write this. I began to feel stress a few weeks ago, not for anything wrong, but just needing a break. So I'm enjoying a ten day reprieve. I've enjoyed being lazy!

Otherwise, my life is about the same as always. I'm still single, and I probably will always be. I have no inclinations toward remarrying, and I enjoy living alone, believe it or not.  I know better than to say "never," but I don't see it. I was in a singles group for a year, and that was nice because no one was looking for dates. It was just a group of great people who enjoyed company, playing board games, taking short trips, having potlucks, and dancing. But in the end, I'm very contented with my job, my circle of friends, and the four-legged family I have.  I enjoy life.

Yes, life is good, for sure! And I still have that wonderful view!

Wednesday, July 06, 2016

The little family

I'm thinking about resurrecting the blog. It's mostly a matter of finding time, energy, and creative juices. I've been busy enough for several years now that I don't know if it will happen, but we will see.

A lot has happened since I last published. My sweet Lolita died. She had cancer and was gone rather quickly once we knew it. I miss her often. Actually, we miss her very much. She was such a lively spirit. She was the active, funny, flirty little sweetie of the gang. When she passed away, Joey especially grieved her. He quit eating and just laid down. I had to feed him special foods and carried him in and out to potty for a couple weeks before he finally began to come out of the funk. Before that, they didn't show a lot of connection, but we humans don't always know, do we?

I added Bella, a Havanese. She is a sweetheart, although she has a "spooky" nature, and even after being with us for over a year, is still a bit skittish. It's OK. She will get there, and in the meantime, she is just a cuddly little love. She doesn't come to me when I call her name (which she came with), but I recently called her Lola by mistake, and she perked up her ears. I'm calling her "LolaBella" and she seems to like that! Who knew?

She was originally from a breeder, but didn't work out in that family. Apparently she never bonded with the  man in the family, so they gave her up. My rescue people in Oklahoma got her, and I brought her home a little over a year ago.
Since my older dogs are....well, older, they play a few minutes, then they want to rest, but LolaBella has a lot of energy and wants to play a lot, so I got a precious little Maltese named Jewel to be her playmate. Oh, she was such a love! I brought her home, and within a couple months, we found that she had congestive heart failure. She was with us just 7 months, to my great sadness. When I say she was such a love, that just begins to describe her. She imprinted on my heart in that short time in a way I can't even describe. She blessed us greatly, as all the dogs seemed to love her.

 LolaBella was lost without her playmate, Jewel, so I brought home our newest family member, Ginger. She is different from the others who are all long haired (Shih Tzu, Havanese, Shih-Poo). She is supposed to be a Yorkie mix, and she is colored like that, but she is as big as my others, around 10 pounds, with shorter, wiry hair. I think the "mix" part might be Jack Russell. Lawdy, does she have energy!! She is bouncy, runs everywhere she goes, and is just a character! She is just just over a year old. She fell right into the family as if she knew she belonged here with us. She and LolaBella are great buds, chasing, wrestling, and being "kids" all the time. She has been a good addition.

Ginger has made herself at home! She has claimed one of the kennels as her private quarters, thank you very much! Would you look at the stash of toys in there with her??

So, now the family consists of................

Joey, our senior citizen at 14 years old. He and Jazi were found wandering the roads of Oklahoma, and he was her protector. He is a love if ever there was one. 

Jazi, the leader of the pack, our Alpha dog at 10 pounds and 10 years. She is really a pistol, but like Joey, showing her age. They both have glaucoma, but when I say "eyes," they line up front and center for the eye drops.

Sammy, the first of these babies to come to my home. Terrified puppy mill survivor who is the
absolutely sweetest little guy in the world. He is now 12.

Max. Oh, does he want to be Alpha, but it is not to be! He was a street dog, a survivor, as proven by escaping the yard when I was out of town and living on his own for a week in a foot of snow. Max is now 10.

LolaBella, little squirrel. She is the shyest, most lovable little 5 year old you'll ever meet. She loves her siblings, she loves to play and she is really glad to have her new sissy, Ginger.

 Ginger, just a year old, has more energy than any dog should have! She is precious. She is smart.  One redirection and she has the rule down.....well, except for eviscerating stuffed toys. I figure it is just an uncontrollable urge to protect the whole family from those little furry monsters, so.....

 So there you go, the update on the family. It's all good. We miss Lolita and Jewel, but they had a good life here with us. I think their spirits live on, still with us. 

Wednesday, November 20, 2013

Witness description of a car accident

This is very, very funny! I seriously laughed until tears were rolling and I was coughing! Maybe you should go pee before you listen to this. I know it shouldn't be this funny to talk about a car accident, but you'll understand when you hear it!

Here is what the intro said:
When this guy calls his boss to tell him he’s running a little late, he witnesses a car accident and begins the best play-by-play commentary you’ll ever hear.
Right after the car accident happens, the caller states that a man gets out of his car as if the other car was at fault. What happens next is pure entertainment.
The witness leaves the literal blow-by-blow action to his boss while laughing hysterically.
Apparently this is the real deal, and how could it not be? This is too good to make up.
 Sorry, I couldn't post the vid here. Something wasn't working right, just not blog-friendly, but just click on the link below.

Kids Lip-Syncing A Wonderful Christmas Song

This was sent to me via an email, and it is a fabulous, funny, sweet video!  These kids are truly priceless!  I laughed so hard the dogs were checking me out, and I had to watch it again. And again! It's great!


Kids Lip-Syncing A Wonderful Christmas Song

Tuesday, November 19, 2013

Existential Bummer

This came from a friend whose life is winding down, perhaps more rapidly than some of the rest of us. We had a long, sweet talk about living life fully, whatever that means to each of us, and the joys of having friends who are there to the end, those who love us in spite of ourselves.  It is sweet and wise.

Remember to enjoy life as much as possible, to live it as big as you can, because you just never know .....

Tuesday, November 05, 2013

Random thoughts

  • I am a big fan of 1950s oldies music. Always have been. It's the music I grew up with, through grade school (older sibling listened to it), through junior high and high school. Just recently, I wanted something different, and I thought, "Well, I liked some of the '60s music, too," so I flipped the Sirius radio in the car to that station. I'm so glad I did! I'd forgotten about a lot of that music, yet I enjoyed it "back in the day." I graduated from high school in 1962, so it was the music of those couple years, and then through my young adult years it is what I listened to. So glad I found the other part of my memory-music!
  • As I've listened to that era, I have been reminded how much I like Neil Diamond's music. Almost all his songs touch me deeply for some reason. Haven't figured out the reason, but they do. And always did, but I forgot!
  • I've had a little crush on Harrison Ford for years, but I didn't realize it until just recently!
  • It is interesting to watch the trackers on the blog. Recently (last few days), there has been a huge influx of visitors from all around the world:  Brazil, Argentina, France, Italy,  Poland, Macedonia, Japan, Mexico, Honduras, Russian Federation, Kuwait, Finland, Israel, Switzerland, .... and of course, the usual ....UK,  and Canada. I wonder why?
  • I've noticed something that bothers me. In this age of media addiction, with people spending more and more time with TV, movies, the internet, there are some awful examples of what examples we give our children. Lines such as: little girl, "What is a humanitarian?" father, "Someone who hasn't won an Oscar." and the dad walks out of the room. If a parent in real life says such a thing and doesn't explain the "satire" in it, I wonder what youngsters and young parents take away from that movie about how to parent.
  • My life is good!

Sunday, October 06, 2013

What's up with Jazmyn?

Since early September, Jazmyn has been very determined to be close to me. It's not that she is clingy, never leaves my side, but she has been more likely to want to be beside me on the couch or in bed. She has always "assumed" that she belongs near me, as she is the alpha dog, but this is above and beyond that.

Like right now. She has wedged herself between my thigh and the back of the couch. Then she rolled herself back, so she is leaning against the couch, sitting up like a little person, tucked under my arm, and against my ribs. She sits like this a lot. She used to do it occasionally, but now it is every day, more than once if the chance presents.

So why is she doing this? What brought it on? I don't know, but there are several things that have happened in the time frame around this.

First, this summer I learned a new way to deal with the dogs when they are frightened by thunder. Jazi has been afraid of thunder for quite a long time, I want to say about 4-5 years. Gradually the other dogs have picked up on her fear, so when there is thunder, I have five dogs on me, near me, close by. Sometimes, it smothers me! I was talking to a friend who is a psychic. She uses her skills, free of charge to help bring lost animals back. If you've read here for a while, you might remember when I was in Florida and Max ran away. She helped me and the house sitter to bring him home. Anyway, I was at her house one day this summer, and it began thundering. I said I should get home because of the dogs. She mentioned that her dogs (Great Pyrenees) were afraid of it, too, but she told them "It's just government business." When she does, they are OK. Strange, right?  Well, I asked her what that means, and she said she really doesn't know, but one of her dog spirits told her that. When she asked what it meant, the spirit just laughed and didn't give her an answer to that. But it worked, so she didn't care.

So I began using that phrase. It worked!!! It took several attempts before it worked, but within a couple weeks, the thunder wasn't a big deal! Now, I admit, they still like to sit near me when there is a storm or if the jets from the Air Force base are flying patterns over us, but none of them lose their cool anymore. Jaz used to shake so hard that she could hardly breathe, and now she just stays close to me, looking a bit worried, but no shaking.

So .... is Jaz relieved and thankful that I gave her peace and a quality of life free of that wrenching fear with the silly phrase "It's just government business"?

I finally .... finally .... secured the deck so that she can no longer escape. I've wondered if she feels safe at long last. She is finally  able to be in our home spot with no fear and with fear no longer driving her to seek whatever it is that she has sought before.

So .... is it the security that causes her to be comfortable and contented. Does she understand that I did that for her?

In early  September, I was gone to a retreat for the Healing Touch. I wasn't gone completely, as I was home at night, but the four days were long with me leaving early in the morning, around 7:30, and not getting home until around 8:00 at night. I've thought about the fact that she might have been afraid I was going to leave her, and has decided to keep me in her sights.

So .... is Jazmyn determined to stay as close as possible because I was gone too much?

Recently I was talking with a friend about this, and she proposed something I hadn't thought about. She said that she has seen or felt a significant shift in me since the retreat. The shift is a good one, a healthy shift toward my spiritual side. She said she has sensed a truly warm, welcoming, loving aura that just keeps growing and expanding all the time. And her thought was that perhaps Jazi is sensing this and simply wants to be near me, connected to the aura. Hmm. Interesting thought.

So .... is Jazi basking in the beautiful energy that I'm learning to work with?

I have no idea, but I'm enjoying having her close. Jazmyn has been a special little dog since the get-go. I love all five, each in her/his own way, but Jazi is"my baby."  And it's so sweet to have her being my special, close puppy-friend these days.

My life is good these days. It is peaceful, low-key, simple. In fact, I haven't said this i a long time, but it seems quite appropriate .....

.... Life is beautiful!!!!

Wednesday, October 02, 2013

Deep thoughts this morning

A couple things I've read this morning have brought me to much thought:

“Make a radical change in your lifestyle and begin to boldly do things which you may previously never have thought of doing, or been too hesitant to attempt. So many people live within unhappy circumstances and yet will not take the initiative to change their situation because they are conditioned to a life of security, conformity, and conservation, all of which may appear to give one peace of mind, but in reality nothing is more damaging to the adventurous spirit within a man than a secure future. The very basic core of a man's living spirit is his passion for adventure. The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun. If you want to get more out of life, you must lose your inclination for monotonous security and adopt a helter-skelter style of life that will at first appear to you to be crazy. But once you become accustomed to such a life you will see its full meaning and its incredible beauty."
— Jon Krakauer

 and .....

Eyes wide open, expecting the best but camouflage spots prepared to hide. The fawn is like the delicate and vulnerable part in all of us; wanting to trust, but needing to protect. We live in this blurred space between innocence and protection. Nurture your inner fawn so you can find your feet, set healthy boundaries and experience as much love and wonder as possible.

What do you think?  Please think about this a moment before you read on, because I want your reflections, your response to my question to be yours, not influenced by my own thoughts.

~    ~    ~    ~

I agree with both. The first I had to re-read to absorb it, but after I did, I realize I do allow randomness in my life, more and more as time goes on, because I am finding peace in "allowing." I am allowing myself to be led by my higher spirit. There is great joy in that, and comfort in that I know I am guided in my randomness. I am growing so much since I have let go of many expectations for what I can and can't do, and I am letting myself expand beyond what I thought could be possible.

As for the second ... I am cautious about decisions regarding who I will allow into my inner circle. What trips me up is having allowed a person in and then having something go wrong. Perhaps they have hidden a trait, perhaps I overlooked it, or we grow apart in some way, and the parting is, well, ungraceful. Balancing between caution and my natural habit of accepting people where they are, as they present themselves, can be tricky. I think I'm doing better, although the last couple years have been a challenge. I've let my guard down a few times, haven't minded my boundaries, and I've been pushed. The work problems have been mostly because I trusted others to be professional and ethical without giving it much thought. I should know that people aren't always honest about things when it comes to "getting ahead." In my personal life, I accept people as they present, but don't allow them close until I am sure who they are. A few mistakes here and there, but overall, a good balance, I think.

~    ~    ~    ~

 Be happy today!