These are random musings of my life journey, the people, animals, places, and events which have woven, and continue to weave, a tapestry that is me. We all know there is no real destination, only the ongoing experiences which blend together, creating the trail. Each step gives a glimpse of what is to come, without allowing me to see the end result. It is exciting. I have a home base that is mine, that gives me a place to rest. This is it. This is where my heart is, no matter where I journey...................

Sunday, June 11, 2006

Loneliness

I've noticed that Sunday evenings seem to be hard for me. I'm not sure why. Perhaps because it seems to be a time for most families when everyone is home together. I think about the times long ago when the children were still here. Sunday evening was generally a rather quiet time with everyone preparing for the coming week and just kinda kicking back. I tend to feel loneliest at this time. It is a little hard to explain what it is like. I'm not depressed, I'm lonely. There is a significant difference. I wish I had some one(s) with whom I could spend this time . So tonight I'm feeling rather mopey and wishing the phone would ring, but knowing that families are doing family things.

I wonder if my parents or my mother-in-law ever had the Sunday-night-blues. My parents had each other right to the end, although Mom was absent due to Alzheimer
's. Dad might well have missed the company. He never said so. He wouldn't.

When my husband was alive Sunday was like any other night. He watched TV, I read or did a crossword or worked on something that busied my hands. We didn't talk much, but there was another human in the house and while there was a loneliness, it wasn't as flat as it is now. Since coming back to the house, I've had to face a lot of new experiences. This is
just one of many.

Well, clearly I have some adjusting to do. It is part of the process, I understand that. Boy, is it hard sometimes.

I think I'll end with a couple pictures of my favorite sunsets:

The soft pastels of New Mexico.

















And the vivid sky over Florida:















Ahh. Now I feel better. Goodnight, all.

5 comments:

  1. I can understand this feeling. I went through something very similar some time ago, and I came up with a Sunday night ritual that got me out of the house and that helped a lot.

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  2. I am sorry you have been feeling that lately. I know what you mean about feeling lonely on Sunday nights. When I was alone I think Sundays were always hard for me also. Next time just call me and Laura and we'll entertain you and make you forget about your loneliness. Hang in there, just a few more weeks of life here in Missouri. Love your pictures BTW.

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  3. ragged - I thought about that, too. I don't know what to plan for Sun evening, but I'll figure out something. Thanks.

    Caroline - Thanks. By the time I'm feeling blue, it is late enough that I know y'all are close to if not in bed.If it gets to the stage of being a concern, I'll call regardless of the hour. Then I won't be sad any more, 'cause you'll be hollering at me about waking you up!! No, seriously, thanks.

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  4. Caroline - I got the clock from same place as yours. I'm amazed that I got it in the right spot!! I'll get this stuff down yet!

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If you have something to say about it, just stick out your thumb, and I'll slow down so you can hop aboard! But hang on, 'cause I'm movin' on down the road!!! No time to waste!!!