Today has been a pivotal day for me. Several small things have come together in a meaningful way over the last couple days. As Allan said this evening,the universe has opened some doors and/or windows, and I'm ready to step through.
It all comes down to this . . . I've begun looking at real estate. I'm only at the first tiny step, checking Multiple Listing Service to get a feel for what is available. I told Allan that I think I've put it off for several reasons.
First, I needed to just settle down and let the feathers quit floating . . . no, flurrying . . . around me. I've been functioning on overdrive for a long, long time. Even when I was in Florida last winter, I didn't completely relax because I knew there was a lot of work ahead of me when I returned to KC. I operated at an accelerated pace while in KC. Then I arrived here in NM, and the first 2-3 weeks were still busy with unpacking and finding a place for my necessary living items without totally disrupting Allan's home, various guests being here, dealing with Mai Lin's illness and death, the anniversary of Glenn's death, worries about the other two dogs, etc.
But the last week or so, I've begun to allow myself to feel the ground under my feet. As you know, I've made a decision to stay in this area rather than Albuquerque, as I originally planned. I've learned enough of the streets and highways to be able to get around reasonably by myself, and in these recent days, I've noticed an increasing need to find my own home in this community that I have already made mine. I know. I've been saying that for some time. It is now at the surface and not backing away from me. It is becoming a need rather than a far away wish. I know now that I want to be here.
This brings me to my second point. I believe I've put off the initial step of house hunting because I was afraid that I wouldn't find anything that I would be happy with in my price range. I excused it from my mind by saying that I needed to wait until the KC house sold. I was probably fearing disappointment, so I didn't open the proverbial Pandora's box that might bring what I feared most. If I don't look, I won't have to face my limitations.
In the last 24 hours, as I mentioned, several small pieces of the whole began to fall into place. I almost feel that I've watched the gears of a machine slide together, meshing all the cogs in just the right places, and then beginning to move, each helping the others toward being a working piece of equipment. It began last night when I said to myself that I need to get the house in KC off my shoulders, even if I don't get the price I want. After all, every month it sits there, I make a payment. Every month I'm not able to move into a new home, I'm paying on storage units in KC and Albuquerque. Hells-bells! That all adds up to a house payment on a new home here! So dropping the price and getting it out of my life makes a lot of sense.
So I began reading the ads. And I'm thrilled! It looks as if I will not only be able to buy in my price range, but I can get far more home than I'd hoped for! Allan will act as my realtor, beneficial to us both. He knows my taste and needs better than anyone else would, and he will search out whatever homes I come up with, as well as keeping his eyes and ears open to others. I will benefit because he has special interest in making sure the home is the right one, and we'd both rather he have the commission than John Doe, Realtor.
Tomorrow I will continue the research, emailing him the MLS #s, and he will take it from there. I know he isn't going to let me buy something in the wrong area or that has potential problems. He knows the builders to avoid. He doesn't want me to move back in because he sells me crap!! I'd never let him hear the end of it!! Kidding, of course, but clearly, he has special interest in this.
Could life be any better? I don't think so. I am so psyched that I can't sleep! I can hardly wait to start seeing the houses in person! It is time. I want to let my roots begin to shoot into the ground under me again. I'm tired of not having a place that is really home for me and for the "kids." Ali and China deserve having security of a place of their own, too. And I'd like to get my furniture from KC moved before the winter weather begins to throw up roadblocks.
I'm sending pleas to the universe, prayers to heaven and the four winds for the intended buyer for the KC home to surface now!! It is time. It really is time, my time. And I'm ready!! Wish me luck!