These are random musings of my life journey, the people, animals, places, and events which have woven, and continue to weave, a tapestry that is me. We all know there is no real destination, only the ongoing experiences which blend together, creating the trail. Each step gives a glimpse of what is to come, without allowing me to see the end result. It is exciting. I have a home base that is mine, that gives me a place to rest. This is it. This is where my heart is, no matter where I journey...................

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Am I Courageous?

I did it again today, but not as severely as yesterday. I took the dogs to the groomer, came home and cleaned out the inside of my truck in preparation for my trip. I took everything out so I could clean the inside, but rather than carry the vacuum down the stairs and spent thirty minutes at that, I got my new leaf blower. Then I opened all four doors, removed the floor mats, and turned on the blower. It says on the box that it exhausts at 210 miles per hour, so that ought to do it, right? And it did! Then I cleaned the inside of all the windows, wiped down all surfaces, repacked things in the storage area, replaced the mats, then washed all the outside windows and mirrors. I didn't realize how dirty the windows were! While I was doing that, I washed the dogs little mats/beds that are kept in the car.

After I picked up the kids, I came home and decided to do some repairs to the deck and stairs. I pulled all the loose nails and replaced them with screws. A few nails I couldn't pull, so I just put a screw in beside it. The steps feel so solid now! I wanted to get as many of the squeaky, spongy-feeling boards tightened before it got cold enough that I wouldn't want to be out there. Now it should hold up till spring when I can sand the surface, replace more nails with screws and give the deck boards a good treatment.

Then I got lazy. I called Gail who was in town and suggested that she bring home a pizza for dinner! Pizza and beer for dinner! Hurray!!

And today I was honored with another award. Thank you, Sherry.

I'm not sure how she defined courage, but I have my own thoughts about it. I think we are all courageous, at least sometimes in our lives. Do we realize it? I don't know. I think I recognize it after the fact sometimes, other times, perhaps not at all. Reflecting back over my life I see times when I had courage to be different, to make changes in my life or help others change theirs, to stand up for something in which I saw merit. Occasionally I had the courage to speak out for myself or others. Sometimes I had the courage to try something new, to strike a path over unexplored territory. So I guess I have had courage ... or would you say that I might have been foolish on those occasions?

I could have been hurt at times. I can remember a few times when I placed myself between two people squared off and potentially could have been injured. Luckily I wasn't. That probably wasn't too smart, but as I said, at the time we don't think about some things, we just do.

I must have had courage over the recent years as my life has taken drastic twists and turns, and I've pushed ahead into new experiences. It wasn't without trepidation. I was often scared. Can one be scared and courageous at the same time? I think so. Sometimes the momentum of running scared carries us right into the thick of things and we just act on instinct. That's what I've done. I'm not afraid to share my journey on my blog. I don't know if I'm courageous to do this, but it seems to be a good thing for me. Writing about it makes me realize what I've done, where I've been, and that at least most of the time, how well I've managed through the challenges I've faced.

Sherry, who sent this my way, and Jen, who honored her, certainly are courageous. They've both waged the battle with cancer. They both live life large. That's courageous.

Caroline has survived a terrible religious indoctrination, an ill-fated marriage, and the challenges of coming out and a family that deserted her when she needed them most. She chose to refuse to allow all that negativity get her down. She fought ... and is fighting ... back. That's courageous.

Traci also had a very rough childhood and an early adulthood that was just as damaging, and she works daily to put it all behind her. When it comes at her again she rears up and stomps it down. That's courage.

Jenn is raising her little girl with stumbling blocks thrown at her by a really lousy ex. She stands strong against his interference, keeping her child in her focus at all times. That's courage.

Feel free to take this and run with it. What does "Courageous" mean to you? Are you courageous? Who do you know who is a Courageous Blogger?

~ ~ ~ ~

PS - See the post below for quotes about courage. I added it this morning as an after thought.


  1. I think those who do not let age define them and never quit are courageous.
    What a very cool post!

  2. I would say I was highly UNcorageous before I had kids. Somehow, they woke me up and made me realize I couldn't run away from confrontation anymore...

    Congrats on the award! And yes, you are courageous!

  3. Orion, welcome! I think you're right about age. I try to be simply who I am in life, and I rarely consider age as part of the definition. It is part of the picture, but not the frame. Thanks for stopping by!

    Catherine - Interesting analysis. I look back and see some courageous potential in my younger years, but yes, having one's children makes one rush into battle with or without armor, doesn't it? Thanks!

  4. I think courage can be defined in different ways for different people. I have a friend that is battling cancer and is in his 9th year of doing so. He used to be 6-5, a big guy, former professional baseball pitcher. He is stooped over and about 5-9 now from the bone cancer and all the dreadful and draining chemo. He has been near death several times, but will NOT surrender. He battles on while visiting other patients each day at the cancer center to encourage and help them with his own experience. He is my model of 'grace under pressure'; another definition of courage.
    Good post.

  5. Lynilu, you have summed this up so well..your thoughts on courage resonate...which is why I chose you as a courageous blogger. Stepping up to the plate, stepping into the light, stepping into the darkness without a light ..the light from within being all we have.
    Courage to me is knowing the ending of the book but reading it anyway...meaning, I know how this life will end, I know that it will end. But I get up every day, pull up my big girl panties and say "what joy does this one hold"...courage is loving yourself and loving the flaws as much as the wonderful qualities. Courage is saying no and meaning it. Courage is saying yes to something that you know won't be pleasant. Courage is being able to look yourself in the eye and saying "I am a good person, I am okay with who I am". Courage is being able to apologize with sincerity. Courage is loving and continuing to love ... no matter what. And I could go on. Life is courage. It's in all of us. We only have to look.

  6. Seven - I agree that "courage" takes on personal attributes. I admire people like your friend who take on the huge battles that make the rest of us gasp. "Grace under pressure" is a great definition of courage. Thanks.

    Sherry - Wow. All I can say to follow your comment is "Amen." I can't top your last paragraph.

  7. I think courage is to be brave. It's the quality of mind or spirit that enables a person to face difficulty, danger, pain, etc., without fear.

  8. PS. Oh and congratulations on your award!!!

  9. Thank you so much for this award. When I look at you and all you have done in the last two years I really do see someone that has a whole lot of courage. You should be very proud of yourself.

    As for me..sometimes I struggle to see that I do have courage because there are so many times when I feel like a coward. But since you think I have courage and we all know what you say goes...I will believe you. :)

  10. Daisy - I'd disagree on just one thing ... I don't see courage as being free of fear. Sometimes the fear actually drive us to be courageous, I think. Sometimes it is after the fact that I realize I was terrified but charged ahead anyway.

    And thanks. Be courageous in all you do.

    Caroline - Let's just say I see you differently that you do. I can't remember a time when you didn't go ahead and see through to the end of a tough time in your life. A few times you *wanted* to not see it through; a few times you *tried* to find a short cut; but *never* did you not face it and get through it. Yeah, that's courage. And you'd *better* believe me! LOL!!

  11. Awesome awesome post! Yay for courageous women!

  12. You are so deserving of this one!! I think of courage simply as doing what you have to do even when you're scared.

    The bloggers you chose absolutely deserve this award as well!

  13. Patti - Thank you, and yes, Yay!

    Jenster - Oh, thank you. Good definition of Courage!


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