These are random musings of my life journey, the people, animals, places, and events which have woven, and continue to weave, a tapestry that is me. We all know there is no real destination, only the ongoing experiences which blend together, creating the trail. Each step gives a glimpse of what is to come, without allowing me to see the end result. It is exciting. I have a home base that is mine, that gives me a place to rest. This is it. This is where my heart is, no matter where I journey...................

Tuesday, February 05, 2008

All Better Now

As good as this sky is beautiful!!!

Let me say this right off the bat ... being seriously ill and being alone are not a good duo.

I felt fine most of the day on Sunday. I got the futon put together in just about three hours, spent the next few hours making a pot of chili, cleaning house and doing several half finished projects around here. Then I sat down to watch the commercials Super Bowl. Gail called and I invited her to stop and have some chili, but she had just finished eating with her brother and his wife. In retrospect, I’m glad she didn’t come over.

Toward the end of the game, I began feeling odd. Not sick, just not quite right somehow. A couple spells of vague dizziness that just passed quickly, and some muscle achiness. I thought I'd over done it with the futon building and tasks, or perhaps the fibromyalgia was kicking up.

From there on, it was all down hill. I spent the night going to and from the bathroom. I'll spare you those details. In between trips, I lay in the bed in a kind of fog that I've experienced on a few other, rare occasions. I was very near hallucinations. I knew I had flu medication, but I couldn't quite figure out where, or rather, I couldn't quite get myself to look for it, although I was walking/running past it every trip. I wondered if I had a fever, but, like the medications, I couldn't make my body go get it. I debated in my head whether I had flu or food poisoning, leading to the realization I'd left the chili, packed for the freezer, on the counter top. But I was unable to get myself to the kitchen to put it away. My mind vacillated between my illness, the chili, the medication, the thermometer, and back again, without me being able to do anything about anything. The only other thought I had was how alone I was.

This is the first time I have been seriously ill and completely alone. At the risk of sounding melodramatic, in my daze I truly wondered how this would turn out. I was frankly too sick to be scared. I thought of calling Allan or Gail and just telling them I was sick, but I couldn't figure out whether it was a good idea or not. The fact that it was the middle of the night seemed to say I shouldn't call, but........ All thoughts were incomplete, trailing off to the next one, but always in a circular pattern, over and over. When it really hit me was Monday evening and Tuesday morning when I began to realize just how sick I was, how “out of it” it was. It was not a fun realization. During Sunday night, I’m not sure what kept me going and doing the small things I did that helped me get through.

The one and only thing I did that made sense through that night was that I managed to fix a weak tea by dropping a tea bag into a glass of water. I brought that and a tube of crackers to bed with me, and managed to nibble a couple crackers between episodes of vomiting while sipping a bit of the tea to settle my stomach. If possible. It helped a tad.

Monday morning came, and I was better. "Better" in this case means the bathroom dashes stopped at about 6:00 AM. I finally fell asleep until 10:30. When I woke I remembered where the medication was as well as the thermometer. I took my temperature which was, at this time a low grade fever, just over 100. And I knew I needed to take the flu medication, but I could hardly face it on an empty stomach. I managed to get part of a piece of toast down with some tea.

Monday I slept off and on all day long. I was incredibly weak and tired. The aching in my whole body was nearly unbearable. I moved from the bed to the couch to the recliner, sleeping for a while everywhere that I stopped. I had to force myself to eat, but I knew I needed to get something down. It was toast and tea all day long and chicken noodle soup for dinner. I decided to give up and go to bed at about 7:30. Just before I crawled into bed, I suddenly wanted ... an ice cream float!! /at that moment, I knew I would live!! After drinking about 2/3 of it, I fell asleep sometime around 8:00 and slept until 7:30 Tuesday morning!!

I was still weak all day today, Tuesday, but at least I could think clearly. I spent the day just being lazy and letting my body heal itself. My biggest physical complaint was a severe backache, something that happens when I am in a reclining position for very long. In other words, I laid around too much! Fortunately I had one of those wonderful one-time-use back muscle warmers, and I wore it most of the day with wonderful relief. By the time I went to bed I was feeling my old self.

I want to thank everyone again for the kind thoughts, prayers, encouraging notes. Gail offered to bring me more soup. Da Boss called me to see if he could bring me anything. Coworker AL was running errands in Ruidoso, and she stopped at my vet’s office to bring food for the babies. I was planning to pick some up Monday as I had just enough for that day, so she made the babies happy. It was nice that everyone thought of me, in spite of my concerns about being alone. It is good to know that some friends are around that “have my back.”

I took some pictures of the mountains and sky this morning. Not sunrise, but a beautiful morning already under way.

And it was just a lovely this evening. Some things are simply beautiful, no matter.

Life is beautiful!!!


  1. I'm glad you're feeling better honey.

  2. I am so sorry to hear how sick you were! That is scary to be alone and sick. Next time - call someone, so they can at least check on you once in a while! Better yet, how about no "next time"?! Being THAT sick is not something that needs to be repeated. Ugh.

    Stay healthy!

  3. I'm so glad you're better..And yes it sucks when you're sick and you're alone..Believe me, I know! :)
    (Yep, I'm still around..I just don't keep a blog faithfully anymore. Still reading yours and others though! ;)

  4. Traci, thanks so very much, but you're only an nth as happy as I am!!

    Dakota, the thing is that the brain doesn't work logically when I'm like that, and it is hard to judge just how sick you really are. yeah, I like "no next time" really well. I honestly don't get very sick often, as least not to the cessation-of-thought extent.

    Hey, J!! How good to hear from you! How is school going? I would love to catch up. I'll slip over to your blog, but it sounds like you need to email me with an update, girl! Thanks for the kind words. I know you know about being alone and being sick. I remember one of your posts about it. Stinks, doesn't it?

  5. I sure thought about you being alone and I was worried about you! Glad you are better honey!

  6. Catching up . . .glad you are on the mend, and that you have such beauteeeful scenery to look at. I think I may have to visit your part of the world . . .

  7. Patti, yeah, since I got my thinking back on track, I've made a plan that should help for the next time (god forbid!!). I won't hesitate to call someone close by and just say, "check on me over the next few hours to be sure I'm OK." Having rationally decided it is OK to wake someone (!!) I think I will actually remember and do it if it is necessary. Thanks for caring!

    Beans, thanks, I'm much better. It is gorgeous here! If you decide to make a trip this way, let me know! :D

  8. Wow - scary to be that sick. I'm glad you are doing so much better now.

  9. Egad....I haven't been able to read my favorite blogs due to limited internet access. So glad you are feeling better. I had flu like that once and know how bad you can feel. At least I had hubby with me then...

    Take care & get 110% better!!

  10. I'm late to the "party" and had no idea you'd been so sick...I'm sorry you went through that alone -- it is a horrible feeling to be sure...I think in future if that happens, you really do need to call either Gail or Allan, just to let them know so they can check up on you. It isn't that you expect to need anything, but there are times when you might and establishing that routine now before it happens again is probably best. Honestly Lynilu -- would you "mind" in the least being wakened in the night if either of them called you and needed you? No. So you know they wouldn't mind either...we do this too often -- feel we aren't important enough or our situation doesn't warrant it -- when all we often need is t know that someone else knows and someone else cares. Promise that you will set this up and do it!! xoxoxoxo Be better.

  11. Patti, thank you for the thoughts. It was no picnic, fer sher!

    Casey, yeah, I hope to never, ever be that sick again. Gaaaahhh. I'm just glad it didn't last very long.

    Froggi, I've been following and knew you were somewhat out of pocket. Yeah, I hear you ... It is SO different when we are alone, so take care of yourself out there! And learn from my experience ... have some sort of plan so you don't have to try to figure it out in a fuzzy state!

    And Sherry, I've already had that talk with myself. It was completely ridiculous, but my thinking was so blurry. Since I've "awakened" from the yucky dream, I've made a plan, and at the top of the list is: Call someone and ask them to check on me, call every couple hours, just to be sure. There is a world of difference between trying to sort out those issues with my head in the mud and doing it when the head is reasonably clear! I promise, but it is already done!


If you have something to say about it, just stick out your thumb, and I'll slow down so you can hop aboard! But hang on, 'cause I'm movin' on down the road!!! No time to waste!!!