Before you read this, sit down. Wait. Before you do that, go pee so you don't pee your pants from laughing at me. Then sit down. Yeah, I did a pee-in-your-pants-funny thing today.
For lunch, I fixed myself a bistro-style sausage. I found these things that are soooo good! My favorite is chicken sausage with artichokes, smoked mozzarella and garlic. OH, yummmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. These things are good enough to have for dinner, and I've done so. Well, that's what I had for lunch today.
I cooked it in a little skillet until it was almost ready to burst the skin, then rolled it up in a slice of bread. I let it cool a little bit while I got everything else ready. I sat down to eat, my mouth watering for the sausage, and I was wise enough to touch it to be sure it was cooled sufficiently. Then I picked it up and bit into it.
Let me cut to the chase .... when I bit into it, the skin burst ........ and it squirted up my nose! I though it was hot grease, although these things aren't greasy, but no! It was melted, liquid, extremely hot mozzarella cheese!!!
I couldn't grab a tissue quickly enough! When I finally got it, and blew my nose, I couldn't believe it was cheese! My right nostril HURT!! Now that was three hours ago, and I'm OK, now, but it's still a little tender! What are the odds of that happening? Sheesh.
OK, I'm a freak! That couldn't happen to a normal person. It just couldn't!
What's wrong with me!?!?!
I got some of the thistles cleared before all that, but I was heading back out after lunch until it began raining. I've had about .6 inch, just enough to freshen the earth a little. It's still overcast, and I've used that as an excuse to avoid returning to the work. I'm close enough now that I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, but I am just tired for today and thankful for an excuse, even this lame one! I've decided that I will not let this get ahead of me next spring. I will be relentless in my pursuit of beautifully dead thistles! The way they propagate, I figure it is going to take me about three years to really be rid of them.
I hate thistles. they are beautiful flowers, but they are obnoxious, invasive weeds. I really, really hate thistles.
And I'm not too crazy about mozzarella cheese at this particular juncture of my life, either.
oh my, can you sue for pain and suffering . . .for the vagrant mozzarella?
ReplyDeletewow, you ever watch ellen? you know how she does those reinactments . . .she could totally do this for you and i bet it would be funnny as all get out.
i mean, i am really sorry that you had to endure such an event. you must be really traumatized. you will never look at mozzarella the same.
hahahah. thanks for sharing the funny! glad you got some rain . . .we got about three feet of rain yesterday . . .thought the dogs floated away at one point.
Oh no!! That sounds painful!! (I'm sorry, Lynilu. I tried hard not to laugh at your pain, but what a picture you painted!)
ReplyDeleteI like beans' idea about ellen! I'd watch!
Beans, I will look into the Ellen thing. I hadn't thought of that, but that could be hilarious!
ReplyDeleteIt wasn't funny at the time, but I was laughing myself afterward, I have to admit!
We had out float-away in July. I'll pass on that kind of rain! I like how it is coming down here, thank you very much!
Jen, I know! Who could help but laugh after the fact. Like I said, pee-in-the-pants funny!
We'll see if Ellen appreciates it!
mozzarella up the nose.
ReplyDeletebrilliant.
i seriously doubt this could happen to anyone but you - 'cept me.
i think you should market the idea - insta-snot!
it would sell.
Cameo, now that you mention it, it was rather like insta-snot. This bring a whole new meaning to the term "hot snot," doesn't it?? LOL!
ReplyDeleteOK, *your* turn! What can you do that is as goofy???
What a hoot! I'm sure it was painful and at the same time one of those things you can't help but laugh at yourself about.
ReplyDeleteMJ, yeah, but it took a while before I could laugh!
ReplyDeleteOMG that sounded incredibly painful, and I didnt laugh too long. Glad it wasnt hot grease!
ReplyDeleteRuth
Ruth, hot grease vs hot cheese. There is no winning in that one!! It's OK to laugh. I did, later on!
ReplyDeleteOh dear.... they should come with a warning label! You poor thing *i'm not laughing - really!*
ReplyDeleteMQ, I know! I knew it would be hot, and I was, I tho't, careful! Sighh. It's OK, I laughed at myself!
ReplyDeleteAm I a bad friend since I couldn't stop laughing after reading this post???
ReplyDeleteHope you are feeling better.
I will be very careful in my next close encounter with hot mozarella!
ReplyDeleteI had to laugh at my gardening efforts today. I sprayed Roundup on my front walk and by the back door. The label says it's rainproof in 10 minutes. I hope that's true because it started raining in 2 hours, then hailing, then settled back to raining for the next 7 hours (then I went to sleep). ! Guess I'll see if the weeds disappear. Gail
Caroline, yes, bad, bad, Caroline!! Shoot, I laughed at myself!! Life isn't worth much if we can laugh at ourselves ... and let our friends laugh, too!
ReplyDeleteYeah, I'm fine today,thanks.
Gail, RoundUp does seem to work as it says. I've sprayed thistles an hour or two before rain and they still die.
I didn't get hail yesterday, but boy, did it rain! I got a little over an inch yesterday.
your a freak no doubt about it, not because of the cheese, but just because. I am glad there is not a freak gene, because then I would be just like you :)
ReplyDeleteTL, what makes you think you're not a freakazoid? What makes you think you didn't get it from me? What were you thinking????
ReplyDeleteLOL! You're so silly!!!
BTW, ask your hub if you inherited my freakiness!!!!!
ReplyDeleteBWAAAAA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!
I am not sure I want to ask him. . .he might actually agree. ILY
ReplyDeleteI'm grinning all over my face!!!! LOL! ILY2
ReplyDelete