I forgot to publish this yesterday! Oops!
Associate with those who help you believe in yourself.
Have you ever had one of those friends who seemed to be trying to be sure you know you're no better than she is? It is frustrating, isn't it, especially when you don't think you are and don't think you've acted superior?
I accept people for who they are. When I meet you, I assume that "what I sees is what I gets." Only when you prove me wrong do I change that opinion. I have to say most of the time my first impression is right. If I think you're nice, you probably are.
But then once in a while there is someone who isn't that person I thought. That person who appears to wait for a vulnerable moment and says something undermining. Like the person who said, when I was thrilled to be in a smaller size jeans, "They must be mismarked." Or the one who agreed with me in private, but waited for me to express something in a group, and always, always said something like, "Well, I guess that's one way of looking at it."
I've never understood why some people seem to need tear other people down. Oh, I understand the basic dynamics of bring others down to their level, but I don't understand how that can possibly make a person feel better. It feels better to me when I can say or so something that makes the other person feel better about themselves, not worse. I make mistakes. I'm certainly human and say or do thoughtless things, but I try very hard to not do that. If I'm around someone whom I have trouble finding decent things about, I usually back away from them. I don't want to be the toxic person in someone's life.
And when I find a person who begins to feel toxic in my life, I do the same. I remove myself from that person's presence as quickly as I can. I don't say or do anything other than put distance between us. Life is too short to waste having misery!
I do not want only people who flatter me with untrue praise. But I do want people who are with me because they want to be with me, and people who want to see me rise, not sink. Think of it. What a powerful team that makes! I gotcher back. Ya got mine?
Tell us about a really good bud you have had, one who helped you to believe in yourself, or about how you dealt with someone who wanted to tear you down.