“Watch your thoughts, for they become words.
Watch your words, for they become actions.
Watch your actions, for they become habits.
Watch your habits, for they become character.
Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.”
~Some sources say "unknown author," others attribute this to Frank Outlaw
~~~~
Whether it is an unknown person or Frank Outlaw (who, from my research, is probably a fictional character, anyway), this is one of the wisest quotes I've ever heard. This is totally about me and my responsibility to my own stuff.
Have you ever had one of those times when you've thought of something so often, so intensely, that it seems real? I have. Now, I must say, when it is a positive set of thoughts, this isn't a bad deal. If I begin to think better things about myself and subsequently begin believing those things, it is good for my self-image, and often moves me to the next step of behaving with that as my truth. It has been helpful to me many times in the past. It has aided me in overcoming my shyness and fear of public speaking. It has surrounded me with people I admire and who admire me. That is a great way to assure my destiny.
But on the other hand, if I am entertaining negative thoughts about a situation or a person, including myself, I am building a very ugly reality for my life. I experienced something along this line when I was horribly maligned by a former boyfriend. After he was done with me, he continued on to similarly hurt several other people, and my thoughts were extremely dark where he was concerned. I justified these feeling with the fact that I was angry with him "for all of us." This progressed to my badmouthing him. I can't say it accelerated to actions, but the habit of hating him infiltrated my life, even after his death. Every time I talked about him or even thought of him, I was consumed with nasty, ugly emotions, and my body responded to it. I didn't realize the depth of this until later. It took me twenty years to finally let go of it all, and in those decades, I allowed a lot of my energies be sidetracked into anger rather than using it to enjoy the good things in life. What a sad loss for me! Additionally, I wonder what people around me thought of me; I doubt I looked very nice with a swill of hatred swirling in my guts.
When I finally realized how I was damaging myself, I worked on changing this pattern in myself. There are still some people for whom I have little use, but I don't hang onto the negative energies produced by my association with them. I simply distance myself and move on. I also work on specific use of energy to refocus to a optimistic, reinforcing direction when I catch myself falling into the old habit of letting things, events, people influence my path and my mood. I don't want that kind of destructive influence to take up residence.
As I said above, this quote is all about my self-responsibility. I need to be less concerned with other people and their "stuff" than I am with my own. Staying focused on myself helps me to be forgiving of others, because I realize, duh, I'm no better! I have my own pile of crap to dig out of! What's that adage about a splinter int he eye? Yes, I think it is the best thing I can do for myself AND for others, because if I'm being my own "best," I create a reality around me that attracts the same from others. Think about it .... if someone is crabby and dark, do you really like being around them? Most of us don't, other than in the "misery likes company" scenario. No, we usually gravitate to people who make us feel good. I want people around me to be ones who reflect back to me the high spirits, the good will, the happiness, and .... dare I say it? Yeah, why not .... the love I wish to feel. It's MY job to be sure I'm creating that atmosphere.
What are your thoughts or experiences?
You don't seem like the type of person who would by shy speaking in public, just from what I know about you on your blog here.
ReplyDeleteMaybe it's because I'm a guy, maybe because it's because I'm in the autumn of my years and can't channel much positive or negative mental energy . . . but I don't ponder much on the good and bad in people. People are who they are for better or worse. I just don't think about it that much.
Dave, I've done a lot to conquer shyness. The hardest thing in the world is walking alone into a room where I may not know someone or sit in a restaurant to eat a meal alone. But I do it.
ReplyDeleteAs far as your second paragraph .... I think you are a typical man. that's not a slam, either, just an acknowledgment of a difference in the genders. Most men I've known don't lose sleep over other's behaviors; or they "do something about it." Women think and emote. Either way, we do determine out destinies in that manner, don't you think?
Well I finally made it back! I have just caught up on all of your posts, sorry that I've been absent Lyn. It's been pretty miserable around here and I chose not to share it!!! LOL!
ReplyDeleteAny way I think that if we act in a proper manner then we need not worry about what others think of us. In other words, if I'm doing the very best that I can that is all that I can give. If you like me fine if not then just move on to the next person. Does that make any sense?
I have missed you so much but just needed some time away. Hopefully I'll be around for awhile again! It's good hearing your thoughts Lyn.
Love Di ♥
First, that last line in response to Dave should say "...determine our destinies ..."
ReplyDeleteAnd Di .... I knew you'd be back when you could. Your household has been upended lately, and I knew that. I'm glad you're poking your head out of the tunnel again!
And yes, what you said makes sense.
I have a sister in another state that I have pretty much stopped communicating at all with. Every time we exchange emails I get angry with her.
ReplyDeleteIt is best to just cut the contact than to stew inside.
Other than her, I think I like just about everyone!
Merikay, sometimes that's what it takes, sadly. But it is what it is.
ReplyDeleteThis is a good quote; thanks for sharing your feelings about it. My troubles in thoughts tend to be twofold. 1) I worry about things being my own fault; 2) I imagine terrible scenarios involving my family or the dog. Stupid really, but damaging nonetheless. Thanks for reminding me to think positive thoughts.
ReplyDeleteI have certainly felt the power of positive thought in my life, especially when I was younger and my thoughts were unencumbered. Trying to get back to that youthful enthusiasm for life because I think that is a place of pure good thoughts.
ReplyDeleteOh such a true post! It's so much easier to be happy with yourself than being mad and crabby ~ which rubs off on others ~ or like you said being around the negatives can bring out the negative in yourself AND who wants to go through life being a grumpy pants. I don't! Been there ... done that. Have a great day!!
ReplyDeleteA very good post. I think I tend to be like Dave. I don't allow the negativity of others to have any effect on me. I do try to control my own emotions and keep an upbeat and positive outlook on things.
ReplyDelete