Sometimes in life, we find ourselves at crossroads and have to make decisions we'd rather not make. I'm there. It's not exactly a huge, life shattering one, but I've been standing in this place for too long as I try to avoid making the decision I have.
I've had a friend for a while now, but she has backed away. We were very close for a long time, doing many things together. We have a lot of friends in common, and often show up at the same events, planned or not. Then a few months ago, there was a sudden change in our relationship. She seemed cool and distant. I've asked about it, but she smiles, then her voice goes up about an octave (a certain sign of an untruth) and she says nothing is wrong. She was the same on the surface, yet several noticed a subtle undercurrent. At first, I thought it was just me, then realized it was generalized. Others noticed it, too, and it seemed it wasn't just me who felt the shift in her.
So I didn't take it personally once I realized that. I figured, as others did, that she was struggling with something. I've back off to give space. I've given supportive comments during a difficult time in her life while being very careful to not encroach. Her mother's health recently too a bad turn and after a few weeks, she passed away. Several of us have tried to gently support her fro a distance, but she hasn't communicated with us. We call her; she doesn't call us. And I've finally decided to just give it up. As I've stood at the crossroads trying to discern what is going on with her, the rest of my life has moved on. When I realized that a few days ago, I decided it is time to get on with life, and if she happens to make overtures in the future, play it by ear then. It is so odd that someone protests that all is well while seeming to be anything but. Oh well. Time to let go.
Have you noticed how some parts of your life continue to move along while others grind to a halt? For instance, some one dear to you dies, and that part of your life seems to stand still; yet, you go to work and do your job as usual, and you parent your children without much change, and you keep your dental appointments or haircuts. I've noticed things I've be unable to make a decision over, so I figuratively put them on a shelf, while the rest of my life progresses. That's what has happened with this friend. My relationship with her is "on hold" for the past few months while the rest of my life has gone on. Time to cut the line to that anchor.
All things in life have purpose. We don't always know why things happen. Sometimes a vacancy comes about to make room for a new tenant. Let's hope for the best for all!