These are random musings of my life journey, the people, animals, places, and events which have woven, and continue to weave, a tapestry that is me. We all know there is no real destination, only the ongoing experiences which blend together, creating the trail. Each step gives a glimpse of what is to come, without allowing me to see the end result. It is exciting. I have a home base that is mine, that gives me a place to rest. This is it. This is where my heart is, no matter where I journey...................

Friday, January 13, 2012

Communication these days

Do people communicate any more?

In our fast paced world with email, blogs, social networks, texting, tweets, and all kinds of instant communications, I've noticed a loss in real communication.  When I say "real communication" I mean talking on the phone, writing letters or even emails with substance to them (not "forwards" or jokes), and sometimes even the personal, face to face conversations. It seems that many of us don't slow down enough to enjoy each other.

I've noticed that sometimes, when I'm talking to someone, they seems to be drifting away after a few minutes, and to be honest, I find myself doing that, too. And I find myself sending a text rather than making a call to convey a message. That's fine when that is the only reason for the contact, but I've been thinking that if I would just make the call and take five minutes to connect and actually talk, it would make myself and hopefully the other person slow down a moment and have that connection that is so important to we humans. Yet the next time I do the same thing!

In the process of this, it seems that I'm losing some people.

Now, to be honest, I often feel talking on the phone almost a chore. I used to love to talk for long periods. Several jobs in the course of my life required me to be on the phone a lot, and it became a burden. Now there are friends and family members that I don't talk with nearly as much as I would like. The trouble is, I call them and they are busy or vice versa. We are just too, too busy!

So how is your communication?

PS - I want to add this thought: I'm actually very glad to have the ability to text with my grandchildren. It has allowed us to keep i touch in their way, and when we get together, it doesn't feel as distant. I guess because I relate to them in a way they like, it has lowered some potential blocks. They actually text better than they talk on the phone!! OK, OK, there are some advantages!


  1. When I received a text from our oldest daughter saying Merry Christmas, I totally lost it! What? Couldn't she take the little bit of time to make a phone call. I was crushed.

  2. Ohhh, I'm sorry to hear that. My kids and I did that, but we also talked on the phone later in the day.

  3. Fortunately, I have at least one girlfriend with whom I stay regularly in touch via phone. Yes, we are both on Facebook, but rarely communicate that way. Rather, about once every 1-1.5 weeks we have a good chat on the phone. It varies with others; some I talk with infrequently but, wow, when we do catch up on the phone, we have a righteous gab fest! On the other hand, I have noticed during our 1.5 years of full-timing that other folks have drifted . . . and at some point I tire of being the one initiating the contact. I believe that shared experiences are needed to keep some bonds alive, while other relationships are so strong and deep that no matter how much time has passed it is just like we were together the day before or live down the block from each other. Overall, I'd say my communication is fine and dandy, although I certainly see in our society much of what you have said here. It's a shame, isn't it?

  4. TYR, yes, most of what you say is what I've experienced, too. When my husband was having serious health issues, then was diagnosed with cancer, I sent out lengthy letters by email to keep all the family and friends up to date. It was the most efficient way to do that as I had so little time. After he died, I continued to do that to let them know how and where I was, since I chose to travel and visit kids for a while at that time.

    A friend suggested the blog to replace the group letter, because of the ability to post pictures, and I was excited to do that. It was much easier. Unfortunately only a handful of family and friends followed me to the blog. I guess I was a guilty as any at that point, eh?

  5. I laughed out loud when you included telephone conversations among the list of real forms of communication. As someone who loves to write, but who hates telephones the idea of carrying on a real conversation on the phone is completely foreign -- and yet over the years I have conducted lengthy snail-mail correspondences.

    Just goes to show you there's room for all sorts of people.

    But the whole email/internet/social networking thing seems to have deluded people into thinking there are no consequences to their "speech." And lead to more and more misunderstandings that arise because the participants in the interchange don't really "know" each other well enough to know when one is being sincere, flirty, sarcastic, etc.....

    love the blog.
    Away We Go

  6. Oh, Peter, your last paragraph really struck a chord! I can't tell you how many times I've been offended by things people have emailed to me. When it becomes a common, frequent event that I'm getting content that is objectionable, I politely ask they take me off the mailing list for that type email. Many do so without a problem, but others get huffy. I asked a very close and very dear relative to refrain from political content, and was informed, quite huffily, that he couldn't keep straight what everyone wants or doesn't want. I reminded him that I don't send the suggestive humor to his wife, as I do to him, because I know she would like it as he does, and I respect that, as well as I asked him if he would come into my house and say the same things his emails do. I didn't hear form him for several months!

    On other social internet forms, if I read something I don't like at another persons site, I just move on. If it continues and I don't like it, I don't go back there and/or block that person's posts. But some who don't like my posts "argue" the points. Again, my rule of thumb is that I won't say anything on your blog/social network page/email that I wouldn't in your living room. That doesn't seem to be written on everyone's thumbs.

  7. My communication with friends and family hasn't really changed. Although I do text with Katie when she's out away from the house.
    But I do know what you mean Lyn. People seem so rushed and busy today.
    Silly me, I thought all of this technology was supposed to make our lives easier enabling us to have more time?!
    Love Di ♥

  8. Di, as I see it, the trouble with having time-saving devices is that when we get the "saved time," we simply cram it full of stuff again rather than take time to enjoy it!

  9. I have avoided texting but do love to make and receive phone calls. email and snail mail. Pre-retirement, when researchers were so engrossed in their labs that they didn't answer the phone, I hiked around on our 52-acre campus for a face to face conversation. They never seemed to balk at the interruption, although if my questions were not time sensitive I always asked if it would be more convenient at another time. Face to face boosted clarity and forged relationships. Thought-provoking post!

  10. LC, you touched a key point .... much is lost without face to face. Think about how many times the written (or texted) communication is misinterpreted and acted upon before clarification could happen. Part of that is because we now communicate in the fewest words possible, not always a bad thing, but carried to the extreme, it can lead to terrible misunderstandings.

    With texting, we've also become lax about punctuation, and we all know the examples of that!

    Let’s eat, mommy.
    Let’s eat mommy.

    Quality service and attention to detail.
    Quality, service, and attention to detail.

    Don’t use commas, which are not necessary.
    Don’t use commas which are not necessary.

    Giant moving, sale Friday
    Giant moving sale Friday

  11. Yes, I think your endpiece summed it up for me too. It's good to have a choice. I have some nice friends that I wouldn't hear from between one year and the next, when we were relying on snail mail. But when facebook came along it was a whole lot easier! And texting is a great way to make a little comment that it's not worth phoning about.

    The general sense of rushing, though... well that is another story. I even eat too fast. Not good. Not good. Just as well animals aren't clockwatchers.

  12. Jenny, it is hard to not be caught up in the hustle-bustle of the world around us. I try to slow down, but it is not always successful. I'm trying to bet back into meditation, too, on a more regular basis to help me manage the feeling that I have so much to do in so little time. Wish me luck!


If you have something to say about it, just stick out your thumb, and I'll slow down so you can hop aboard! But hang on, 'cause I'm movin' on down the road!!! No time to waste!!!