These are random musings of my life journey, the people, animals, places, and events which have woven, and continue to weave, a tapestry that is me. We all know there is no real destination, only the ongoing experiences which blend together, creating the trail. Each step gives a glimpse of what is to come, without allowing me to see the end result. It is exciting. I have a home base that is mine, that gives me a place to rest. This is it. This is where my heart is, no matter where I journey...................

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

Gotta Get This Done!

Well, hasn't today just been lovely with Blogger on the fritz? That doesn't even count yesterday and the several days before that. Today has been awful, and I wonder what the heck is going on. I'm not even sure this will post. What a mess. I'm glad it's over. Hopefully!

I've had some peculiar days recently. Last week it suddenly struck me that I have too much to do to finish this house by myself. Well, if I intend to leave here in less than 6 months. I found myself looking at various jobs around the house and thinking I should do that or fix this, but before I made a move the second thought would hit me . . . but is it something that really needs to be done at this juncture? I was kind of spinning my wheels. So I gave myself permission to have a vacation for a few days, sort out my thoughts, my priorities, my needs, and look at my financial situation. I'm still not sure what is my best route. I have appointments with some realtors who know I'm thinking about what is best for me, and they all say they will give me their advice. I will take their suggestions, weigh every thing and then decide what is best for me and who best can help that happen.

As I said I'm talking with several realtors to help me know what I need to do and what I can slide by, as well as which of them I feel the most confidence in for selling the house. I'm beginning to be overwhelmed by the amount of information they are giving me. It all helps but just sorting through it, reading it, and most of all, absorbing it is a challenge. I've never had to sell a house by myself, and I'm telling you this is about to take me to my knees. I have just one more to meet with and after that I think I'll make a decision is a week or two.

The information I have so far tells me that I should do a couple of the fix-ups and put it on the market. Period. After those two tasks, anything more would be just traded money. In other words, what I invest I will get back, but with little monetary advantage to me. I could price the house higher, but the money would already be spent on the renovations. So I think I will probably cut and run. The most important thing is that I move on to the next stage of my journey, and that means leaving here.

I can hardly wait to get on with the relocation part of my journey. I look forward to being able to grow my nails out again. I look forward to having my belongings (most now in storage) around me and available to use. I look forward to sitting in my recliner again and having the couch to stretch out on. I look forward to getting up in the morning without dreading very strongly the tasks of the day. I look forward to having my dinning table so I can have friends over for dinner. I look forward to continuing on the trek of learning who I am without others to define me. (I know that last one has qualifiers, but there is no one who defines you as much as a spouse, and after feeling invisible outside the couple for many years, I want to experience setting boundaries just for me.) I need to go.

And I need to go to avoid another summer in the dreadful mid west sauna. It's already upon us. Gotta get outta here! a few summers ago I wrote this to express how I feel about it:


Summer is here,
just around the corner.
Already the days are long and hot.
It’s rained a lot.
The grass is thick and green,
a plush carpet underfoot,
and flowers are blooming
This time of year
is possibly the most beautiful,
as nature spreads
across all the hills,
along the river banks,
everywhere my eyes can see.
And yet,
on the threshold of summer,
I cringe,
because I know
the dread heat of July
is on it’s way.
As it creeps in,
it will choke away
the cooling, refreshing rain.
The rich green will turn
to pale green, then to tan
and crisp brown,
as it suffers
and withers from thirst
when the rain becomes
scarcer and scarcer.
Yet even as the countryside
wilts and dies,
humidity will form
like a thick, steamy blanket,
stifling us as we go about
our daily routines,
and hot.
I’ll groan
and long for winter again
even though I promised,
last December,
that I wouldn’t.
I can’t help it,
I will be miserable
and I’ll complain.
Hurry, snowfall!

Yep. Gotta get outta here.


  1. I noticed that you posted this on Wednesday, but I just saw it this morning? Was it due to blogger?

    I am proud of you for giving yourself a few days off as a vacation. I know you have worked very hard since you came back. You deserve some days off just to do what you like. I know you are really in need of having your things around you. I don't know how you have put up without your "stuff" for this long. I hope that everything works out just the way you want it to and you will be in NM before the summer ends. We all know that is where your heart is.

  2. This was a note that I wrote but blogger wouldn't let me post it. Then I added to it yesterday before sending it. So both dates are correct.

    Thanks for the kind words. I am really weary. My emotional mood is good, but the mental nad physical are low, so I need to move before the latter 2 attack the former!!

    BTW, I think I am going to go get my recliner from storage this weekend. Since it is going with me to NM, I might as well have it here at the house for comfort for the next few weeks while things are being done, right? I'm excited!

  3. Glad you are getting your recliner out of storage. You need to have some of the comforts of home! I love you very much and miss you. I wish more then ever that I could be there to help you. Get it done and get out of Missouri (misery)!!!


If you have something to say about it, just stick out your thumb, and I'll slow down so you can hop aboard! But hang on, 'cause I'm movin' on down the road!!! No time to waste!!!