These are random musings of my life journey, the people, animals, places, and events which have woven, and continue to weave, a tapestry that is me. We all know there is no real destination, only the ongoing experiences which blend together, creating the trail. Each step gives a glimpse of what is to come, without allowing me to see the end result. It is exciting. I have a home base that is mine, that gives me a place to rest. This is it. This is where my heart is, no matter where I journey...................

Thursday, June 29, 2006

Life Ain't Easy!

I've had a lot of things going on the last couple days. I've been on a bit of a teeter-totter. First of all, I got a call from my eldest son. He asked if I had heard anything on the news about what had happened in the town in NM where my late husband grew up and is now buried. No, I hadn't. There was a torrential storm in NM last week which caused lots of problems all over. He told me that it rained 4 inches in less than an hour! This on coming on drought-dried soil is not a good thing, of course. It had caused lots of property damage, several blocks of pavement simply floated off as an example. The most concerning was that the cemetery had received damage such as headstones being toppled or floating out of place. He was going from the town he lives in, about an hour away, on business yesterday and was planning to check on the situation. He said he would call me and take pictures of the family grave sites. I was worried, because since my husband's grave is fairly recent, the dirt would hot have packed well yet.

Well, I didn't hear from him last night or this morning, so I called this afternoon. I figured that "no news is good news" might not be accurate in this situation. Sure enough. He won't even tell me much. He said that it wouldn't serve any good to go into detail. He said he took pictures in case something came up later on, but it is not an image he thinks any of us will want to keep. The management was already hard at work putting things right. A cousin who lives there is going to keep tabs on the progress. I don't know what else one can ask for.

I'm not a person who puts importance on grave sites. I don't go there to talk to the people interred. What is there is dust. But it is a memorial and having it upturned like this isn't pleasant. I'm glad it is being fixed.

This morning I went to renew the plates on the car. I was also going to have my husband's name removed from the title. Turns out I had to go through 2 lines and write 2 checks . . . or start over in a different line in order to write just one check. Seems they couldn't do the name removal in my line. I decided to just leave the name there for now. It is the end of the month, so the waiting was more than usual. I'll go back and do that another time. Or maybe just wait until I move and do it in the process of getting plates in NM. I'm learning that not much in this world is simple following a death. I used to think life was complicated, but now, I could double it. There is always some sort of hiccup to inconvenience me. Think I should take it personally?

OK, on to the good news. I've been trying to find a replacement rechargeable battery for a set of power tools that my husband had. I've had absolutely no luck. The set is older and is a little know brand, so there seems to be no replacement available anywhere, including the Internet. So I have up on that and went to Lowe's today and bought myself a wonderful new set! Black & Decker. Five major tools and a couple little things thrown in, an electronic stud finder (hey, I'm single, now . . . maybe I can use that!) and an electronic level (is that going to keep me level when I find the stud?). The battery is charging, and by tomorrow, I will be looking for things to fix! I gotta play with my new toys!! Coincidentally, I spoke to a friend earlier today, and I said, "Hidee-ho!" as a greeting. He reminded me about "Tool Time," the old Tim Allen sitcom, where the neighbor with only half a face, Mr. Wilson, always said that. To which I responded with my best "har-har-har," as Tim Allen-ish as I could be.

I just love tools. I love learning how to use them, and being in control, to the fullest degree possible, of my environment. When my late husband fixed things or built things, we all had to be go-fers for him. I think his intent was good; he wanted to make things nice for us. And I think he was threatened that we might no longer need him. He had some issues with his self-confidence and was controlling in many ways. This made it made it hard for any of us to learn because we only got to watch. My father was very good about teaching me. He expected me to be able to accomplish minor car repairs by myself, saying that if I could change my own tire or other small things, I would be less likely to be accosted by a person who stopped on a ruse of helping me or being taken advantage of by a repair person.

So I was frustrated by my hubby's protective methods. I've had to learn several things the hard way in doing what needs done to this house in the past few months. But I HAVE learned, and I love it. It feels very empowering to do it myself. Are you hearing a little roar in the background? Yep, that's me!!

Alright, I'm headed out now to see "RiverDance" at our local open-air theater. Hope I don't melt! It's hot and sticky out there. OK, I probably don't have to worry about melting.


  1. Greetings!
    Thanks for such a great blog! I'm meeting more blog people than ever and your site is now added to my favorites!

    Hope to read more!

  2. fat head - And welcome to you! I enjoyed your blog, as well, and I'm sure we will be in touch.


If you have something to say about it, just stick out your thumb, and I'll slow down so you can hop aboard! But hang on, 'cause I'm movin' on down the road!!! No time to waste!!!