These are random musings of my life journey, the people, animals, places, and events which have woven, and continue to weave, a tapestry that is me. We all know there is no real destination, only the ongoing experiences which blend together, creating the trail. Each step gives a glimpse of what is to come, without allowing me to see the end result. It is exciting. I have a home base that is mine, that gives me a place to rest. This is it. This is where my heart is, no matter where I journey...................

Thursday, June 29, 2006


In reality it is too late to be up and writing in a blog. Well, it is for me, anyway. I just got home from the theater . . . or should I say, theatre. ;-) I really enjoyed "Riverdance." If you've not seen it, it is worth the price of a ticket. What a wonderful mixture of music! Not only do you have the expected Irish mixture, but there is also a bit of Jazz, some parts that have a New Age flavor (shades of Yanni or John Tesh), then something close to Russian Folk and don't forget the Flamenco. It was interesting to watch the flamenco dancer, expressive with her hands and body accompanied by three male dancers with the straight backs and their arms close to their sides, creating a wonderful contrast. There is a number called (I think) "Trading Taps," in which 2 African American men and 3 of the Irish gents challenge styles, again celebrating the variations. The musicians, the band, was small. Just a keyboard, a drummer or rather a percussionist, a violinist (fiddler), a saxophone, and a man who played several instruments, a flute, guitar, and an Irish version of bagpipes (much sweeter than bagpipes). But wow, could they put out music, despite their small census. Oh, I forgot, there were 2 people who played Irish drums, sort of a small bass drum, in a few numbers. It was astounding and wonderful. I enjoyed it so much that I even sprung for the DVD, not a cheap-y, but I think it will be worth it. I’ve been going to Starlight Theatre about 28 years, and this is only the second time I’ve bought the soundtrack or DVD. The other was before DVD days (!!!!) and I bought the soundtrack of “Big River.” Hmmm. Do you think I have a “thing” for rivers? Maybe so! These 2 shows couldn’t be farther apart in style, so my interests are certainly diverse.

Tonight was a little bittersweet for me. I had season tickets since 1977 or 1978. They are wonderful seats, 1st row, box seats, center stage. I hadn’t planned to be in Kansas City this summer, so the tickets were transferred to my son and his wife. It just happened that DIL Connie and granddaughter Kylee are in Mexico, spending time with Connie’s family, so I got the tickets. I enjoyed being able to see and talk with old friends, my “neighbors” in the seats next to me. I had said goodbye to them last year, so it was a nice treat.

Unfortunately, I couldn’t find anyone to go with me. Everyone had other plans, so I went alone. It doesn’t bother me to go alone to most things, and certainly not this. But I was thinking as I left that this marks another step in my journey alone. I’m sure there will be many more events which will be solo outings for me. It is going to be a challenge for me later on, as I start going places with less comfort cushion. Here, at Starlight, I know many of the people who sit close, so in a sense, I’m not really alone. What will it be like when I find a theater in NM and go to strange seats, sit with strangers? I don’t know.

I also thought as I drove home about how many endings I’m experiencing. Like Starlight, I had season tickets to see the Kansas City Chiefs for as many years. Those were actually reassigned over a year ago, so I’ve “let go” of them in my head. But when I think that I’ve attended my last professional football game, my last performance at this theater, I realize that I will be doing more “lasts” in the coming weeks. A sobering thought.

I look forward to the many “firsts” that will follow these “lasts.” But it remains significant to me that this is such a changing time in my life. For every friend I tell goodbye, a new one awaits. But the challenges of ending, beginning, and just learning to be OK with being alone . . . well, I hope I find that it isn’t as staggering as it seems at this moment. Looking back at what I’ve already accomplished amazes me. I just hope what is yet to come will be easier than it looks from my present vantage point.

I’ll end with a quote that seems to fit this juncture:

“If you were all alone in the universe with no one to talk to, no one with which to share the beauty of the stars, to laugh with, to touch, what would be your purpose in life? It is other life, it is love, which gives your life meaning. This is harmony. We must discover the joy of each other, the joy of challenge, the joy of growth.” --Mitsugi Saotome


  1. Honey you have a wonderful outlook on things and with your sweet spirit you'll be okay and make friends no matter where you go!

  2. It will be a wonderful experience, you are so charming that you will make MANY new friends. . .

  3. patti - it's hard to explain, but I know that . . . yet . . .

    I'm just in such a state of flux. thanks.

  4. doo dah - thanks for the encouragement. As I said above, I know that, but making myself believe it is another topic altogether!

  5. You were kind enough to stop by and visit The Old Lady In A Shoe so I decided to return the favor. At time when The Shoe is so overwhelmed with the noise of three small children, I try to remind myself that there will soon come a time when I will miss the noise. I can only imagine how lonely your life must be at times. The grass is always greener and I often think how much I would give for just a few moments alone.

    You do have such a wonderful outlook and I do know it will be easier but I know it must be so tough at time.

  6. Old lady - I hope you stop back at my blog. I'm going to post one of my poems just for you! Thanks for your kind words.

  7. Don't count the endings - say goodbye like a cat. Then look at each day as a new adventure. The past will always be there and you can visit any time you want. Just don't choose to live there.

    Anyway who would miss a Chief's ticket when you are moving to Bronco county.

  8. cmt - watch it, now! I've had a long running (friendly) dispute with my brothers and nephews, and Dad before he passed away, re: Chiefs/broncos (Note the capitalization). As I recall when I left NM, it was Cowboys territory (thank you, Ralph Neeley). But, then I guess I just answered my own question . . . why be a Cowboys fan when the Broncos are closer . . . and better! Well, I still have the Broncos t-shirt Daddy gave me one Christmas, and a Broncos paint bucket. I'll think it over. Don't hold your breath!

    caroline - you know there are parts of KC I'll miss, too. You're definitely on the short list.

  9. Excuse me...broncos fan? I don't think so! Even in florida where there are 3 teams to rival I run across Chiefs fans more often then you would think!!! Once a Chiefs fan, always a Chiefs fan, right momma! Don't let me down now!!!! And yes you do have a wonderful spirit. One of the many reasons I love you so and value you in my life!

  10. Hang in there, hang in there, hang in there!

    I have been flying solo my whole adult life. I like being single, but sometimes it means not having a companion in my social life.

    I go to the ballet alone each year and I *don't* even bother to ask someone to go with me because I don't know anyone who would enjoy ballet.

    Sometimes I can find friends or coworkers or acquaintances to hang out with but I end up doing things I don't enjoy.

    It's a delicate dance...being alone.

    Just remember you are never *really* alone. You have your children and your grandchildren. You have your husband looking down on you from heaven, or wherever spirits reside when they pass to the other side. He is there. He is rooting for you to be happy!

  11. tl - it's OK, babygirl! cmt is an old, dear friend and I have an obligation to do what I can to ruffle him, don't ya know? It's part of the contract! ;-) Thanks for being my little girl . . . even now! I love you back.

  12. m - your words are dear. Being alone is something I want, but the transition from a life in which I was overly obligated to another is simply taking time and many adjustments. I find things that slip into my consciousness and surprise me just throw me for a loop at times. The wonderful thing is, as you say, the support of my family. It is good to know that I can call any one of my 5 kids any time I wish, and I know they'll have time for me.

    I'll get there. I'm just impatient to "get on with life." Thanks for the visit.


If you have something to say about it, just stick out your thumb, and I'll slow down so you can hop aboard! But hang on, 'cause I'm movin' on down the road!!! No time to waste!!!