These are random musings of my life journey, the people, animals, places, and events which have woven, and continue to weave, a tapestry that is me. We all know there is no real destination, only the ongoing experiences which blend together, creating the trail. Each step gives a glimpse of what is to come, without allowing me to see the end result. It is exciting. I have a home base that is mine, that gives me a place to rest. This is it. This is where my heart is, no matter where I journey...................

Thursday, September 14, 2006

Boy, I Don't Need This Kind Of Slow-Down!

Today was an interesting day today. If you're really bored! I have SO MUCH to do, and I got very little done. I had trouble sleeping last night, with lists of "don't forgets" running through my head. I woke several times with something or other on my mind, back to sleep, and later wake again with more stuff. So I'm plain physically tired.

Secondly, I have worked really steadily and hard for several days, and it seems that it caught up with me. I'm not hurting, but it is as if my muscles are tired and I didn't feel like doing anything. I felt energy-less, if there is such a word. Every effort today was just that . . . effort.

Thirdly, I had to do some errands this morning, some of those things I don't want to have to mess with but can't avoid. So I dropped donations off at the thrift store, stopped at 2 banks, ran into the drug store, and went to pay a small vet bill. Time consuming and boring.

While at this last place, I realized that the two babies probably needed to have stitches removed. So I asked about it, and Mai Lin didn't need it, but Ali did. I came home and got him. He was so excited that he got to go with me, and he remained that way until . . . .

Now stitch removal isn't a big deal, right? Just 2 little stitches were there (he was neutered, so you know where "there" is). Our usual vet was not in today, and we got a "temp" who turned out to be just delightful, sounded French from the accent. Anyway, he was very nice, petted Ali a while to let him get to know him. Then we rolled him so that his upper body was against me and the doc snipped the first stitch, no problem. Snipped the second, no problem. Oh, wait! The first stitch didn't completely come out. A little piece broke off down in the wound, and leaving it could cause irritation and even infection. While the doc prepared a sterile cotton and tweezer to remove it, Ali looked up at me with the most pitiful eyes!! I am not sure if the message was, "Help me! Save me, Mom!" or "Damn it, why'd you bring me here? I'm holding you responsible for any pain." They had to open the wound just a little to reach the fragment, and my boy was not a happy one! At this point, I'm pretty sure it was the latter message. Well, that or "Die, bitch!" that was in his eyes! Poor baby has slept a lot this afternoon, but he has forgiven me and has brought toys to my feet several times.

I'm to the part of the move that is the worst. There is nothing major left to do, but there are dozens of little things, each requiring different tools, supplies, size of box, packing material, etc., than the last. None takes long, but the process is slow. A piece of molding needs secured in place, but I have no finish nails with me, so I trudge up the stairs, get the nails and return to the spot. Next job, tools I have with me aren't the right ones, so again I trek up, get the tools and return. It's just slow work and very discouraging. I'm tired, I'm tired of doing this, and I'm tired of being here. And I'm having self-doubts about being able to finish this my myself. Today is not a good day. Obviously.

Tonight I’m going to take something to help me sleep. I can’t afford more days like this in which I make no discernible progress. I have no time for “down time.” I need to rest. I’ve made my obligatory lists and will leave the computer on so that if I wake with restless thoughts, I can record them. Say a healing prayer for Ali and a prayer for rest for me.

hmmm. Do you think this is pay-back for the orneriness I expelled on Caroline?


  1. it is a good thing animals can not talk or we would get an ear full. just imagine the secrets they could tell about us. we confide in them more than we do to humans.

  2. mrhaney - boy, that's for sure!! Since I lost my husband, I've talked to them more than usual. Sometimes, I think it is just to hear a voice, even if it is my own. And yes, they do know my secrets. But like the Bush Bean dog, they don't talk. They'd better not!

  3. Will Do! Positive thoughts and prayers headed both your and Ali's way!

    And by the way, you always make me laugh when I least expect it... "Die, Bitch!" Ah, but that was priceless.
    Hope he's feeling better soon. :)

  4. Sending you lots of positive thoughts. Poor Ali, but I hope he's feeling better soon. Looks like today was just a grummy day all around. But tomorrow is a new day and I can't wait.

  5. catherine - Thanks. Ali seems to be back to himself and has forgiven me my cruel act of yesterday. And I slept very well last night. I feel ready again to take on the remaining tasks.

    caroline - Thanks to you, too. Yesterday is gone, and I do feel more like myself. Gotta get crackin'!!

  6. It IS a good thing animals can't talk. I'm pretty sure i've been cussed at many a vet visit. I feel guilty just taking Reilly in the car when I have to. He gets so stressed! Hope you get the little things done and get some good rest tonight Hon!

  7. patti - I'm going to focus on good rest every night from now until I leave (14 DAYS!!!) so that I have the daytime energy to do what I must. Today is already better than yesterday was.


If you have something to say about it, just stick out your thumb, and I'll slow down so you can hop aboard! But hang on, 'cause I'm movin' on down the road!!! No time to waste!!!