These are random musings of my life journey, the people, animals, places, and events which have woven, and continue to weave, a tapestry that is me. We all know there is no real destination, only the ongoing experiences which blend together, creating the trail. Each step gives a glimpse of what is to come, without allowing me to see the end result. It is exciting. I have a home base that is mine, that gives me a place to rest. This is it. This is where my heart is, no matter where I journey...................

Friday, May 25, 2007

Life Is a Rollercoaster

Today was a conglomeration of, well, stuff. Not any of the extremes of good or bad, just different. For starters, I went into work for a while, and I decided to take the dogs with me. Ali has been having a rough time for several days now, and I didn’t want to leave him at home. When he’s upset, he chews things up. It’s usually not anything important, just things like cardboard boxes, but first of all, it is always a mess to clean up, and secondly, I worry that he might one day he might chew up something important or be hurt.

I should explain that for the first four or five years of his life, there was no problem. Then something happened which brought some changes in him that can’t be explained. We (my hub and I) were out of town, the house/dog sitter went to a ball game, and a thunderstorm broke while she was gone. The sitter was stunned when she returned home to find that Ali had opened a cabinet door and had crawled through pots and pans, pushing some of them out on the floor, continued on to the cabinet space with bottles of coffee flavorings and cooking liquors, pushing them out onto the floor, but fortunately not breaking them. He was a shaking, hysterical mess! The eight or ten years since that time he has required special attention during thunderstorms.

When we moved into this home, he began to settle down. He still didn’t like storms, but he was no longer freaking every time. He wanted to be near me, and when a roll of thunder came, he rolled his eyes toward the sky nervously, but he didn’t hide, shake, and importantly, he wasn’t chewing on things. I tried to schedule myself to be here when storms were threatening. It has been wonderful to see him more normal.

Then 10 days ago or thereabouts, he suddenly began to freak about thunderstorms again. It still hasn’t been as bad as it was in the past, but the honeymoon is over. He’s been more clingy and nervous, and it isn’t just around storms. When he hears some noises, even every day ones, he behaves the same way as he does during storms. I think it is exacerbated by the fact that he is becoming senile. It is becoming increasingly worse, and the vet has given us a new medication to hopefully help it. With luck, we’ll see some improvement in the next couple weeks. I’ve equated his behaviors to the paranoid stage of Alzheimer’s. If you’ve been around someone going through that awful illness, you know what I mean. I watched my gentle, intelligent mother shake with fear of us all being “killed in the crossfire” of “CIA and drug dealers” as she perceived them surrounding the house in some sort of war. This is what it seems Ali is going through, too.

So, anyway, I took them along. I’d thought that if it went well, I could take them, at least occasionally, with I go in, as they are good with people, and I though it might be a good break for them.

It wasn’t a stormy day. It was sunny and pretty out. The weather forecast was for occasional showers late in the day, and possibly some thunder storms this evening. Well, Ali did fairly well. He and China both were happy to greet all the visitors (another story about that later). But after a while, he began to be very restless, whining and pacing, pulling toward the door, etc. It was time for me to go, and I stopped quickly at the grocery for a couple things.

Then we came home. Just as we got here, it began raining. And Ali spent the rest of the day glued to me, a nervous wreck ... for good reason. It has rained, hailed, blown since about 4:30. It is now 10:30, and it has finally stopped. Or at least I think so. Poor Bubba is resting now. Or perhaps he is passed out! I hope we have found in this medication something to give my poor boy some relief from this awful affliction.

Officially, we have received just over 0.5 inch of rain today. My rain gauge, however, says that I’ve had over 1.5 at my house! Since 4:30, just six hours! Yep, this is why everything is so green!

One of the items I picked up at the store was a newspaper. I’ve been reading it this evening, and I got a pleasant surprise. All the work I’ve been busting my butt over during the past week was rewarded, because when I got to the section for which I had written a significant amount of text and took pictures of several exhibits at the gallery, the story was there. I didn’t know when it would run, and I was eager to see how the information had come together in their hands. They had told me that they wanted some information about the gallery for an article in the fine arts section and pictures to complement the facts. I did so, writing from my own point of view. Guess what? They published the whole story, just as I wrote it! I was stunned! Pleased, but stunned! Not only that, but they actually gave me credit for the article. Not just a line saying that I supplied information, but my name is at the top of the page. I am floored! Yeah, that makes all the earlier headaches worth while.

Happy weekend, all!


  1. Wow! That is totally cool about the newspaper article!

  2. That is great about the newspaper article.

    Poor Ali. Surely Not is showing signs of old age but not in the same capacity as Ali. She is going blind, losing her hearing, and she has always been clingy. I hope the medication works. I know as humans age, that which is comforting to them is all important - home, hearth, and family. Perhaps that is what Ali wants home, hearth, and you. When she is in an environment that she is not sure of, she is exhibiting anxiety. Good luck with her. I hope things get better.

  3. Traci - I know! My first "by line." Who'da thunk it?!

    Pepper - Thanks! And I understand about Surely's situation. China Doll has the sight/hearing loss,(as did her mama, Mai Lin, who I lost in October) and she wants to be right where I am. I'm sure she feels a bit lost when she doesn't know where I am. She stands and barks if she "loses" me in the house. Actually, Ali has developed cataracts, and they seems to be growing alarmingly fast, so tat probably compromises his comfort zone even more. But, you know, the dementia seems more disorientating than all the other old-age problems rolled together. It is very sad. Thanks for understanding, and give Surely a gentle hug from me.

  4. Oh, Poor Ali !
    It is very good that you understand, and are such a loving and good doggy Mom to him... And to China...

    And that is WONDERFUL about your article being published in full ! Yeayyyyyyy, Lynilu !

  5. Congrats on your article. It must be pretty cool to see your writings in print. Makes all the hard work worth it, I bet.

    I am so sorry to hear about your Ali. It's so sad that he can't tell you what's REALLY the problem. Hopefully, the meds will make things better for him...AND you!!!

    Take care!

  6. Awesome about the article but my heart broke just a little for poor Ali. It is SO damn hard when our furkids are going through things that we can't control or help as much as we'd like. You just feel so helpless. I am praying the meds will help and your dear boy will find inner peace and calm.

  7. Annie - Thanks, I certainly try, but so often feel inadequate. And thanks!!

    Dawn - It does make it worth while to see the name right up there for everyone to see!

    Don't we wish our pets could talk?

    Patti - It's very hard to watch and not know quite what to do. I feel so helpless. Thanks for the prayers.


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