Pieces of My Life

I've been thinking about this process of de-cluttering. As I've been going through folders and envelopes and stacks and piles of papers of all descriptions, I've had lots of thoughts going through my head. One thought kept coming back. "Why did I keep this?" I'd brush it away because I didn't know the answer. And I'd move on.

I've repeated this process over and over in the last few days. There was never an answer, so I would just shrug it off and move on to the next item and start it over again. "Why did I keep this?" "I donno." sigh.

Then late Saturday, I had an epiphany. Suddenly, it made sense.

All those things I've kept, the boxes and totes and file folders and envelopes full of greeting cards and notes from my children and scribbles from my grandchildren, my own notes of scribbles with quotes that meant something one time but which, at least regarding many of them, the importance now escaped me. But today, I began to notice that these mountains of paper all were reminders of a happy time. All were my thread of sanity for happiness at a time that I was caught in an miserably unhappy life.

I remember through the years sitting sometimes and going through those things. Reading the Mother's Day card made by my little girl in first grade was a direct line back to the time when she made it and there was a peace about that memory, even if there wasn't peace in my life at the time is was reading it years later. Looking at the plaster hand print of my son from kindergarten left me feeling at ease regardless of whatever else was going on in my life. Birthday cards from my step children made it possible for me to feel as if I was worthwhile, even when their father made me feel otherwise. These scraps of paper and mementos from happy snippets of my life kept me going.

So how can I turn lose of these things now? It's simple. My life is now filled with more happiness than all those things stacked to the sky. Each little paper that had a happy memory from the past used to be my anchor. I don't need to be anchored in that way any longer. They can go. I have other anchors, real events in my present life, to serve that purpose.

Well, most of them. I'll still keep some of the more special ones, but now I can part with a lot of that clutter. I still have the memories. That's what I need.

One of the little pieces of paper had a quote I scribbled some time long ago. I sent it to a good friend who is having a pretty strong person struggle, but I couldn't help thinking how it worked for me, too.

" The spirit that does not soar is destined to grovel." Benjamin Disraeli

I guess it has worked for me, because my dogged determination to not let the bad times get me down has pulled me through. Frankly, I'm not sure how, but here I am!

Isn't is strange how our minds work to make us get through the bad times?

Yes, Life is beautiful!!!