I have an update on the situation with the guy.
He did call on Sunday while I was in the yard. I haven't called back. I'm thinking about my reply.
He apologized, said lots going on with the family, would like to see me again. Very nice, not overly apologetic, upbeat and pleasant, sincere.
I understand the family thing, again. His 17 year old grandson has come to live with him. The kid has conflict with his stepfather, and everyone felt it might be best. Probably so. The stepfather sounds a lot like my late hub, very controlling and sets others up for failure and conflict. I get that teenagers need time from the adult(s). I get that both he and grandson are having adjustments while learning to live together. I get it, I really do.
But two minutes for a phone call is not a lot to ask. Oh, two minutes for a call in a timely fashion.
So I'm thinking it over for a couple days. I need to decide what I want to do. Then I will call or perhaps get his email addy from his friend and express myself that way. I don't know.
I felt [feel, perhaps?] that a friendship could be possible. Nice man, genuine-seeming. But if this is the pattern that I can expect, I'm not sure I want to put a lot of energy into it. Perhaps I should just cool my jets and let the natural course come about. Perhaps I'm pushing it or expecting too much. But common courtesy is something I expect from any friend, male/female, casual/involved, whatever. I expect my part of the relationship to be as important at that of the other person. Only once I feel that we are on the same page, that basic respect and consideration will be part of the formula, then can I let the natural course take over. Unless I can expect that, there is nothing further to be said.
At the moment, I'm thinking I'd say to him ... take care of what you need to, take a month or three months, whatever it takes, then call me when you have time to devote to developing a friendship. Again, I'll think it over and be sure what I want before I contact him. Then I can tell him my needs and expectations. I refuse to start out with all the emphasis on his wants and needs. If that is the case, I won't be a part of it at all.