These are random musings of my life journey, the people, animals, places, and events which have woven, and continue to weave, a tapestry that is me. We all know there is no real destination, only the ongoing experiences which blend together, creating the trail. Each step gives a glimpse of what is to come, without allowing me to see the end result. It is exciting. I have a home base that is mine, that gives me a place to rest. This is it. This is where my heart is, no matter where I journey...................

Friday, October 10, 2008

Dis & Dat

There have been a number of thought provoking comments on my update post about The Guy. I thought I would take a moment here to respond and expound on my thoughts.

If my #1 goal was romance, and if The Guy had made my heart flutter, I would probably be much more flexible and pick up the phone. I agree that full steam ahead is romance making.

However, the reality is that my #1 goal was friendship with romance as a "bonus" if it was in the air. The truth is The Guy tickled my friendship-gene, not my romance-gene.

Robert Redford would tickle my fancy enough to jump his bones before he could draw a second breath. But this situation looks like more work than romance. Nah. If he calls and is willing to meet me half-way in a friendship, I'm willing to see what happens, but I ain't carryin' the heavy end of his trunk loaded with dead-wife memories. That sounds disrespectful, and I apologize for that, but it is a fact.

I'd love it if I found a man with whom I could have a romance. However .... that is not my purpose at this time. I've had some really great loves in my life, and I'm not looking for "the next one." Nor do I feel I need that. I'm pretty happy with my life as it is. But a person can never have too many friends, so that is my goal. Whether the additional friends are male or female isn't important.

  • I'd like to have a male friend who likes to dance; I miss that.
  • I'd like friends who enjoy reading and discussing what we've read.
  • I'd like friends with an interest in good movies.
  • I'd like friends who enjoy playing board games.
  • I'd like friends who love to travel and we could share expenses.
  • I'd like friends for whom I could cook (meals for one are difficult) and who would like to reciprocate.
  • I'd like friends who enjoy hiking. OK, gentle hiking! And gentle camping, too.
  • I'd like friends with grandchildren so we can trade off on brags and showing off pictures.
  • I'd like friends who enjoy being with me enough to make an effort to do so. I want friends who call me as often as I call them, who invite me to do this or that as frequently as I do them, who consider my likes and dislikes to balance our friendship.
  • I'd like a special friend with whom I have such comfort that I would call with exciting news, nor know that a shoulder is there if I need to cry on it, or one with whom I could curl up on the couch to watch TV or watch the snow fall and just enjoy the togetherness .... and one that I would feel complete comfort in doing any of the above.

And if from that group of friends comes one person who begins to blossom into a special friend, the one with whom I would consider a romance, then woot, woot!!! I'm not dead, I'm just not feeling pressure from myself or anyone else to find a romantic relationship, especially one that takes a lot of work. I've worked at those relationships enough in my time. Now I want low pressure friends, and then let's see where it goes.

The Guy is truly a nice enough person that should he decide to call me and make himself active in the friendship development, I'd consider it. I liked that he was unpretentious, seems to be genuine, was laid back, cared deeply about his family, etc. He seemed to have lots of qualities that I admire. Now if he finds time to give a friendship a cut of that niceness, I'll consider it. But, as said before, I don't want to compete with memories, be his therapist, and I certainly don't want to hang out with anyone who feels guilty about our friendship. Once more, I'm worth better than that.


I'm going to lunch in a while. This is one of those cool things that happen occasionally and surprise me.

I got an email a few days ago from a woman who had stumbled across my blog. She wrote to ask about where I lived in NM. She was formerly a resident not too far from here, graduated from high school less than 100 miles away. And we are similar in age. We've emailed back and forth a few times, and when I learned that she if visiting a friend in Roswell and planning a trip to Ruidoso, I suggested that we meet for coffee or lunch. And in the last few hours we have been able to plan a lunch meeting! So I will soon have to get off the computer and get ready.

Since this woman lives in Northern Texas, it isn't likely that we will see each other often, but you just never know! See? A new friendship, albeit one that probably precludes many of the things on my above list. However, when I consider the friendships (cyber-, long distance-, and IRL types) I've developedwith many of you and continue to enjoy , I have to say .... who knows?


I had a third something-something to post about, and now it totally slips my mind. Huh. Well, I'll go get in the shower, and perhaps it will come to me later. If so I will be back. Oh, who am I kidding? I'll probably be back with another post later regardless! Silly Lynilu!

Till later!


  1. I'm glad to see that your wish for a friend is coming true at lunch today. You are very clear about your desires, and I see that it pays off.


  2. Awesome! I think this blogging thing is opening up the world, making us all more connected.

    I am enjoying reading your thoughts about The Guy. I actually think I like reading, blogging and commenting about dating more than I like dating. Hm. See why I am still single!(-:

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  4. I hope The Guy responds to your e-mail. If he doesnt, he sure missed the boat on having a great friend, if nothing else. If I lived closer.I would be proud to be considered a friend of yours. (well i know I can still be a friend, but doubt if we will ever meet) I have met people who are my friends in Pogo (Caroline knows pogo) but of course they are fairly local.


  5. Betty, it does pay off, doesn't it? And I had a fun lunch. Be sure to check the new post about it!

    (M)ary, it is always amazing and fun when things like this happen! LOL! I tend to agree with you on that. Reading, blogging and commenting is far more safe and comfortable!!

    Ruth, he still hasn't responded. I feel he won't. By the time he is ready to step out of that comfort zone, I suspect he will be too embarrassed to call, but we'll see. I've talked with his friend, and she understands that I'm not trying to close him out, so if she sees any sign from him, perhaps she will urge him to call anyway. We'll see.

  6. You have such a great attitude, Lyn. You certainly deserve the kind of friendship you described.

    P.S. I've been meaning to thank you for the women's suffrage emails. I've been sharing them with Toni who is very, very interested in politics. So thank you!

  7. Cathy, thanks. Tell Toni I'm very happy that she is so interested in politics and that I'll be watching to see her in the future, running for office or running a campaign for a candidate. Another issue of the Suffragette story just came in as I'm typing this, so I'll send it off soon.

    As for the friendship ... that is simply the kind of relationship/friendship that anyone should be able to have, one filled with commonalities and reciprocal caring.


If you have something to say about it, just stick out your thumb, and I'll slow down so you can hop aboard! But hang on, 'cause I'm movin' on down the road!!! No time to waste!!!