These are random musings of my life journey, the people, animals, places, and events which have woven, and continue to weave, a tapestry that is me. We all know there is no real destination, only the ongoing experiences which blend together, creating the trail. Each step gives a glimpse of what is to come, without allowing me to see the end result. It is exciting. I have a home base that is mine, that gives me a place to rest. This is it. This is where my heart is, no matter where I journey...................

Friday, December 19, 2008

Hmmmmm

****UPDATED BELOW****

Strange.

A blogger with whom I've traded comments for quite a long time suddenly dissed me. I'm not sure what the deal is.

She wrote a rather sad post about the difficult economic times she is having and her faith that all would be well in the end. I commented with what I thought was a supportive post recounting a time in my life that was also very challenging and noting the faith that carried me through. To my surprise, when I published the comment, I found she had added the feature that allows for her to review the comments before publishing. I have no problem with that, I was just surprised and wondered what had changed. As I always do, I checked back several times to see if she responded (yes, I do that!) but she hadn't published my comment, or any others, for that matter.

A week later she posted about how she had shared the story, hoping to get "encouragement" and "prayers," and how sometimes we are disappointed that others don't respond as we wish. I thought about what I had written to her, and while I don't recall the word-for-word, I felt sure that I was supportive. So I dropped her an email in which I told her that if I had offended her I was sorry and that I thought I was being supportive. I didn't hear from her. I waited another few days and when she posted again, something unrelated, I dropped another email asking that if I was out of line, to please let me know as I would like the opportunity to apologize.

Now several more days have passed and I haven't heard back. Additionally she has now shut out all comments on all posts. Well. Clearly I offended her, but I still don't know how. But I'll give it up. She clearly does not want to deal with me. So be it.

I'm not asking for solutions. At this point, there is none, other than what might come from her, and that seems unlikely. I did what I could based on what I know. I'm just lamenting the situation. I think it is really sad when someone gets offended but doesn't allow for resolution. I try to be sensitive and listen to others, but I do make mistakes. I appreciate knowing when I've been offhanded about something because my nature is to be kind and gentle, to set things right if possible. But I can't change what I don't know.

It is just strange. And sad.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

UPDATE!!!!

I almost didn't publish the above. I'm glad I did. I heard from this person by email almost immediately as she is still reading my blog.

First of all, she has a new email addy, so the emails I sent went into the never-never-land of AT&T (BTW, that is one of the things I really hate about AT&T - they don't advise you if the account is closed). Secondly, for some reason, the comment I left never reached her. I don't know why, because when I posted it was when I was notified that she had monitoring turned on and it would be published after her approval. Perhaps a glitch in Blogger? Never-the-less, she didn't get it. She checked for several days, and when no one commented with support, she was so saddened that no one cared enough to even comment, so she decided to block all comments to avoid having to face the empty comment box.

I'm going to ask all of you to remember this unnamed person and her family in your prayers and meditations. Her situation is pretty bad. I'm not going into details, but trust me, she has a horrendous task ahead of her to climb out of a situation that has been two years in the making. She has struggled to make it work, but was not able to overcome some huge obstacles. She needs every kind word and every prayer we can give her. If you want, you can leave her some words here on my blog and I'll pass them along.

See how important our internet relationships can be?

16 comments:

  1. And speaking of dissing! hehe... ok, not really but, did you get the Christmas card I sent? heeheehahahahaha...I'm not making fun of your dilemma, I hate when that stuff happens. I'm sorry. Blog friends are still friends aren't they and it does hurt sometimes. I have a SNOW DAY today! Yippeeee! I'm watching the snow fall as I type this. Peace my friend.

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  2. I don't think it has anything to do with you or your comment. From the sounds of it, it is something that this person is going through and she has to deal with it on her own for right now. Maybe she does not see at this point in time that your only trying to help. You've reached out what more can you do? I think you are a very kind and gentle woman. Thats why daisy and I can't wait to meet you. :-)

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  3. It is strange and sad ... and nosey me wishes I knew who it was!
    Whoever it is - I wish them well!

    Don't stress out over it hon.

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  4. Oh, Traci, you silly person! Yes, I got the card, thank you. I just haven't mailed my own yet, and honestly, I think I'm going to email my letter because of the late date and to go green (saving ink and paper, a costs for myself) as far as possible. You'll get one either way!

    Yes, friends are friends, period. I'm just flummoxed at the silence, I think, because she is a person that I would plan to visit when I'm in her area. It's sad. Happy Snow Day!!

    Man, perhaps I'm a stickler for things, but since I sent two emails, I'm just stunned that she didn't reply, even to say, "I'll get back with you later." I think you are right that I've done all I can, at least for now. If something comes from her later on .... fine.

    Yeah! Meeting our new friends is something to look forward to, isn't it? Have you thought about how the definition of "friend" must have changed in recent years? Blogs have made us friends when the face to face has not been possible. Cool world. :)

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  5. Patti, it is someone you might actually "know" in the internet way. LOL! I wish her well, too, I'm just sorry that I don't have the opportunity to set things right. No, I'm not stressed. I think I posted this to remind all of us that there is actually a relationship there, even if we haven't met IRL.

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  6. Honey I can surely testify how important internet relationships are and ther person is definitely in my prayers.
    Although I have been fortunate enough to meet you IRL, you have "been there" for me many times via email, phone and text! I appreciate you so much!
    I'd be LOST without my "internet" friends - seriously!

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  7. Oh, Patti, I know what you mean. I've made some friends that aren't IRL ones yet, but I wouldn't hesitate to call on them. As I said (more than once, I think) friends is friends is friends.

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  8. I'm glad you posted this. It shows how easily things can be misunderstood or misread by not communicating face to face. I'm thrilled to read your update and will keep her and her family in my prayers. I will also remember this the next time I feel dissed or hurt by a fellow blogger. I know my biggest problem is I take things too personally. I'm not saying you did this, I loved the way you dealt with it. I will just keep this in mind if I find myself in that type of situation again.
    XXXXXX

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  9. Cheryl, I'm glad it had a useful message for you. I think that was why I wrote it. I felt that I had not done wrong, but was concerned about her perception, especially since I knew she was hurting very deeply. We can all take lessons, can't we? Thanks for your words. :)

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  10. I have a "internet friend" who is a manic depressive and I told her she has to call and say goodbye before she harms her self ( I did this so I could get help to her if she did carry out her plan).Well she couldnt get a hold of me so she checked herself into the hospital so I know how important friends can be in life or through a computer all some of us need is an encourgaing word. As for your friend needing prayers I will definatly add her to mine. It is so tough and Lyn thank you for being my friend.

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  11. Red, you are right on. We all need friends to get us through, and sometimes the internet friends feel safer than even IRL. It is important to remember that it is a 2 way street, too. I'm glad your friend had the wherewithall to get help till she could say goodbye to you. Good plan. Thanks for the prayers. I know she will appreciate it.

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  12. Internet relationships are SOOOOO important! I never would have made it these past few years without my blog friends! :)
    (((hugs))) and prayers for your friend.

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  13. YG, I agree! I was widowed, retired, and moved all in the course of a year. I don't know how I would have survived without the blog friends I made during that same year. I know your situation also necessitated a whole new start.

    Thanks for your prayers. I know she will appreciate it. And good to hear from you!

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  14. Thoughts and prayers to your blog buddy.

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  15. The bad thing about computers is how easy miscommunication can happen. I'm glad things got squared away with your friend. Send her my prayers and well wishes.

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  16. Daisy, thank you so much. :)

    MJ, true, but the biggest thing is trusting the computer to do it's part .... like publish a comment or deliver an email. I love computers, but geez! They are not totally reliable. And thanks for the prayers. I know she appreciates it, too. :)

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If you have something to say about it, just stick out your thumb, and I'll slow down so you can hop aboard! But hang on, 'cause I'm movin' on down the road!!! No time to waste!!!