These are random musings of my life journey, the people, animals, places, and events which have woven, and continue to weave, a tapestry that is me. We all know there is no real destination, only the ongoing experiences which blend together, creating the trail. Each step gives a glimpse of what is to come, without allowing me to see the end result. It is exciting. I have a home base that is mine, that gives me a place to rest. This is it. This is where my heart is, no matter where I journey...................

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Mild moments

I'm feeling .... something .... today. The closest think I can say is melancholy, but that's not quite it. Melancholy has a sad component to it, and I'm not really sad. Perhaps it would be better to say my mood is mellow? But mellow indicates a mood that has a sweetness, and that's not quite right either. Introspective, perhaps. Neutrally introspective. That's how I woke this morning, with gentle thoughts going through my mind, reminiscing.

There didn't seem to be any theme or pattern to my thoughts this morning. I've simply had a stream of thoughts wafting through my head, like a movie with unrelated clips strung together. Interestingly, nothing particular even comes to my forethought now, so I can't even tell you what some topics were. Isn't that odd?

I think it is probably a fairly normal thing as one approaches a momentous event, in my case a surgery. I remember having a similar time before a surgery in 1996. But it might be triggered by a birth or a death, leaving behind a long time home in a move, a marriage, or numerous other important events in our lives. I remember some of the same while preparing to leave my home of 30 years in Kansas City, and prior to the weddings of my kids in the 90s, also.

Do you do this? I think most people do. What's the last time you had a mellow, melancholy, or whatever kind of day? Care to share what it was all about?


  1. Many thoughts have bee running through my mind lately, mostly anxious thoughts. Today is the day we see the doctor about Bob's bone marrow disorder.

    The last two days I've been thinking back over the years and wondering if this might be the beginning of the end of Bob's life. Thinking a lot about his personality. Thinking about what my life would be like without him.

    I've also been preparing myself that he might require such a sterile environment that we would not be able to have our pets. I've thought about how their lives will change.

    I'm not sure if that is mellow thinking or if that is "what if"

  2. Ahh, Linda. Good luck today. I hope, as often happens, your are recipients of words much less threatening than you worry about ahead of time. :)

    Yeah, I think it is the same kind of thought, but sometimes, the closer we get to "the event," the more what-ifs come into it. I will probably be that way next week.

    I'll be looking to your blog later to see what the news is. I'm holding you and Bob both near today. Peace.

  3. Hmmm......I feel like most of the changes in my life have been abrupt or dramatic so my mellow days happen after a sting of calm days. Then the thioughtfulness kicks in as I think about what just happened. Maybe, the last time was after my dad had his heart attack earlier this year. Mary (ox)

  4. PS. Good Luck! I am going to miss you online so come back soon

  5. Mary, yeah, something like that often does awaken a thoughtful episode.

    I'll be around for the following week, then I would guess I'll be away for a week or less. Time will tell.

  6. after may was melancholy for me. Glad to be coming out of it I hope.

  7. I think what you're feeling is natural. I remember thinking like that myself when I underwent surgery some years back.

    What I remember better now is coming out of the recovery room, very much under the grip of some powerful painkillers, asking how late the pool was open and really feeling quite uninhibited.

    I hope your own surgery goes well. But I'm sure it will.

  8. Bobbie, yeah, that was certainly a melancholy time for you. And you'll still have those moments for a long time to come. That's natural. But you're healing, finely.

    Dave, yes, I think it is natural. I've had similar times before. I hope I come out of the anesthetic calling for a pool party, too! LOL! I love that!

    Thanks, I feel good about the surgery and outcome. Now, the morning of .... who knows! It will be fine, thanks.

  9. Somehow, I think the new year triggers days and thoughts like you have just described. It happens to me too. I really never know when days like that will come, nor can I say why, but they aren't altogether unpleasant. Just, well just there.

    As I get older, these kinds of thoughts aren't unwelcome. I think it's neat to write about them. Next time I have a day like that, I'll journal it.

    Take care. I'm glad your surgery will be over soon.

    ~hippo hugs~

  10. Hippo Chick, you're right, this time of the year spurs reflection. I agree that as time goes on, it becomes almost a second-nature sort of thing to do so, and it isn't a bad thing at all.

    Thanks for the well-wishes. :)

  11. I have those kind of days too.
    And right now, I am in need of one.
    Today has been a crying day, not sad or mad, just crying. (for not particular reason but to relieve stress and tension, I think.)

    so glad you are at peace with your upcoming surgery, I am keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.


  12. I'm with you there! I certainly know what it's like to have that kind of day. Taking my age into consideration, I think I'm supposed to have melancholy days sometimes. My husband is having surgery this month too - all should be well. I wish you well and good luck with yours. I'll send up a prayer for you. --Cheryl

  13. Kim, I think we all days like that. Sometime I find myself on the threshold of tears with no idea why. Thanks for the prayers. All appreciated. :)

    Cheryl, yeah, the age doesn't help the situation, does it? gah. And it is so strange that in the last few days I've hear of several friends or their spouses having surgery soon. What is in the air? or the water? Thank you for the prayers and I'll remember your dear hub, too.

  14. This happens to me when something out of the norm is coming up, and the anxiety has passed, and the acceptance has sort of come. I tend to go into this mellow phase, when I accept what is coming up, like when I had my hysterectomy, I tend to get really mellow and reflective. With me it has to do with getting past the anxiety, accepting the upcoming change or event and my body/mind seems to naturally go into this mellow/surrender type place. Lots of thoughts, but no real theme.

    I wish you luck with your surgery. I will keep you in my prayers and keep you close to my heart.

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