These are random musings of my life journey, the people, animals, places, and events which have woven, and continue to weave, a tapestry that is me. We all know there is no real destination, only the ongoing experiences which blend together, creating the trail. Each step gives a glimpse of what is to come, without allowing me to see the end result. It is exciting. I have a home base that is mine, that gives me a place to rest. This is it. This is where my heart is, no matter where I journey...................

Monday, November 15, 2010

How it went

I though I'd mention what the experience of "living with" a man after all these years. And BTW, why is it that ....
co·hab·it  (k-hbt)
intr.v. co·hab·it·ed, co·hab·it·ing, co·hab·its
1. To live together in a sexual relationship, especially when not legally married.
2. To coexist, as animals of different species.
.... if humans "cohabit" it includes sex; but animals "coexist"  when they "cohabit"??? Just wondering.

Anyway .... 

The last time I lived in the same house with a man, it was for six months while I looked for my own home. I was living in the home of my stepson. That's not like living with most men, because he isn't like most men. Yeah, I said what I meant. Allan is a quiet, neat person who doesn't expect others to pick up after him. He shares cooking and housecleaning. He is just a great roommate. That was four years ago, and I've realized I might not do well living in the same house with any man. I no longer have the tolerance I had at one time for the average man who has expectations of me. I know that sounds bad, but I like living by myself, and I realize that I might be a difficult roommate for most men and they for me.

Dell and I talked about it, and he, also, questioned how well it might work while I was there. He's also been without a female companion for a long time. He told me he might have to remember to not pick his nose. He's used to walking around the house nude. We knew it might be a challenge for us both.

However, it went well. He wore clothes and didn't pick his nose. Beyond that, it was nice to be around a man who is used to doing everything for himself and didn't expect anything greater than sharing activities and responsibilities. We shared cooking and doing dishes, each did our own laundry and took turns washing linens. We took turns on the computer. It was a comfortable routine.

I enjoyed that Dell is one of those guys who is who he is. He doesn't put on airs.  I was impressed that he watched The View and Oprah, at least part of the time. He prefers movies that aren't violent and isn't afraid to watch romantic comedies. He talks about his emotions, and when he speaks of his son and his friends, he doesn't mask his affection for anyone in his life. When we found the horses that were in need of care, he was the one who said it needed to be reported. I was going to do so, but I didn't have to, as he began making calls as soon as we were back at the house. He has a kind heart and isn't afraid to let anyone know it. Yeah, there are such men left in the world! Thank goodness!

Dell was courteous without being condescending. He made me feel comfortable in his home right off the bat and it stayed that way. I really enjoyed my time with him. The idea of spending two weeks in the home of a man I hadn't seen in 50 years, 3300 or so miles from home was a huge undertaking. If it hadn't worked out so well, it could have been such a miserable situation for us both. He was a wonderful host.  It was great.


  1. This was a sweet post ~ and it sure was nice of Dell not to go nude and pick his nose ... lol. I have a son that could take some lessons. Seriously, sometimes I look at that kid and say ,"who are you??" Then I look at his father and it all comes back to me ~ he's the spitting image of his daddy. Then I realize ~ yes there's still hope for him.

  2. giggle! It's good to look at him through a different lens, isn't it? Boys!

  3. Sounds like a real gentle man. He probably had few misgivings before your stay as well.

    Glad yu had a good time.

  4. Merikay, he is. And yes, he was wondering how it would work out, too. We are both glad it did OK!

  5. It sounds as if it was a worthwhile experience on both sides. It takes the whole lifetime of grown-up children to help us to face them for who they have become. Sometimes it is good and sometimes not, the main thing is to accept them as they are. The trouble comes if they don't accept their oldies the way we are!

  6. Well I've always said that you were a brave woman Lyn! Jake and I get alone really well when he's home. He takes over most of the chores to give me a break. We also have fun together but I think that if I didn't have him any more, God forbid, I'd be happy by myself. I don't think that I'd ever want to live with someone. Date perhaps but not live with!
    Love Di ♥

  7. Freda, you touched on what I think is a real gift for giver and receiver .... accepting them the way they are. I think we managed well because neither had expectations of the other. Good!

    Di, just what I've said so many times. I have learned a lot about myself and my relationships over the past few years, and it would be nice to have someone who is around frequently and is a special person to lean on and hold close, but living together seems like a lot of adjusting on both parts. Honestly? I'm probably difficult to live with!

  8. I live by myself for 20 years before Cowboy moved in. He's been a pleasant addition to my home. I didn't have to change as much as I was concerned about.

    So glad you had such a good time. We are talking about going next summer. I hope we get to make the trip.

  9. .......and it was sweet of him to dance with you in the kitchen....

    He sounds like a very nice man and he was lucky to have such a nice houseguest. It could have gone either way!!!!!!!

  10. MJ, I hope you get to go, too. It was fun, and I'm glad I went. I'm gladder to be home! I appreciate being back where my heart is. :)

    Ruth, yes, it was. I enjoyed it for the spontaneity of it! And yes, he s a nice man. We are both VERY luck for how well it went.


If you have something to say about it, just stick out your thumb, and I'll slow down so you can hop aboard! But hang on, 'cause I'm movin' on down the road!!! No time to waste!!!