These are random musings of my life journey, the people, animals, places, and events which have woven, and continue to weave, a tapestry that is me. We all know there is no real destination, only the ongoing experiences which blend together, creating the trail. Each step gives a glimpse of what is to come, without allowing me to see the end result. It is exciting. I have a home base that is mine, that gives me a place to rest. This is it. This is where my heart is, no matter where I journey...................

Sunday, May 08, 2011

Just a day in the life

Today has been .... a very weird day for me. Emotional ups and downs.

I'm actually better than I was yesterday, but still dealing with the sadness about my mom and sister, then the death yesterday just deepened it. I'm just all off kilter.

Last night the deer were apparently roaming around. I'm guessing they are looking for water in this drought. I keep a tub of water at the edge of the property for them. While they were roaming through the woods, the dogs kept waking, barking and tearing out the door to the back yard. Then I'd get them back in, think a while about my mom and sis and my daughter's MIL, finally, drop off to sleep again, and in a while we would repeat the process. I finally closed the window to cut down on the sound and closed the doggy door to keep them in. It was an exhausting night. 

I have stayed busy most of the day as I said I would. Talked with my kids and really enjoyed that. I've also talked with a couple friends, and in between all the talking, I got some of the moving/reorganizing done. It is a slow task, but I can see progress, and that is what matters. When I'm ready I will call Wonder Boy to help me move the large pieces of furniture. Then the task of putting everything in the right place (sometimes that means the trash can) will begin. I have two tubs ready now, one for trash, the other for things to go to a thrift store. My goal is to have 1/3 at the end of that process of what I do now. Some things can't be culled that easily, snapshots I'm scanning, CDs, etc., but everything else? It'll be thinned. Oh, BTW, I've already filled a large tote with things for the thrift shop, and I'm guessing I'll have at least two more before I'm done.

In and around all this, I have eaten and eaten and eaten. I'm in one of those modes where nothing I eat satisfies me. I've munched and nibbled and sipped and noshed and snacked and .... well, you get the idea. Now I still feel unsatisfied, but I'm bloated, too. Gah, I hate this. When I'm nervous or anxious, this is what I do. I wish, oh, how I wish, I would lose my appetite like normal people do!! But no, my appetite just gets off-kilter and I end up eating the kitchen sink. I'm not hungry, you understand; I just have that itch that isn't being satisfied.  Hope it is done by tomorrow so I can keep my head on work.

So that's my day. Not a celebration, for sure, but in the big picture, it wasn't bad, either. I know life will turn around and be back on track soon. I'd like to ask once again for prayers for my daughter and her whole family. They are going through so much. I wish I could make everything right for her, but I can't. And honestly, even if I could, she will be better for making it right on her own. I can't deny her that strength and character growth. Life is not always easy, but when we are able to look back on it, it's worth it for the new life we have. She will get there. It will be better with your prayers.  :)


  1. there is a saying and I cant remember it exactly but the jist of it is life gives us character sometimes too much at once. But then people say what doesnt kill us makes us stronger. Praying for peace for everyone Bobbie

  2. scr ewwwww character growth....I'm done... just sayin' I've had enough thank you!

  3. And thank you to everyone who is saying prayers... I really appreciate it! They are much needed.
    I love you momma!

  4. Thank you, Bobbie.u

    And, uhm, ooooookay, TL! Gotcha! And I understand how tired you are of it. Don't say as I blame you. Sending hugs along with the prayers. I love you, too, babygirl!

  5. Sorry you had such a hard weekend and I hope with time there is some peace for everyone.

    I didn't have a bad weekend, but I would say that I was pretty reflective. Maybe one day Mother's Day won't hurt so badly.

  6. Caroline, this, like everything, will pass. It just sucks at the time you're going through it, ya know? Same for you. It may always be a sensitive day, but some day it will be less intense.


If you have something to say about it, just stick out your thumb, and I'll slow down so you can hop aboard! But hang on, 'cause I'm movin' on down the road!!! No time to waste!!!