These are random musings of my life journey, the people, animals, places, and events which have woven, and continue to weave, a tapestry that is me. We all know there is no real destination, only the ongoing experiences which blend together, creating the trail. Each step gives a glimpse of what is to come, without allowing me to see the end result. It is exciting. I have a home base that is mine, that gives me a place to rest. This is it. This is where my heart is, no matter where I journey...................

Saturday, May 14, 2011


That means "Thank God It's The Weekend." And I do mean that. It's been a busy, rather hectic week for me (at work and elsewhere) and for almost everyone I know. I'm glad to have a couple days to decompress.

This is the weirdest thing in a while. I whined and moaned about blogger being down for those days, then when it was back up and running, I have pulled a total blank! How ridiculous is that?

Here is a little something that may be related to the fact that I can't remember all those things I was dying to write about and now can't remember. Since I have recently had a couple of the more uncomfortable and intense bouts of fibromyalgia I've had in a long time, I decided I should read up. It is one of those syndromes that is still "new," still having new discoveries, etc. I used to check on it often. Since I hadn't had any debilitating sieges for a while, I haven't kept up.

When I was reading about the various aspects of it, I saw something I hadn't seen before, fibrofog.  Lights began blinking over my head, bells were clanging, and I think I heard a couple whistles, too. I've had a few times in recent weeks that worried me. If you know my family history, you might remember my mother had Alzheimer's, my brother has Parkinson's, my grandmother had dementia of an undefined type, and my sister was showing signs of early dementia before her death. I've experienced a number of occasions recently when I was at work when I was having trouble keeping my focus. At times, it felt as if my head was .... wait for it .... in a fog, as if I weren't completely awake. I had trouble keeping my thoughts trained to the task at hand. Sometimes, I had several things going on at once, and my previously solid multi-tasking skills were simply MIA. My desk would look like a giant paper-pooping bird had stopped to rest there for a while. I tried to sort out the possible causes, and in the process wondered about whether the job stress was too much for this old gal or if the demon dementia was closer than I realized.

I don't worry a lot, as a rule, about dementia. But it is never far from my mind, either. I quietly prayed that my problems were from age and stress! How sad is it that those should be the "better" options?? Not that any cause for thought impairment is good, but "The Big A" is very scary.

So, reading about fibrofog was a relief for me. When I realized that those foggy moments have occurred in correlation with the recent flares of "The Big FM," it made me feel better. Now I have several things to focus my worries on outside of that one that is the worst. Crazy! As I write this I realize the ludicrousness of the fact that I'm finding comfort in thinking fibrofog is better than dememtia!! Neither is curable! However, reading about fibrofog makes me think it isn't as permanent or deep or totally debilitating. Am I clutching at straws? Perhaps. But it has made me feel less stress than I did before. Anything helps.

So .... how is your weekend starting?  LOL! I'm not as morbid as that sounds. However, it feels good to see it, to say it, and to move on to other things. I'm a little tired, so will going to take it fairly easy today. Then I'll see how tomorrow shapes up when it gets here. Again, what are your weekend plans?


  1. Have you tried any food changes to see if that helps the Fibromyalgia, it seems to help my sister. Maybe some underlying food allergies or maybe there are just some foods that cause the flares.

  2. Doctors always tell you "if you think you have Alzheimers, you don't" My last visit to the doc I mentioned that memory isn't what it should be and he said "you don't have alzheimers"..then he said, you are all right and prescribed a multivitamin. All that does is make me hungry!

  3. Teri, I was just talking to a friend about that, but in regards to a different health issue. And I've heard that before. I may be changing the diet, depending on labs and other tests being done soon, anyway, so we'll see what happens.

    Moni, I know, and I agree. Well, except that my mom was well aware of her diminishing capacity in the early stages. There is a fine line, and I'm trying to avoid being overly reactive to the sometimes blurry edges of that line. I've also heard, "Don't worry until it affects your functioning." Uh-huh, IT IS!! I just don't know for sure what "it" is!!

  4. I totally understand the fog and the worry over the fog. I suffer from hypothyroidism which also causes 'fuzzy thinking' at times. I also am really suffering from a flare up from lumbar and cervical stenosis. Some have put forth the theory that I also have fibromyalgia. I have not been diagnosis with it at this point.

    I hope your weekend brings you some rest and relief. I am sure that emotional stress from other factors never helps. Take care.

  5. Growing older is scary. We never thought it would happen to us.

    I was talking to a 58 year old friend and had to laugh at him because he said he was "old!"

  6. I was dx'd with FM in my late 40's along with severe osteoarthritis. I was working in IT at the time and the fibrofog was scary. Now I guess I'm used to it...LOL!

  7. RET, FMS is related to or overlaps with many other things, and it is sometimes hard to sort out what's what. The best thing I can about it is that once you are diagnosed, there is a sigh of relief because you know you're not crazy with the confusing symptoms!

    Merikay, I still refuse to believe it! "Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional," and since I"m not growing up, I refuse to believe I'm old! I know what you mean about those "kids" in their 50s! LOL!

    Donna, I know I've had bouts of the fibrofog in the past, but this is the first time I've had to come face to face with it. I suppose it was less imposing when I was working before, then I retired, and now, since I'm back to work, I'm really aware of it. I think when I was retired I didn't notice it because I just laid down and went to sleep when I couldn't think! LOL!!

  8. I absolutely totally get what you are saying about the fibrofog! I have similar issues with my migraines.
    There is alzheimers and parkinson in my family and I have moments of uncordination and forgetfulness. Then I remember that the migraine aura is probably the issue! Occam's Razor:
    The simplest explanation is probably the correct one, I tell myself.

  9. Mary, if we use that assumption, if nothing else, we save time, anyway. Yeah, let's go for that.

  10. I have fibromyalgia as a chronic, usually rumbling in the background kind of thing..... along with the aftermath of TIAs and high BP - and I also have the family history of dementia. It is encouraging to read about the brain fog you speak of. It explains a lot.

  11. Freda, yes, it explains a lot, and having the knowledge takes off some pressure, doesn't it?

    For Freda or anyone intereted, this is an excellent, very inclusive site for information:


If you have something to say about it, just stick out your thumb, and I'll slow down so you can hop aboard! But hang on, 'cause I'm movin' on down the road!!! No time to waste!!!