These are random musings of my life journey, the people, animals, places, and events which have woven, and continue to weave, a tapestry that is me. We all know there is no real destination, only the ongoing experiences which blend together, creating the trail. Each step gives a glimpse of what is to come, without allowing me to see the end result. It is exciting. I have a home base that is mine, that gives me a place to rest. This is it. This is where my heart is, no matter where I journey...................

Sunday, July 31, 2011

Invisibility

If you are my friend on Facebook, you've already seen this, but I have more to say than FB allows. Well, I could say it in a "note," but I prefer my rambling posts to be here. Most people on FB, myself included, are there for fast updates, quick reads, and my experience is that few bother to read the more extensive "notes." So when I want to be heard/read, I come here.

This was in the morning funnies ....

(Don't forget you can click on it to enlarge, if you wasnt more detail or can't read the print)




What I said about it was "OMG, yes! One comment is all it takes!! I got one the other day, and I was floating!" And this cartoon set me thinking about the contrast to my recent post here about being "invisible" to folks under 30. I have felt myself fading into the backdrops of life for a while. It happens with aging, as younger people are focused on the sizzle and burn of their lives, and those us us who are slowing down and becoming a bit long in the tooth become less actors and more the comfortable scenery in the background. 


I'll confess a bit of vanity here. I was accustomed to being lucky most of my life. I was one of the "pretty ones," the ones who got attention without trying. I also was blessed with a bubbly and attractive personality. So with aging, I just plain miss the attention of those times. Yeah, I know. Shallow as it may be, it is what I was used to, and now this blending into the background has been sometimes disheartening. 


I'm aging. I know that! And I'm OK with it for the most part. Not that I like the wrinkles and sags, but I don't think of them as anything but the normal process. I look in the mirror and go "Euuw," but then I move on. If I were looking for a man in my life, it would be someone with similar creases and folds, not a hunky 40 year old with 6-pack abs, so it is alright! But believe it or not, the ignoring bothers me more than the thought of aging.


Recently I've been blessed with a couple events that were pleasant for my ego. One was as I was walking through an art show and a woman was walking toward me. We spoke pleasantries and walked on a few steps, then she turned and said, "Excuse me." When I turned she stepped close and told me how beautiful I was! She mentioned my clothing and my smile, and she said she just had to tell me because I brightened her day. We chatted for five minutes or so, and went on our separate ways.
And for the remainder of the day, I felt better about myself.



Then last week I took my car in for an oil change. The man took down all my information, we discussed the oil type,and all the necessary details. As I turned to walk away, he said, "Ma'am, may I say something?" I said, "Sure," and he told me that I was a very pretty lady, and that he had noticed my smile before. He said, "I know it is probably out of line, but I thought you should hear it."


Not out of line, at all!! I needed to hear those things! It makes a person's day when we compliment them or say something pleasant, and most of all, with those who are in our lives daily. We tend to overlook our husbands, wives, kids, parents, siblings, etc. Even coworkers, friends. 


Take a note from that cartoon and from my words, and actually notice and verbalize to people around you today. No, make it this week. Today, at home, show your love and appreciation. Then next week do it outside the house. You may never know how much someone appreciates it, but they will!!

13 comments:

  1. You summed it up quite well and I totally agree. That whistle from the construction workers (yes, it's not just in commercials)or even being "carded" for an alcohol purchase give a wee boost to the girlie part of me! Rock on, Beautiful Lady!

    ReplyDelete
  2. So true! I was one of the awkward shy ones growing up until a couple of life-changing events graced my life. I was still a skinny beanpole, but I at least had cracked out of the shell.

    Your recommendations are well taken here. Will let you know what transpires!

    ReplyDelete
  3. That's nice. And it's a nice idea. I try to do it anyhow, but sometimes it's good to be reminded.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Your post is right on target. I had a similar incident about 10 years ago. I was at a luncheon and this very attractive younger woman who I had never met before looked at me sincerely and said "you are beautiful". It really caught me off guard but I have remembered the incident to this day. It really does make a difference, especially to those of us who don't hear it any more! Glad you've had some nice compliments lately!! You deserve them!

    ReplyDelete
  5. I have always thought you were beautiful with that gorgeous smile. I have looked at lots of your photos and you are incredibly photogenic, and bsides that you have a terrific personality !!

    SO THERE MY FRIEND !!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  6. I have often thought you were a very attractive person from your picture. You do have a nice smile!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Just a few kind words can be a priceless gift to someone who is feeling blue. We all should make an effort to compliment others more often.

    ReplyDelete
  8. You are right on with this post. I totally understand how you feel. Aging can be hard because we seem to have to redefine who we are. I also had my share of compliments when I was younger. I was petite and slender until I was nearly 50 without ever trying. People always thought I was 10 to 15 years younger than I was. It is a slippery slope when we base the way we feel on how we look, but we are never really the best judges of that. Anorexics think they are fat.

    On the other hand, a compliment is so uplifting. I sometimes want to ask, "Are you serious?" when someone compliments me. It is important to compliment sincerely when compliments are due. You do have a lovely smile...truly.

    ReplyDelete
  9. We shouldn't place too great a value on looks, but it is a part of our lives, our self-assessment, isn't it? At any rate, I'm glad to hear that you are "paying it forward" for others. Thanks, all!

    ReplyDelete
  10. I get it!! Except for my husband I rarely hear a compliment anymore. That is unless it's from someone over sixty but that's o.k. It makes me feel like the younger woman!!
    Love Di ♥

    ReplyDelete
  11. Hey, I don't care from where!!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Of course, if you're a guy, you have to be careful what you say to women where you work, lest it be taken the wrong way. You can even be accused of sexual harrassment. So all my compliments go my wife's way. Safer.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Ahhh, Dave, a good point. I'm torn, being rather old school about it. I agree that sexual harassment is sometimes a problem and should be addressed, but the sad part is that the rest of us pay for it via distanced relationships, appropriate relationships that now have miles built into them. I think because we protect from the few who offend by targeting the entire population, we have reinforced the social distances brought on by electronic communication. It's a nasty cycle.

    I'm glad you compliment your SIL. And your wife, I assume!!!

    ReplyDelete

If you have something to say about it, just stick out your thumb, and I'll slow down so you can hop aboard! But hang on, 'cause I'm movin' on down the road!!! No time to waste!!!