These are random musings of my life journey, the people, animals, places, and events which have woven, and continue to weave, a tapestry that is me. We all know there is no real destination, only the ongoing experiences which blend together, creating the trail. Each step gives a glimpse of what is to come, without allowing me to see the end result. It is exciting. I have a home base that is mine, that gives me a place to rest. This is it. This is where my heart is, no matter where I journey...................

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

No popcorn

No, this isn't THAT post, so if that's all you're waiting for, just pack up your popcorn and move on!

No, what's on my mind now is a trend among young women that truly bothers me. After decades, well, actually centuries, of fighting for equality with men, I've been noticing young women doing something that really troubles me. I hear women in their 20s, 30s and even 40s (definitely should know better) calling each other names that are icky. Now, they will tell you when they call a friend "Bitch" that it is just a joke, it's not "that kind" of bitch, it doesn't mean what you think it does, etc. Maybe. Words morph over time, I agree. Still, it bothers me.

Now I've recently heard them calling each other "Hooker." I've heard it or read it on FB several times in recent weeks or months. Today I saw it again. "Happy Birthday, Hooker," one said to the other. Yes, it was light-hearted and the two I'm referring to are good friends. But why call a friend by a demeaning name, a name that if a man spoke, they would probably be incensed and wonder why he had the nerve?

"Skank" is another of those names. OK, I know I'm nearly 68, and things are changing around me faster than I would like. I try to adapt to my environment and be aware and involved of current trends. But you call me "Skank," and fur will fly!

I understand that within groups there are certain cultural phrases that are used, and if people use it privately, well, it is sad, but I can't argue with that. But when it is publicly expressed, it's almost like a set up, like, "C'mon say it! I dare you!" to people outside the protection of that group. I don't like that. Bill Cosby has denounced such language over and over again. Again, I just don't understand how a group sees fit to tag each other with slang titles that lower self image.

I wasn't a bra-burner, although I'm the right age for that. But I have long and quietly worked for equal rights for women, for culturally segregated groups, for many misunderstood collectives*, and it just seems so wrong to me that we would purposely and light-heartedly issue put downs like this.

Call me old fashioned. I'm OK with that, particularly in this situation. I hope we can all reach out to young women and encourage a language of love and support, leading by our own examples.


* Following Katrina I had many disheartening discussions with people who just didn't get why "those people" would want to go back to New Orleans. If you understand human nature to resist change, you know that they wanted to go back because, good or bad, that wa the only home many of them knew. If you've ever had a circumstance in which you felt trapped by poverty, you understand that you are sometimes helpless to grasp that a change might be better. I could go on, but that's a whole post i itself.


  1. Oh my I was going to greet you with "Hey !# " but I thought better, LOL!!
    I've only really noticed this on T.V. although I'm sure it happens at Kate's school and other places. I can't explain it Lyn. I raised my kids to be respectful of others. And from what I can see, they are. So maybe it's the parents or just the ever changing world that we live in.
    All I know is that I went to Charm School at Sears (Really) when I was in the sixth grade and was taught how to act like a lady. Even if I can't really be one, I know how to act like one at least, LOL!!
    Seriously though, I have two children in their 30's and can't imagine either one acting or talking like that. Of coarse I did spend my time teaching them manners, something that is sorely lacking today. I actually thought about having a manners class at church for the youngsters at one time. Being a parent is very time consuming and difficult. And I truly don't know if it is the parents that are the cause, but I'd say it's as good a guess as any!
    Love Di ♥

  2. Horrible, isn't it - it can't be a good thing. If they are really young, like young teens, they won't understand but when they get into their 20s it's a matter of self respect not to use words like that to each other.

  3. Preach on sister! I'm with you on the use of degrading epithets, even supposedly in fun.

  4. Maybe I'm lucky but I don't see or hear those comments being made in the company I keep, both on-line and in person. Then again I hear that women behave better when there's men around. Not saying I agree with that, but I have heard that.

    I think it's a troubling trend though. We should always treat eachother with respect, even in casual conversations.

  5. The names people call each other are not all of the whole thing, I also hate some of the adjectives that are in common use.
    I think I'm simply going to have to accept that I'm getting old. I'll continue to use the language as I see fit.
    Actually, I remember using words that the previous generation objected to.


If you have something to say about it, just stick out your thumb, and I'll slow down so you can hop aboard! But hang on, 'cause I'm movin' on down the road!!! No time to waste!!!