These are random musings of my life journey, the people, animals, places, and events which have woven, and continue to weave, a tapestry that is me. We all know there is no real destination, only the ongoing experiences which blend together, creating the trail. Each step gives a glimpse of what is to come, without allowing me to see the end result. It is exciting. I have a home base that is mine, that gives me a place to rest. This is it. This is where my heart is, no matter where I journey...................

Saturday, May 04, 2013

Life has been chaotic. This change of ownership at the agency is crazy. It has gone from "there will be almost no change in your job" to "here is your latest change (100th of the week!)." I'm exhausted. Worst of al my level of trust is at a low, because there are daily new things that are different from what the last person said. Stress is over the top, not just for me but everyone. I expect that when we all finally "get it," we will be fine, but for now .... erg.

And with elevated stress, the FMS has exploded all over my body. I'm at the level again that clothes hurt. My skin is crawling with sensitivity, and I'm really miserable. I'm planning to spend the weekend just resting, puttering with small tasks, and Monday I'm scheduled to have a Healing Touch treatment from a friend. Hopefully, it will soon level out.

I'll be back eventually, I'm sure. But for now, I have to continue to exist via short bursts on FB. The "art" of composing a post here is more than I can do for now.  Check back occasionally. Sending love till I can think again. 




14 comments:

  1. Hang in there. Soon, it will be a memory.

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    1. In my head, I know that Nan. The rest of my body is screaming "NOOOOOOOO!!!" It's just hard to get through the crises. sigh.

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  2. I'm so sorry you are going through all this stress. I understand. I have not been well either. Blogging has been very neglected. Get better! Take care. Recharge.

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    1. RET, I've talked to several friends who are having ripples in their lives. Seems there is something in the air. All said, I'm sure this will pass for us all, right? Thanks.

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  3. I was just a little surprised when you first went through the ownership change and were so optimistic, but I was hoping you would be one of the lucky ones. It does sound like they need better planning! At least you know how to take care of yourself.

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    1. You know, on one level I think I knew it couldn't be that good, but I'm an optimist. Even now, I think when it all shakes out, things will be OK. It's just the process of change that stinks. I suppose it is never "good."

      As for taking care of myself, I'm doing fairly well. But I certainly have "melt down days." Those are hard and add to my physical distress. I'm much better today after significant rest, and getting treatment will help. Thanks, I'm trying to be conscious of my personal needs.

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  4. May 4th was Star Wars Day so I will say a belated "May the force be with you."

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    1. Or "May the 4th be with you"?? LOL! Thanks, (M)ary, I need the Force!

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  5. Isn't that typical 'nothing will change' and the apple cart overturns!!! Hugs and prayers that all works out. Take care of yourself first.

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    1. I'm a believer that things work out as they are meant to be. I don't always like how it is at the time, but in hindsight I usually see that things are better. I'm betting this will be OK in the end, too.

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  6. I am sorry that you are so stressed. Take your time - we will be here when you return.

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    1. Thanks, Jenny. I appreciate that.

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  7. I just read a really interesting quote about trust. I hope I get this right:

    "You aren't really distrusting the other person. You are truly distrusting yourself and your own ability to handle whatever the other person throws at you."

    I'm still trying to take that in......

    Hugs,
    Betty

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    1. You know, I think there is a lot of truth in that. I've thought about this a lot recently (obviously), and I've come to the conclusion that my lack of trust comes, in part, from wondering about my own judgment. You know .... having trust in people who, in return, take advantage, take me for granted, or out-and-out stomp on the trust. Instead of placing it on the source of broken trust, I have a tendency to wonder what *I* did wrong.

      I'm getting better at this. I'm learning, very slowly, that some people are simply who they are, and that I am not responsible for what they do.

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If you have something to say about it, just stick out your thumb, and I'll slow down so you can hop aboard! But hang on, 'cause I'm movin' on down the road!!! No time to waste!!!