These are random musings of my life journey, the people, animals, places, and events which have woven, and continue to weave, a tapestry that is me. We all know there is no real destination, only the ongoing experiences which blend together, creating the trail. Each step gives a glimpse of what is to come, without allowing me to see the end result. It is exciting. I have a home base that is mine, that gives me a place to rest. This is it. This is where my heart is, no matter where I journey...................

Thursday, September 13, 2007

A Light Bulb In My Head

It's funny how some things come into my mind at odd times. I noticed something today. I put all of my larger Tupperware and Rubbermaid items out for the yard sale, keeping the ones that will accommodate leftovers for one or two people. Over the past few weeks, I have gone out and brought several of the larger ones back in. We have been having a pot luck just about every week, and I have needed larger containers than I planned on keeping. Today I realized that I have a social life! I really do!

OK, that probably sounds pretty strange to you, but I didn't have much social life before Glenn died. Of course, the last couple years were understandable because he was so ill. But before that it wasn't much different. He was certainly not a social butterfly. He didn't like to go places other than out to a restaurant occasionally. Over the years I had given up one friend after another because it was just to hard to balance friends on one had with a reclusive and rather grumpy husband on the other.

So, without even realizing it, I planned my life on the same terms. I didn't think consciously about it, but I guess I just prepared myself for a rather lonely life. Strange, because I used to be very socially active in many ways. My first hub and I were friends with a group that got together every week for something or other. I belonged to a sorority that was active in the community. I had friends from work as did he, that we socialized with together or separately. My house was the one that everyone wanted to come to. They all said it was always more fun when I was the hostess. I really don't know what was the difference, but I loved to entertain.

I've missed that through the years. I don't think I will ever be that actively hosting again, but I still enjoy having people around me. A lot! Whether my house or yours, I enjoy spending time with friends. For now it is just a potluck every week, but I hope it expands more as time goes on. I'd still like to go dancing if I can find a partner. I want to expand my circle of friends, although the ones I have now are very dear and special to me. I hope to have lots of avenues for the social outlet.

So-o-o-o-o-o, I'm guessing this might be part of why I've not been able to get my act together and have that yard sale. I needed to rethink what to keep. I'm doing that very seriously now, and I think tomorrow will be the day that I take another look through the "discards" to see if anything should be rescued. Next weekend looks like a dandy time for the sale, don't you think?


  1. Yea you! Good stuff eh? I'm glad you're not living the solitary life you expected.

    Interestingly enough, reading this post reminded me of things I'd buried in the back of my mind...about giving up stuff for our partners etc etc.

    I think it's very telling what we stop doing for or because of the person we're with.

  2. Traci - Yeah, I'm glad it has changed. It wasn't that I gave up things knowingly, at least not all the time, but my habits changed to keep peace. And I didn't consciously think of it, then or when I was sorting things out here. Making a partnership work is about compromise. Sometimes we forget that compromise takes *2* in the process. I'm relieved when I have these moments, because it tells me I am finding my own balance again. (happy sigh)

  3. I think that is just wonderful! My sister has a grumpy, anti-social SO and it sucks.

  4. I can't tell you how much I loved reading this post. I am so happy that you have rediscovered who you really are and doing what makes YOU happy now. I love that you have so many friends out there and are always doing things with them.

    And I really loved your response to Traci's comment.

    You know the kind of day I have had and reading this post has made me smile. Thanks for the smile!!

  5. Patti - I hope your sister wakes up sooner than I did. Life isn't fun for her r for anyone ewho cres about her, I know.

    Caroline - :) It is fun to have these *moments* of self-revelation! Isn't it weird how we put ourselves into situations and then put on blinders to make it last? I know you understand as well as I do. I'm glad you're smiling! Have s wonderful weekend!!

  6. My ex was a grumpy gus too. He never liked socializing or going anywhere with me. I tolerated it because it was just easier to keep the peace. My biggest mistake was staying for as long as I did. Things are WAY better for me now.

    I am so happy for you that you are doing the things that make you happy. Everyone deserves happiness.

  7. "I tolerated it because it was just easier to keep the peace. My biggest mistake was staying for as long as I did." My excuse, exactly.

    Freedom is good, isn't it?


If you have something to say about it, just stick out your thumb, and I'll slow down so you can hop aboard! But hang on, 'cause I'm movin' on down the road!!! No time to waste!!!