These are random musings of my life journey, the people, animals, places, and events which have woven, and continue to weave, a tapestry that is me. We all know there is no real destination, only the ongoing experiences which blend together, creating the trail. Each step gives a glimpse of what is to come, without allowing me to see the end result. It is exciting. I have a home base that is mine, that gives me a place to rest. This is it. This is where my heart is, no matter where I journey...................

Monday, March 31, 2008

Thoughts on Aging

I spent today writing a "report" for Da Boss. He is planning to attend an event of gigantic proportions, and he wants an outline of the top issues about the proposed mine (remember the dreaded open-pit mine that we hope to keep from coming into our valley?). So I was taking all the reams of information, minimizing it, and compiling a brief report with the most important points.

I'm fairly good at that, but it is hard work. After a while I start getting cross-eyed over the printed lines and the computer screen. I finally got it down to three pages. I wanted to go to just one page, but some others thought that was too short and would omit important details. My experience is that when you are presenting such a paper to any one who is busy, the shorter, the better! When I was working as a Social Worker and submitting reports to the court, judges liked my reports because I had a "cover" page with a paragraph that stated the purpose of the report followed by a bulleted list of points and a summary paragraph with the recommendation/assessment. I usually had a several-page report that followed with details in case the judge wanted more detail, but I got everything of significance into the first page, or occasionally a page and a half. That is what I wanted to do on today's task but it was vetoed by others.

Tonight was a meeting of the committee. We went over my summation, which was under three pages. Everyone liked it, but it was decided that it should be shortened to ... yep, ONE page!! LOL!! I should have just gone ahead and done what my gut told me! No problem, however, because another woman volunteered to condense it down. I didn't argue!

After our meeting, we had dinner. Da Boss made a prime rib that was unfreakingbelievable!!! He can cook a chunk of meat like no one else I know, and this might have been the best ever! It was extraordinarily tender and the flavor was awesome! I just wanted to keep eating!

I had so much fun tonight. Both the meeting and the dinner went very well, and I enjoyed the company greatly. It was a slightly different group than comes to the potluck dinners (just three of us are regulars there), and it was nice to spent "down time" with people that I normally have little time to just visit with and get to know.

One of the men in the group paid me a compliment this evening. During the course of the conversation, we were talking about ages (it was the birthday of one of the group) and he said that he was a little surprised to know that I will be 64 in a few days. I thanked him, and he added that since he met me he has considered me a beautiful woman and that my skin is especially nice. Now, he was definitely not coming on. His wife was with us, and she nodded agreement with him, and the conversation simply continued on to other things about age.

I was taken aback with surprise at this conversation, but it was nice to hear. I have not had any man compliment me like that in a while. The thing is, I feel like I am still about 30 inside. But then I have those strange moments when I pass a mirror and think, "WOOPS! What happened??" Don't get me wrong ... I don't think I'm a wart on a frog. But I don't look like I remember myself looking, so it is hard to accept how I've changed. At 30, when I entered a room, few men did not look. It doesn't happen like that now. I never considered myself especially attractive, and I was always surprised when anyone said something about it.

I don't put a lot of stock in just physical looks. I guess it doesn't sound like that, but it is true. I know I have a number of qualities that are very good. I'm accomplished in many ways, and I consider myself "well rounded," a person that a lot of people enjoy and find interesting, both male and female. However, when things change as much as this, it is impossible to ignore it. I'm single again, and while I'm not actively looking for a man, I wouldn't mind having someone to share special time with, someone who could be supportive in tough times and with whom I could laugh and get silly, not worrying about decorum. There aren't many available men near my age out there. So I tend to forget about the whole thing, and then I am paid a compliment and it seems so completely strange to me!

Aging is a strange set of events. It isn't bad, at least I don't consider it so, but it takes constant adjustments in attitude and thinking. Inside you are the same person, or probably even better than you were when younger, because you learn and experience and grow. But outside, you look different, and I'm learning that sometimes people treat you differently because of the signs of age. Would you turn back the clock and be 20 or 25 or 30 again? I wouldn't. I love the person I am now. Oh, yes, I'd like to be slender and have none of the lines around my eyes. I'd like to have the energy and stamina I did when I was younger. But I like ME as I am now!! I like having the knowledge I've packed into this old grey head!! I like that when I speak, I'm given credit for having the wisdom of maturity (even the times when I'm just guessing!!).

It's a mixed bag, for sure. Perhaps the creator made it happen this way so that we have an advantage in one way or another at any age. Youth has looks and energy, age has experience and wisdom.

What do you think? What is the advantage of your age? What age would you like to be? Why?


  1. I think i've learned alot of things in my 30's - good things.
    I think that no matter what I look like on the outside (oh who are we kidding here it DOES matter to me some) it's how we feel inside that is MOST important and I intend to stay about age 10 inside always.

  2. Casey and I have talked about how we don't feel as old as the number of candles on the cake :)

    I am starting to get a lot of gray in my hair. I figure when I graduate it will be a plus because people will think I am a wise, experienced lawyer instead of a punk who just graduated!

  3. Patti, oh, yes, of course, it does matter how the outside looks. I think it does to most of us. However, what is inside matters to me more. You're right about the 30's being a learning decade, and you'll find the 40's will be, too. By the 50's I started to put it all together and go, "Ah, HA! Now I get it!!!" Now, I'm enjoying the *product* of the *process*!! Life is good! Life is beautiful!!

    Dakota, I hear that! When I graduated with my master's degree I was 44. People assumed I was a seasoned, wisened social worker, and it did help to be accepted at times! :D Use it!!

  4. Very good points, Lynilu! I'm happy to be 30. I wouldn't go back to being a teenager or even a twenty-something for all the tea in China. I'm comfortable with the fact that I have loads to learn and I know it. I hope I grow into grace. That's one thing I'm looking forward to. I'm not very graceful.

    I think it's wonderful that the man complimented you like that with his wife there. It means it was truly sincere and there's something special about that.

  5. Melissa, aging isn't all bad. As I mentioned, there are benefits to just about any age, so accepting it is probably the key.

    Yes, somehow, it validates his honesty. Nice.


If you have something to say about it, just stick out your thumb, and I'll slow down so you can hop aboard! But hang on, 'cause I'm movin' on down the road!!! No time to waste!!!