These are random musings of my life journey, the people, animals, places, and events which have woven, and continue to weave, a tapestry that is me. We all know there is no real destination, only the ongoing experiences which blend together, creating the trail. Each step gives a glimpse of what is to come, without allowing me to see the end result. It is exciting. I have a home base that is mine, that gives me a place to rest. This is it. This is where my heart is, no matter where I journey...................

Thursday, January 14, 2010


Less than a week till surgery. I had to stop all medications and supplements, even my daily vitamin. I have only two prescriptions, one is a daily anti-inflammatory for mild arthritis and fibromyalgia, the other is a muscle relaxer to help me relax enough to sleep when my muscles are aching, which I just take occasionally as I need it. It won't be too bad to do without the anti-inflammatory, and I can actually take the otherr. The concern is anything that might think my blood; avoiding free bleeding is a priority, of course. But who knew that a daily vitamin or an omega supplement would be no-nos?

I guess I'm having a little stress that I'm not noticing. I've discovered I'm apparently grinding my teeth at night. The last couple days my teeth have been extremely sensitive and achy, especially the two lower front teeth. Dang, my whole mouth hurts! When I try to avoid putting my teeth together during the day, it makes my jaw ache, so it's a lose/lose situation. I bought a bite guard today to help me avoid this. I have put the guard in, just trying it out as I'm typing this, and it really helps! In a half-hour, I've quit hurting! I didn't think I'd been carrying any tension, but obviously I don't know everything!

I went into the hospital in Ruidoso to have an EKG, the last of the tests before surgery. It was perfect, of course. After that I picked up dog food and salt for the water softener. Stopped at WalMart for some last minute things, such as the bite guard. I think I'm pretty much stocked up and ready for a few weeks of laying around. I'll have to send TL for a few things like milk or eggs, but nothing serious.

In the last few weeks I've reconnected with a couple other former classmates from high school. Both are guys I barely knew back then, but as we've encountered each other somewhere online, we've begun some interesting conversations. One lives in Salt Lake City, the other in Hawaii. It is fun to find out about what people have been doing through the years, and I've been struck with the fact that I've found valued friends in people I hardly knew and conversely, people that were friends back then have grown apart through the years. Odd, isn't it?

The man in Hawaii has traveled a lot in his life, lived for a couple years in India and encountered many interesting people and ideas. He shares some spiritual paths with me, and I'm feeling a great deal of comfort talking with him. He has shared some information with me that has encouraged me to look into some DVDs to watch during convalescence, books to look into, etc. It has been really comforting, a individual journeys.

The man in Salt Lake City is a PhD/MD, involved mostly in research, and it has been enlightening to talk with him. Learning about the course of each other's life has been so interesting. Sometimes when he asks questions of me, I learn a lot about myself as I answer them, and conversely when he tells me about his life, it makes me consider more deeply about similar events in my own life. So while finding out about his life, I'm also being more introspective into my own.

I'm reminded in the finding of these two gentlemen about the treasures with which we are gifted as we travel our paths. Thank goodness we meet or re-meet people to shake our lives up a little, to give us pause to think about how things have unfolded, to realize the fortunes we possess that we don't even think of until someone asks us something new or shares their own stories for our comparison. With our every day friends, we fall into patterns and after a while, may not think out of the box much. A new acquaintance stirs the waters and brings that which has settled to the bottom up for review. What fun!

I have had conversations in the last few days with several friends my age about aging. In some ways, it just sucks, because we still feel vital and active, but we are reminded of reduced stamina and strength in many tasks. and then there is that occasional glance in the mirror that bring up a startled realization of, "Oh, when did that happen? How did I get this old?" It's usually fleeting. Most times I look in the mirror and see me, the face I'm used to, the silver hair, the wrinkles, the skin that is beginning to sag. It's no surprise, except for those once in a while moments when I think "WTF??" I dislike being less capable of taking care of things and of myself. I wish I didn't have to rely on others so much for the things I used to do without a second thought by myself. And yet .... the richness of the fabric of my life is invaluable. I wouldn't trade my life experiences for the opportunity to be young again. Nope. Life is good. In fact .....

....Life is beautiful!!!!

It's been a while since I said that, hasn't it? :)


  1. Life does cause us to pause and reflect. Aging is a bit of a bother but I would not want to be young again for one second. And to think there was a time in my life when I thought 25 was old!

  2. Oh, Linda, that last line says it all!

  3. think of the alternative of aging i would rather age then not be here Life is Beautiful even when we struggle. (Go Paxil)

  4. Well, Bobbie, you have a point there! Yeah, once the crisis is over, the experiences linger and help us grow, I think.

  5. I really hate being so old that I have all these things that I want to do, but then I cannot do them. It is so frustrating. But then Lyn, I am 10 years older than you, so you have lots of time before you are limited and maybe it won't happen to you at all. However, I do appreciate the daily pleasures that I have. I love my internet friends, my tv programming even if it is rediculously expensive, my books and my family, including my doggies! Enjoy what you have my dear and try to keep positive. Seems to me that you are doing just fine.:)

  6. Yes, Moni, that outlook is essentially what my friends and I are saying. It's not easy to accept our aging, at times, but bottom line is that none of us are checking into the "old folks home"!! My dad used to say "you're only as old as you allow yourself to act and believe." I believe that is true. Of course, there are the physical limitations, but there is usually something else that bring pleasure if we look for it. I think you've done a marvelous job of that!

  7. I'll be thinking of you throughout your surgery, wish I could be there to hold your hand. I love re-connecting with unexpected people and something else i've found - some of the people I WAS good friends with 'back in the day' - I now have ZERO in common with. Life's funny sometimes eh?
    **** see i'm not completely gloom and doom today although I am going to take a blogging break until I either get moved to another division at work, get fired or get a new job altogether. Nothing else is an option :)
    Also when you said "Vaya Con Dios" it reminded me of the singer Slim Whitman, my Grammy used to play his cassettes all the time!!!!

  8. Patti, thanks for that. It's nice to know folks are keeping me in their thoughts.

    Yeah, odd how things change. We each grow in our own direction, and sometimes that is away from people that were very important to us at another time just don't fit anymore. Remember that thing about "A Reason, A season, or a Lifetime"? That says it well.

    I understand about the blog, Patti. You just do what you need to for yourself, and come back when you are in a better place, OK?


If you have something to say about it, just stick out your thumb, and I'll slow down so you can hop aboard! But hang on, 'cause I'm movin' on down the road!!! No time to waste!!!