These are random musings of my life journey, the people, animals, places, and events which have woven, and continue to weave, a tapestry that is me. We all know there is no real destination, only the ongoing experiences which blend together, creating the trail. Each step gives a glimpse of what is to come, without allowing me to see the end result. It is exciting. I have a home base that is mine, that gives me a place to rest. This is it. This is where my heart is, no matter where I journey...................

Friday, August 26, 2011

a terrible day

A coworker died today. It was completely unexpected. Too young at 57, she had an apparent heart attack or stroke.

She was in, or seemed to be, great shape. She was slender, active in exercise (played golf Wednesday), looked 10 years younger than she was. How an that happen?

She was a fairly new employee, a nurse, a great addition to our staff roster. She always had a nice word. I liked her right away on meeting her. Our patients liked her. I think everyone liked her. As we talked through the day, several of us recalled that several times this week she mentioned not feeling well, but she brushed it off, saying it was just a little headache or something undefinable.

Upon hearing this news our usual routine was gone. Business went on through the day, but there was not a single person unaffected by this news, and the work was mechanical. Well, mechanical and sluggish, anything but normal.

I fought tears several times, only because I had things that had to get done. One of my tasks was facilitating a bereavement group. I felt incapable of leading anyone, anywhere today, but I finally made it through the day.

Sometimes there is just no plausible explanation. This is one of them.


  1. Oh no....I am so so sorry to hear about this. When someone so young and in good health suddenly dies it shocks us all.

    I heard this once in a movie.....Each death in our life should be a reminder to live each day to the fullest.

    I am sorry for you loss. I am here if you need to talk.

  2. When I read about things like that it really makes me wonder. My mother was fat, very fat, never exercised, ate a very poor diet, spent most of her adult life in heavy second hand smoke, had a terrible outlook of life, and never had a good word for anyone. She live to be 93.

    I'm sorry a good person died so young. There is no reason.

  3. Friend of mine, I am so very sorry to read this... one year younger than me...

    your strength is unmatchable ~ to lead in a time of feeling the same loss as those you are to lead...


  4. These events are so hard to deal with. Hang in there and you'll find yourselves helping each other through it.

  5. I am so terribly sorry. I can only imagine how this must have been for you. One does have to wonder what happened. When things like this are so unexpected it just stuns us.

    I hope your workplace can experience healing.

  6. It's so hard to deal with the death of someone close to you at work, especially when it happens so suddenly to a person who appears to be in good health. Makes us grateful for own lives and those of family and friends.

  7. Thank you, everyone.I'm a little better today and have low key plans for the weekend that I think will be healing. Cyber hugs to each of you for your kindness.

  8. It is difficult to process something so unexpected, almost puts us in shock. I know the feeling. It's like, well darn, I didn't even get a chance to say "goodbye"!

  9. That's terrible, I'm so sorry to hear that. Prayers to you, your coworkers and the nurse's family.

  10. All, everything yesterday was just beyond comprehension. I've thought about how happy I am that I got to meet her, to spend those limited times with her.

    Kelly, as you know, with our patients, we have time to prepare before they leave us. We are often sad to see them go, but it is something we've worked up to.
    Very difficult.

  11. I think that in many cases, there is peace when our patients pass. There has been time for acceptance, many tears, much preparation. When it is sudden, all of that is gone.

    I love your rock statues. So very cool. Just looking at them healed my stress of today. I hope they help heal your heart.

  12. I am so sorry for your loss.

  13. Kelly, you nailed it. And thanks on the rocks. Yes, I think they healed a lot today. :)

    LC, thank you. Work family becomes next to home family.

  14. How terrible for everyone, and worst of all for her family. These things seem to make no sense.

  15. Jenny, you're right about making no sense. One of those times that makes you question the so called "natural order of things."


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