Holidays

It has been a very nice, very lazy weekend. I hate to see it end, to be honest. I have done little to be productive, but I don't really care! I simply enjoyed it!

I ran across this blog post when friend linked to it on FB.

http://www.jennifermcgrail.com/2011/11/happy-holidays-and-other-four-letter-words/

I am quite impressed with how this expressed something that is an uncomfortable issue for many. I get tired of the emails and posts that seems to imply that I'm quite "right" if I say "Happy Holidays," rather than "Merry Christmas." It's as if we are deemed heathens if we say anything other than "Merry Christmas." Well, I for one, will continue to say 'Happy Holidays." I also say "Merry Christmas." It depends on many factors.  Here is a little thing I wrote and posted on FB:

Yes, it is still OK to say "Merry Christmas." I will also say "Happy Holidays"!

When I say "Happy Holidays," I'm certainly remembering Christ. But in my mind, "Holidays" includes all the seasonal Christian events, Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year are certainly observed by us all in this grouping). I'm also including my friends who celebrate other  holidays at this time of year: Hanukkah, Kwanza, Soyaluna, Winter Solstice, Las Posadas. I'll admit I don't actually know a Hopi, but I threw that in for fun! The others .... yep, I respect and honor my friends around their holidays as well as they do mine. 

So forgive me for having a different view of this. I treasure my friends of all walks, and I will continue to say "Happy Holidays!" to everyone.

So what's your take? Are you a "merry Christmas purist" or are you more ecumenical? Are you tired of people being disrespectful or are you tired of being corrected?



Here is a second, related issue: I'm weary to death of Christmas. No, I'm not being disregarding of Christianity or of Christ; I'm just worn out with the gaudy, over-commercialized, time-abusive, and greedy ways that it is celebrated. If we could get back to the quiet, reflective and homey celebration of Christmas that I remember from earlier times, I think I'd feel differently. As it stands now, I am beginning to seriously dislike this time of year.

I love Thanksgiving because it doesn't require gifts, costuming and scaring people, buying greeting cards, inundating people with candy (even if it is chocolate!), or loud noises. It is focused on family and friends, our relationships, not our pocketbooks, glitz and trying out out-gift each other and top the year before!

Christmas began on a bad note, in my opinion, when the church decided to place it at a time of year when pagan celebrations were taking place, and many pagan practices became part of the remembrance of Christ's birthday. Unfortunately, it has gotten worse over the centuries. My favorite part of Christmas has always been the Christmas Eve services at church, children's programs, singing Christmas carols, and simply being with the people I love. Well, so much for that!

Sorry, if this seems like an angry rant. I'm really not angry. I am disappointed that as a society, we have allowed ourselves to be led down this road. It is especially disheartening to me that in the current economy we are still unable to get control of our appetites and tell Big Corporate America to STOP IT!

Do you think this can change? Or are we too far into this to back away, to return to a simpler way of celebrating this holiday? Do you want it to change, or do you like it the way it is? Do you think I'm just a raging nut? Oh, wait, forget that one, cause we all know I am!  ;)

A good Thanksgiving

Yesterday was a beautiful day.


How can it not be beautiful when I had a chance to dine with these wonderful people?

Jeff & Lynne, Zoë, Britt, and Janie

In a beautiful, historical place high on a mountain with snow outside the window. (Clark Gable and Carole Lombard honeymooned there)

The buffet was outstanding.











The company was great!

Lynne and Zoë caught giggling!

Britt was sweetly pensive.

And Janie had something to say.








I didn't realize till now that I didn't get a close up of Jeff. Oops!



And the drive there and back was nice, but I didn't take photos along the way, unfortunately. I was busy talking. No surprise, huh?


I'm thankful for my whole life. Oh, yes.

About that quote in the earlier post ....

 "One day you will ask me which is more important? my life or yours? I will say mine and you will walk away not knowing that you are my life." 
  ~Khalil Gibran

Here's the thing .... I think it is hard for us, in this world, to make another person's life our own. We can, however, strive to understand others and be respectful of their lives, of what makes them who they are. I believe when we do that we open our eyes, in fact, our hearts, to making theirs as important as our own. In that way, we make the world a better place. If I make your life my own, how can I do wrong to you?

You are my life.
You are not ALL my life.
But your life is as important as my own.

I'm still in bed. I love Tuesdays because I can do this. I don't go to work until around noon because I stay late for a bereavement group, so I get to be incredibly, sinfully, gloriously lazy! Today, after waking, I fed the dogs and made coffee, then returned to the warmth under the covers and read for a couple hours. Next I putzed with email, reading blogs and Facebook, and now I'm considering actually getting up. Before I do, however, consider this ....

 "One day you will ask me which is more important? my life or yours? I will say mine and you will walk away not knowing that you are my life." 
  ~Khalil Gibran

 Read that carefully.

I wonder .... how many of us can actually say that about another person?

I'll post more on this later, but ponder this, comment if you will. I'll be back.



See these Tuesday mornings allow me to think!!

I donno ....

Betcha thought I would still be gone, didn't you? Well, let's wait and see if the comeback is long term. :)

My “vacation” has probably done me some good. I’ve thought a lot during this time. And I’ve taken a rest from thinking. I’ve talked to friends, and I’ve listened. There have been good days and not so good ones. And it has all been quite nice.

One thing that has come of this may be too complex to really deal with here, but who knows. Anyway, here goes ....

A friend recently asked me if I’ve dated since I was widowed. I said yes, a few times, but all the dates have led to my decision to have those people as friends. A lengthy conversation ensued, and the crux of it was that he asked if I am too particular. Am I? Hmmm. I don’t think so. But I’m rather too close to the situation to be totally objective.

Here is my view .... I have spent a lot of time in my life being what others wanted me to be. Or at least, what I thought they wanted. In the last 6 years, since my husband’s death, I’ve spent a lot of time with ME. As I say in my profile (right over there on the right side bar ==>) this is the first time I’ve lived alone. It has been an experience! It hasn’t always been good, trust me. But it’s been a long way from bad, too.

If nothing else, I’ve found that I really like ME. I’m not different from the person I used to be .... well, yes, of course I am, but you know what I mean .... but this is the first time in my life I’ve spent getting to know who I am. I value the person I’ve recently met. I think she deserves the good stuff of life. I’m deciding Im not willing to settle.

I’d love to find someone who I really want to be in my life. That would be wonderful. However, it would not be worth giving up the person I’ve discovered and actually LIKE in me, just to have a warm body hanging close by. I’m worth more than that. And I think I’m better company that most of the men I’ve met, even if it does mean I spend time talking to myself! So any man .... well, honestly, any person .... who is going to be in my life is going to be worthy of my self-resect.

So many of the men I meet, those who show an interest in dating, seem to be living somewhere in a world with rules that I don’t understand, and honestly, I don’t think I really want to learn those rules. Why? Because the rules seem to be those by which I lived the first (roughly) 1/10th of my life. Those were the rules that had me twisted into a pretzel, trying to please others. Don’t misunderstand, I still want to make those around me happy, but I want to be around people who go out of their way to please me, too.

I’m a little tired of men of an age appropriate for me who expect perfection from the women in their lives. Standing in line at Walmart one day, I listened to two men behind me talking about how attractive one of their wives was. The husband said that it was “too bad” that she didn’t “keep herself up” as she used to, having gained some weight. I turned around and looked, and if either of these men had seen their own toes in less than 10 years, it would surprise me! Hello?? And yet he expects his wife to still “keep herself up”?

That’s it! That’s what makes me shy away from “relationships.”

One thing I must give my late husband credit for is that he never criticized me when I gained weight. A few times he said he worried about my health because of the weight, but he never made me feel bad. That’s the nice thing about growing together through the years; the changes we go through are generally gradual and can be adjusted to a little at a time. Many couples my age have both gained weight or developed wrinkles or have sagging skin here or there, but it is OK because they’ve come to this state together.

Thinking of “dating” as I near 70 makes me cautious because, while I’ve lost a considerable amount of that excess poundage, I’m still overweight. Add to that the sagging skin from the weight loss; skin does not bounce back at an advanced age. There has to be a special attribute to any man I let into my life because I’m not perfect and anyone who stays in my life has to love me for me, in spite of it. We won’t have grown old and out of shape together, so affection must transcend all else (the physical).

I’ve met a few men who are mostly decent about it, but it is clear they just want to be “friends with benefits.” I am not so uptight that I couldn’t have a mostly physical relationship. But I crave affection, respect and tenderness more. Why would I settle for what I don’t want? In hopes that he might decide to “like me”?? Puhleeze! No, I’ll wait, but thank you for asking.

So no, I don’t date much. My friend doesn’t understand that. Of course he doesn’t. He has made comments not far different from those I heard at Walmart, about a couple women in his life. And yes, his belly is prominent, too. Now that I’ve worked this out in my head, I need to have a serious heart to heart with him.

Yep.

Where is this going?

I'm beginning to think I'm "all blogged out." 

I seem to be completely without inspiration to write here. Every time in the past week or so I have begun to write, I can't finish the first sentence. Before that, I've struggled for several weeks. I'm sad that it seems my brain has gone on vacation, because I've enjoyed my contact here, meeting new friends, and expressing myself in a myriad of ways, from thoughtful to bizarre.

It has been five and  half years since I began. I've written nearly 2200 posts, and that doesn't count the 150 or so with cartoons that I deleted because of the picture storage. That's a lot of writing! I don't understand this sudden blank slate. And it seems the more I try to figure it out, the blanker the slate seems to be. As a friend used to say, "too much analyzation leads to paralyzation."

This tends to be a difficult time of the year for me with several family deaths, and a number of special pet deaths in past Octobers and Novembers may be a factor. I dislike the commercial aspects of the Christmas season and the frenetic pace society takes on, so I tend to seclude myself. I've been incredibly busy at work and socially recently, and perhaps I'm not giving myself enough "self time." I'm feeling some cut-off from significant people, a indicator of some depression. I don't have "that special person," be it partner or friend, to lean on, to talk with. Who knows. Maybe just a funk. And again, "too much analyzation leads to paralyzation."

I don't know what all this means. I am have another inspired burst and begin writing again soon, or this may simply drift into oblivion.

Wish me luck.

Snowflakes and Bears

No snowflake ever falls in the wrong place.

A few days ago I posted that on my Facebook page. It's a Zen quote that just struck me. Gee, I wonder why?

Wellllll, the Pied Piper of Nogal has struck again ....


This handsome fellow showed up on my steps this evening.

Even with all five of my dogs standing on the other side of the gate, barking furiously at him, he stood his ground, wagging the stub of his little Australian Shepherd tail! He just wanted to be friends!

I stepped out through the gate and found him to be a wonderfully sweet dog. I tried to read his tag, but with poor lightig and his wiggling happily in my arms, it was a lost cause.

So I began the process of grabbing my kids, one at a time, getting them into the house after blocking the dog door to the deck. Then I let him onto the deck. He was still wiggling wildly, so much that his whole body was "wagging"!  I finally took off the collar to read it. Sadly, it did not have his name and owner on it, and it was expired. I took a chance and called the vet, knowing she is one who takes calls any time she is in range. It went to the voice mail, so I left the message.

I was prepared to keep on the deck overnight if I didn't hear from the vet or couldn't find his home this evening. I didn't want him out wandering; one guy his size against a pack of coyotes is no match. I fixed a bed of the couch cushion, sheltering it with a couple trunks as we are supposed to have strong winds tonight and tomorrow.

I let my kids go out to meet him one at a time. Jaz was fine, in fact bossing him around about the water and food I brought to him! He lapped only a small amount of water and took one kibble from the dish, so obviously he wasn't from far away or lost for long. That was good news, and gave me hope that I might find a neighbor to give me some leads.

After an hour of calling around, getting hints and suggestions, I finally made a call that was fruitful. Yes, he was their dog, and as soon as the man got a pair of shoes on, he would be down.

It turns out that "Bear" has been in our 'hood just a week. Seems my neighbor has a coworker with a rental place. Recently the renter moved out and left Bear behind, so my neighbor said they would like to give him a try! Bear just moved in a week ago. He and his new family are adjusting, and the only problem is about him learning where is lives and his humans learning about how far to trust him! They has let him out to potty, as they have been doing all week, and a moment later Bear was gone! They had looked for him and called him for a while, and finally decided warm up and go out in the car. That's when I called.

So Bear is back home. His "dad" said they are still working on the "communication," but they are in love with his sweet personality. Boy, do I understand! The whole time he was here he was touching noses with all my dogs but Max (I knew better than to try that one!) or leaning against my leg, looking up at me with a grin on his face! A true charmer!

As I said Jazi wasn't concerned about Bear, at all. She went right up to him and wagged back. The others did OK. Joey allowed him to be close, but was happy when I let him back in the house. Lola was about the same; I could almost hear her whining "Stranger danger!" Sam just kept walking to keep a little distance but didn't freak. I didn't let Max out; my jealous boy would not have done well.

As I said at the beginning, No snowflake ever falls in the wrong place. Bear knew where to come.