These are random musings of my life journey, the people, animals, places, and events which have woven, and continue to weave, a tapestry that is me. We all know there is no real destination, only the ongoing experiences which blend together, creating the trail. Each step gives a glimpse of what is to come, without allowing me to see the end result. It is exciting. I have a home base that is mine, that gives me a place to rest. This is it. This is where my heart is, no matter where I journey...................

Thursday, January 05, 2012

Wake up!!!

I wonder how long it will take. How many decades, centuries will we live through before we get it, all of us, the whole of humankind?

I've read a couple comments recently that just break my heart and make be want to smack some ignorant, immature face, too.

Young women .... no, girls .... commenting on FB about men who don't live up to their responsibility, men who make a good front about fatherhood but aren't what they seem.  Did I say "men"? I should probably change that to "boys."

When will we become the sort of parents/adults who make sure our children/teenagers understand the realities of what can happen (pregnancy), and the ensuing lifetime commitment (parenthood), and the reason for approaching it as a couple, not as an afterthought of pleasure, or as a game that we can switch into "off" mode at will.

Honestly. I'm just aghast at the youthful stupidity that leads to a young woman opening her legs because [fill in the excuse] and then not considering the probability of pregnancy. It is usually blown off, er, excuse me, rationalized by things like "I can raise this baby by myself," [yeah, you probably will have to] or "He'll be there for me," [OK, whatever, just like he is willing to marry you now, right?] or "It's OK, he promises to buy diapers." Holy shit.

I'm not trying to blast young men who take advantage of a situation [or give in to the hormones]; most of us do at one time or another. I'm not trying to besmirch young women who think they are old enough to "love;" again, it's pretty typical based on their development. But damn it, people, yes, you "grown up" parents who are not supervising your kids, allowing your kid's peer pressure to circumvent your parenting responsibilities, not giving your kids the necessary education and guidance so they can make good decisions based on the lifetime commitment of having babies!

Babies are not toys!

A 17 year old, an 18 year old, hell's bells, many 22 year olds, are not prepared for parenthood, let along doing it solo. We pretend that children are growing up faster than we did. Bull shit. Plain and simple, they may put on makeup and sexy clothing, and they may talk a good story, but childhood development is still pretty much on the same track as it always was .... no one, NO ONE is ready to parent at ages under, oh, I don't know, maybe 25? Me included .... pregnant at 19, mother at 20 .... but I at least had a husband who joined me in the process and stuck around. I was entirely too flippin' young. But I had a guy who stuck around, who supported me and cared for me as his children's mother. We later divorced, probably because we were too immature to work out the rough patches. Hellooooooo!

OK, venting over. Resume happiness!


  1. Ditto the last comment. My wife and I wonder whether young girls are so starved for attention, drama, whatever that they deliberately allow themselves to be manipulated into bad situations. It's like they want to be the star of the next reality television series. And I know plenty of grown men who don't face up to their responsibilities too. Too many.

  2. Ah well this one hits right close to home. My 17 year old is "In Love". And while one minute she can appear very mature, the next minute she is acting like a temperamental five year old!!
    We've had "The Talk" many times, hell I've had "The Talk" with her boyfriend. No it's not comfortable but it has to be done.
    With that being said I told them both, I don't want to take care of any ones baby again in my life. (Go ahead, call me selfish!).
    I think a lot of parents are just afraid to talk to their kids. As for me, I talked over and over about it with all of my kids. It is my responsibility!
    Love Di ♥

  3. I followed my mother's example and bombarded my 2 boys with oft-repeated admonitions about responsible, "right" behaviour. That was accompanied by daily private prayer for them and the girls God had chosen for their mates AND the girls' families. I started that in their infancy and continue til this day although prayer has changed to thanksgiving for my daughters-in-law and grandchildren and petitions for the couples' growth in their relationship and parenting.

  4. Have you watched 16 & Pregnant or Teen Mom??? It's really scary watching these young kids try to raise kids.

    Oh and I am 38 and I am not ready for a child!!

  5. I too was a mother at 20 with a husband, he was absolutely no help at all other than to support us. I now see my daughter who had her first at 32 and has a husband who is a super dad! They do so much better than I did.

    I was to young!

  6. Teri, :)

    Dave, that is often part of the problem, kids needing something "stable" in their lives. They also need good role models; IMO, parents have become less and less "parents" and more and more "friends."

    Di, KEEP TALKING!! That is exactly what kids need. It doesn't stop all the problems, but the kids who get the eye-rolling lectures have far better possibilities.

    LC, your mom, you and Di are doing it right. Kids need to hear clearly and repeatedly what is expected.

    Caroline, I haven't watched it. I've heard people justify that program by saying what a good lesson it is for teens. I firmly disagree, because we can all excuse away much of what is on TV because it is there for e.n.t.e.r.t.a.i.n.m.e.n.t!! I've heard things said similar to "I wouldn't have done it that way, I know better." Yeah, well ..... You're right, it is a huge responsibility which none of us get right; we do tend to do better when we delay parenthood and get information to prepare us for parenthood. I think you'd be a good mom. :)

    Merikay, I think we ALL were too young!

  7. I always told my boys that they better think long and hard when they think they want to have sex with some girl because they could be spending the rest of their life with her, not as her husband necessarily but as the parent of the child they could possibly create together. My youngest son had a a friend who fathered a child while in high school. I usually just said the kids name to my son as he headed out the door. It was a good reminder. So far so good and I only have one grandchild (my married daughter's) and sincerely hope the boys wait until they are old enough and mature enough to take care of a family! I totally agree, the parents have to at least voice their opinion instead of saying, I can't talk because I was stupid too. That's really no excuse. Listening to some parents make excuses for their kids makes me so angry!

  8. Deb, you made another good point that I often do .... being tied for life. When a couple splits up but has a child, they are never separated completely.

    Your comment brings up another issue .... saying what you did/do to your boys works better for boys than girls, because girls romanticize it. Girls rarely believe he won't stand by her, or passes it off with "but at least I'll have a baby to love me." The trouble is, reality sucks!

    Thanks for adding a good point.


If you have something to say about it, just stick out your thumb, and I'll slow down so you can hop aboard! But hang on, 'cause I'm movin' on down the road!!! No time to waste!!!