These are random musings of my life journey, the people, animals, places, and events which have woven, and continue to weave, a tapestry that is me. We all know there is no real destination, only the ongoing experiences which blend together, creating the trail. Each step gives a glimpse of what is to come, without allowing me to see the end result. It is exciting. I have a home base that is mine, that gives me a place to rest. This is it. This is where my heart is, no matter where I journey...................

Friday, February 15, 2008

E.N.O.U.G.H

I'm not in a good mood.

I woke, as usual. I brushed my teeth, fixed a cup of tea, and crawled back into bed to check out the weather on the laptop. We are expecting a winter storm, and I wanted to check the weather forecast, in case there had been some significant changes. I turned it on and settled in while it loaded up. A sip of tea, and I opened my email to first check that.

Well.

Let me enter a disclaimer here. If you are Conservative, Republican you may not want to read on from here. I hope you do, because I want to hear what you say, but you need to know I'm preparing a serious rant, I'm pissed, and I don't much care at this moment who I offend. I am, however, asking for feedback. I hope you'll read on and give me an honest response, because I'm really don't understand this.


OK, now here is what happened.

I opened the first email and just lost it. But before I go into the content of the email that upset me, let me ask my questions so you can be "chewing on them" and understand my angst.

1. Why do Conservative/Republicans feel it is OK to send anything, everything that is negative, insulting, opinionated, preachy as a broadcast to their whole mailing list? I don't get that from my Liberal Democrat friends and family. Well, one friend, but while his emails may be scathing, they are back in fact and usually referenced as to where you can follow up to verify his information. What I get from C/R is venomous, emotion-based, and lacking of facts to back the issue. Why? It is nasty, childish and is divisive to the American population!! (Example to follow shortly)

2. Why is it that people, every day people, not the big spam-generators, seem to feel that it is OK to send/forward trash that they wouldn't put a stamp on and put through the snail mail system? Is it because they wouldn't spend 41¢ on a stamp? Is it because it is easy to hit "forward" on the computer, but not worth the time it would take to send it any other way? Would they call me and read it to me over the phone or does that take too much of their valuable time and (in some cases) cost them too much for the call? Is it because the Internet makes it easy to be impersonal? BTW, I just went back through my old, deleted emails (boy, do I need to "empty the trash"!!), and all those are from the same people and every person has, at one time or another sent me something in these categories: anti-Democrat; anti-immigration; anti-gay; pro-Christianity (often with quotes like "Do unto others..." and "Love your brother...."!!!!!!!); filled with bigotry of every kind; and my mind right now is about to explode with "WTF" thoughts!!!!

I invite feedback from anyone on this. I request that you keep it clean. But be honest and open. I want to know .... WHY??? Do you forward political/racial/religious/sexual orientation charged emails? If so, why? Help me understand how that helps any cause.

Let me say that I do get mailings from my D/L friends and family that would probably be considered anti-Republican, etc., but those have been of a completely different composition. They are not hateful in nature. They offer websites, books, other references to check out. The are in the nature of fact giving and charge the reader/viewer to consider and be concerned, etc. I have forwarded some of these, but only when the history is verifiable and the information is based in fact. I don't send things like I got this morning.

Now, here is the content of the email that enraged me at first light today:


Teachers' nightmare

Hello,

My name be Ebonies Li Herenandez, an AfricanHispanicAsiatic-American girl who just got an award For being the best speler in class. I got 67% on the speling test and 30 points for being black, 5 points for not bringing drugs into class, 5 points for not bringing guns into class, and 5 points for not getting Pregnut during the cemester.

It be hard to beat a score of 120%. The white dude who sit next to me is McGee from the Bronx He got A 94% on the test but no extra points on a ccount of he hav e the same Skin color as the opressirs of 150 years ago.

Granny ax me to thank all Dimocrafts and Liberals for suporting Afermative action. You be showing da way to true equality.

I be gittin in medical skool nex an mabe I be yo doctor when Hillory take over da healtcare in dis cuntry

Does this person see this as a joke? It's not funny. At least not in my world.

Thus far, I've replied to the offensive emails, asking that I not receive more of same. Most of the time, I don't get a reply, but the garbage stops. However, it is not unusual to later receive something of a similar ilk. I don't know if these people are simply so insensitive that they don't understand that if I say, don't send me more anti-immigration material, it doesn't mean that it's OK to send something about not singing the National Anthem in Spanish. Or do they not care? Or do they mean to irritate me? Is it so important to be right that being considerate goes out the window?

Well, folks, I'm preparing to sending this out to my entire mailing list.

Dear family and friends,

I love getting email! I enjoy getting emails about family news, as well as humor, verified news and information, safety tips, signs of heart attack, etc. I like the fast turn-around we have with email. It makes planning reunions or other get-togethers and passing on life events and news so much easier than snail mail or phones. I hope to always have this convenience at our finger tips. Or something even better! I am writing with a request regarding email.

Because I am often faced with emails that I find offensive I am making the following request. Please take me off any mailings negatively regarding immigration, homosexuality, or bigotry in general. I find most of them lacking in validity and skewed with personal ideas not based in any rationale that I can understand or accept. I have a “live and let live” policy. I also have friends and family members who would fit into these rather ugly categories, if it were important to me to consider those characteristics. But I don’t consider that. I choose to have them in my life because of how they relate to me and generally to the rest of the world.
I’m not asking you to change your opinions, ideals, or values. I’m simply stating that I prefer to not receive these types of mail as I see them as an attempt to change mine. I consider them judgmental, at best, or hate mail, and I do not wish to receive them. I choose to not judge, lest I be judged.

I have tried to carefully consider the people to whom I email anything. I have tried to be aware of the general values of each person before I email something that I know might be unattractive to them. I may have erred, and if I have offended you with a raw joke or something in the past, please accept my sincere apology. If I should offend you after this, let me know so that I won’t do so again. This is exactly why I write this ... to let everyone know my preferences, since I have apparently not expressed them well enough.

I will admit I am intolerant of intolerance. I don’t like everyone, either, but I don’t choose who is in my life by those guidelines. I embrace people, including you, simply because I love them, and because they are good to me, complete my life in one way or another. When I receive such emails, I’m not swayed in favor of them; rather I’m angered toward attitudes that perpetrate and perpetuate such things.

I do not wish to be at odds with anyone to whom I mail this. And if you’ve not mailed such to me, thank you. I am simply informing people I care about and wish to have continued contact with of my preferences. I want to continue to hear about the ongoing life events and topics mentioned above. But please do me the honor of omitting me from those emails which are unpleasant. If this brings an end to friendly emails, that will be sad, but sad would be better than angry.


Enough is enough.

I'm tired of being told there is only one way to do things ... vote, live my life, love, forgive, accept, worship, even think. I am normally a very peaceful and peace-loving person. but ...

Enough is enough.

I believe in live and let live, so if your ways are different than mine, that is OK. As long as you respect my beliefs, morals, ethics, and way of life, and I do likewise toward you, there is no problem. My life center is being challenged by those who feel it is OK to intrude, uninvited, and push any of their ways into my face. I'm fairly quiet about my spiritual path. I believe deeply and sincerely in peace, both internal and external. And that is being pressed by this situation, by the people who thrust their opinions into my face via the ease of the Internet.


Bottom line .....
If you wouldn't print it, put it in an envelope, stamp it and mail it to me, don't email it to me. If you wouldn't pick up the phone and read it to me over the phone, don't email it to me.

20 comments:

  1. Do you KNOW the person who sent that? I've seen some political/religious-right stuff that's offended me but I have to say I think that one is the worst I've seen. I've only ever known one person who was that racist/right wing/hateful in my life, and he was a Baptist pastor of a church. He found racist jokes HILARIOUS and had an endless supply of them. I was very young when I knew him so I formed a number of opinions at that time regarding religion vs. ethical behavior. In my opinion, the more you have of one, the less you'll be able to have of the other. I've personally never met a single person who was an exception to this.

    Definitely send that email out, enough is indeed enough!!

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  2. I agree with you Lynilu I get crap like that from people (usually member of my family i'm ashamed to say) and i've asked them not to send it again so now I just delete with out reading when I glance and get the gist of what it is. Maybe i'll delete something "important" sometime but I seriously doubt it. It irks me too. A Lot.

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  3. I agree that I don't like the emotion based political crud that some people thrive on forwarding. I did have to laugh, because most of the emotion based forwards I get are from my liberal friends, and as you know, I'm mostly conservative. I don't care for over-the-top stuff leaning either way.
    Just so you know, when you send out your email to stop the crud (and I agree with you) some will take offense who shouldn't, because they aren't the guilty ones, and you will never hear from them again, and the guilty ones will miss the point. I did something similar to stop the crud, and sadly, haven't heard from some dearly loved relatives since. They weren't even the guilty ones.
    I had one friend who couldn't take the hints, and the crud he was sending was so offensive that I finally had to block his emails completely.
    I get tired of the forwards in general, but I decided that they show that the person is thinking of me (as long as the forwards aren't usually total junk)
    By the way, most email programs will allow anyone to filter out and delete any message that has Fw: in the subject line.
    Love ya Auntie! -s3-

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  4. I forgot to say in my last post that I do enjoy humor that is politically charged, as long as it is truly funny. I get the same laughs out of emails directed at conservatives as I do liberals. However, I detest any bigoted emails.
    I believe that one of our best gifts is to be able to laugh at ourselves, and even to use humor to get a point across, or to difuse a situation. However, I cannot condone laughing at others because of something they can't help.
    Actually, you said it best!
    -s3-

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  5. Amen Sister!!!!!! I feel EXACTLY the same way and, in fact, was just ranting to Gary yesterday about it. This is one of my BIGGEST pet peeves.
    I think that I have finally "broken" some people of this, because I'm getting fewer of them.You'd think they'd know me enough to know that sort of stuff offends me!
    But I still get these ridiculous emails about politicians that are so obviously filled with rumor and lies...you wonder why someone wouldn't stop for a few moments and at least do some background on it before they send it.
    I think your letter back to them is perfect. I hope it goes well.

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  6. That is NOT funny...I agree...thanks for posting about this...I am so sick of the anti-Obama spam email that is full of lies...I posted about that a while back...

    ugh...

    I have a new feature I am starting over at the nest, please come check it out!

    Bradley
    The Egel Nest

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  7. Great post, Lynilu. I find the email you received incredibly offensive and I consider myself conservative (mostly). But I don't tolerate intolerance, either.

    I love your email and may just have to borrow it for myself!

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  8. WOW-what a fantastic email-though I am sorry it started your day off as it did.

    I get emails from my MOTHER that annoy the crap out of me. I try and explain that I do not feel the same way they do about the things they send me-but they keep doing it.

    Email is great, but it has also opened us up to a whole new world of challenges and situations. I like your response email and think you should send it to the editor of a local paper or something so others get the hint!!

    Hope you are in better spirits-not that you have to be, but you know. Also, thanks for your email--I truly appreciated it and will respond this weekend.

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  9. ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!!! I have a friend who sends me all kinds of crap. He is a conservative Republican and a Bible thumper. The political stuff he sends to me is very insulting to me. I don't think he even knows how insulting it is. I delete that crap. I believe he even sent me the same Email you posted. He also sends all kinds of religious stuff. What I can't stand is intolerance and people who wouldn't even entertain the thought of looking at things any other way but their way. If self proclaimed religious people were SO religious, wouldn't you think they would be the most tolerant?? It seems to me most people who feel they are religious, are the most hypocritical and intolerant.

    If I have ever sent you anything that you felt was unacceptable, I apologize.

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  10. Ok, my lady...all I have to say is...I couldn't have said it better. I TOTALLY appreciate and respect your stance on this. So in other words, I totally agree. I wish I had the wherewithall to have come up with the eloquent way you worded your request. Again, VERY well said.

    Being a black woman, I tend to receive such emails myself. Simply because "familiar" people think that I may get a kick out of it. Well that's MILES from the truth. Emails like the one you received, rather it be from a person or color or not (which we ALL are, by the way), are extremely offensive.

    What's so sad is, is't 2008 and people are still acting so ignorant with regards to the "live and let live" line of thinking. Like you, I may not agree with what someone does, how they live and the like. But who am I to judge. As long as you're not attempting to force me to think/live the way you do...we have no problems and no issues.

    I thank you, Lynilu, for setting the record straight, so to speak.

    Well done!

    Now...go forth and have a GROOVY weekend, my friend :-D. Love ya!

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  11. Oh, one more thing. I for one, HATE when I say or spell something incorrectly. So please excuse all of the typos I made in my previous comment :-).

    Secondly, if I've EVER sent you anything that was off color or offensive, PLEASE forgive me. I normally just delete stuff like that. But I've been known to make a mistake every now and again. So again, I apologize.

    Love ya, again!!!

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  12. You have every right to be outraged by that kind of crap!

    I think you must get in the USA more than here, people seem more politically emotive [if that's the right word]. Here there are people who are passionate about politics, but most people will only concern issues which affect them directly.

    E-mail is a definitely an area of the internet that ought to have better control. Spam and such are a big issue, if that was your problem I would suggest you change providers [gmail has the best free spam filtering service]. But since it is mail coming from your friends, it is much harder to deal with and you're on the right track with this email.

    I could write lots on this, I used to use email quite extensively, but have now restricted it to correspondence with a few friends and various notifications and school mail. I think once you let people know the mail is not welcome, you can start deleting it without opening and moving on.

    Most people I communicate with have moved to different forms of contact, such as social networking sites, IM and mobile phone. I agree that people will be prepared to send crap they won't pay 40c for.

    There are various suggested methods for moderating email, and a cover charge definitely is one. At least those junk mail you get in the mailbox has to pay it, so should anyone else.
    That way, if people send you crap you're not willing to read, at least they are not getting that money back.

    [I could continue, but oops there's a post in itself already]

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  13. Everyone, there is a lot in your comments to respond to, but more than I can handle, so please forgive me while I simply thank you all for what you say here.

    This is indeed, a problem for me. I'm guessing that I haven't made it clear enough to some people that I have made certain decisions, politically, ethically and spiritually. But, you see, I don't believe I should have to make those declarations!! Accept me as I am!! If you like me before you know my politics or other personal beliefs, does that stuff matter???? I'm not trying to change anyone; please don't push your views on me. (That "your" is not any of you here)

    I suppose we all expect our friends and family members to have similar views to our own. But when I learn that someone differs, I don't send to them/say to them things that I know might be controversial!! Perhaps I need to be more clear with others about where I stand. ???

    S3, I know I could potentially cause rifts with some people who are very dear to me, however, if they continue to insult my beliefs or other people I love, is it a relationship I want to continue? Tough decision to make.

    I can enjoy the humor if it is actually funny and not personal and venomous. Of late, there has been little of that. Most of the "humor" has been just simply vicious.

    As far as the innocents caught in the crossfire ... I see two comments here apologizing "just in case." No, Dawn and Daisy, neither of you have ever offended me in the least.

    As far as the filters, email providers and such ... I know there are things I can do. However, a lot of the forwarded emails are OK. And I guess the point that I want to make here is that email is being used in ways that other communication simply is not. Why do some people seem to think that email in an open invitation to anything they send? Reminder ... I just can't see the person who sent this actually printing it out, putting it in envelopes and stamping it, then sending it to everyone he/she knows!!

    OK, my rant is over. I went away all day on business, now I've ranted just a little more and I'm done. Tomorrow I promise a happier post. Not sure what it will be, but It will be of a better nature!!

    Again, thank you all, and my love to you.

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  14. oh, i started a family feud of sorts right before christmas when i asked people not to send me crap like this. some on my biological dad's side are ignorant, and just assumed that i was ignorant like they were.
    my e-mail said a couple of things to the effect that i was an educated thinker and had no intention of joining the republican mentality. and then there was also something about being left of liberal. this all came after i replied, quite thoughtfully, to a couple of the racist crap e-mails they sent prior. i copied and responded to the stupidity of the content, but it obviously was too advanced for their simple sheep-like thinking.
    after the big brew-ha-ha, the e-mails stopped. and christmas was a little tense.
    the e-mail you posted was pittiful. and the person who sent it to you obviously isn't on your level. i would seriously think about whether you need to have this person in your life. if you can get by without them, if they offer you nothing positive, then send them out to pasteur (pun intended - they're sheeple). the truth is, people who send things out like this are very stupid because they no not of what they speak. they are only propogating a stereotype they have heard third-person. stupid is as stupid does. and desperate people do desperate things. people who live their lives in fear, or who believe they are entitled more than the guy next to them are scary folk. and all too often, they hide behind religion to do it. hypocrites. send that stuff my way, and let me have some fun with it.

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  15. I can't believe that people you KNOW are actually sending you this crap.

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  16. I, personally, am glad I don't 'get it' because I don't want to be able to relate to people like this on any level.

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  17. AMEN

    I hate getting emails like that. I might "borrow" your response.

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  18. I don't always get to read my favorite blogs in peace. My kids are reading over my shoulder, or asking for a sandwich, or... know know how kids are... anyway, I read this post over the weekend, and I wanted SO BADLY to respond immediately but these guys just weren't gonna let it happen... Long story short, BEAUTIFUL POST. I'm so proud of you, Lyn. You said what I've wanted to say for so long, but you did it with kindness and eloquence. So BRAVO.

    P.S. I haven't posted about it yet, but your name was pulled out of the hat for the Pay It Forward thingy. I'll let you know when your "prize" is getting sent. Wait a minute! I guess I need your mailing address first.

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  19. Alright, everyone. Again, just a note to say I'm not replying to every comment here because of time, actually. Be sure to skip ahead and read a second chapter of this posted on 2/17/08. There is hope.

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If you have something to say about it, just stick out your thumb, and I'll slow down so you can hop aboard! But hang on, 'cause I'm movin' on down the road!!! No time to waste!!!