These are random musings of my life journey, the people, animals, places, and events which have woven, and continue to weave, a tapestry that is me. We all know there is no real destination, only the ongoing experiences which blend together, creating the trail. Each step gives a glimpse of what is to come, without allowing me to see the end result. It is exciting. I have a home base that is mine, that gives me a place to rest. This is it. This is where my heart is, no matter where I journey...................

Saturday, December 05, 2009

Just going through a rough patch

OK, a couple people have noticed and asked, so I'll just make a small note of it. Seems that some of you have noticed I'm not quite my usual self. No, I'm not. I'm dealing with some "stuff." I'm not ready to put it all out there just yet, but I'll try to ease the concerns.

I'm facing a physical challenge and will have surgery in the next couple months. Not anything really serious, but surgery is never something to pooh-pooh. I don't know everything I need to know as yet, to make decisions and put things in order in my head so I can manage it all. I have several medical appointments in the next month, and then I will hopefully know more about what to expect. Till then, I'm just having anticipatory anxiety, and there is no way around that.

And that .... the anxiety .... is what is ruling me right now. I don't, never have, dealt well with the unknown. Most people don't. Gimme sumptin' real, and I'll manage. I think as soon as I have a better handle on what, where, when, how, I can probably resume being myself. I'm actually working on hanging onto every bit of happiness and positive attitude I can, and I will get through this. I've survived much worse! Outside this matter, my life is really very good. I'm happy, just nervous.

Oh, yeah, and it sucks being alone at this particular time. That, also, just is what it is. I've been through other big things alone, and this, too, shall pass! Send me kind thoughts and prayers, if you can spare them.

Thanks for noticing. Thanks for caring.

18 comments:

  1. Dealing with the unknown is rarely a fun experience. I'm like that too, once I know what I'm dealing with I can make a plan, make choices, etc. Whatever it is you're dealing with, I'm sending good thoughts your way. I don't really think of you as alone as you seem to have many good friends there you could probably reach out to for help and maybe you could have a family member come be with you too. People will usually step up when they know they are needed. Hang in there! Life will be beautiful again!

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  2. You will never be alone. If you called me and said you needed me there, Sophie and I would be on the road within minutes.

    I love you!!!

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  3. Deb, life is still good, and I know that. It's just a slippery patch I'm on temporarily. And I know, too, I'm not really alone, but believe me, being at this juncture without that "special someone" who is here, physically, to lean on, to hold and be held, to see facial expressions, it just isn't the same. I'll be glad to get this over with! I'm very blessed with many, many dear friends and family members, and I'm so thankful for that! Thank you so much. :)

    Caroline, I know. And I know you know what I mean, too. I love you, too, my very sweet friend. :)

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  4. The unknown is ALWAYS the worst! I'm sorry you're in a bit of a valley right now and my prayer is that you will have peace and answers and succesful surgery and fast healing.

    Gosh. Even when you're on the down side you're still so up!

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  5. Thanks, Jenster. I know you know about it.

    The thing is .... keeping as focused as possible on the good things, staying generally happy, is the thing most likely to get me through this with as little pain as possible. Self-preservation, my dear. Plain and simple!

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  6. You always have kind thoughts and prayers from me. Sorry you are having a rough patch, just breathe through it and remain your positive and optomistic self.

    hugs,
    Kim

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  7. Thank you, Kim. I'm trying! I'm actually doing well most of the time. The little nosedives are usually short lived, and I'm back. I so much appreciate you keeping me on your list. :)

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  8. Keep the spirits high my friend.... I know exactly what you're feeling because I too have been there (as have many others). We are behind you all the way. Outlook and optimism are the key words. You are strong and optimistic and will get through this.

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  9. I don't deal well with the unknown either. You'll be in my thoughts and prayers, my friend.

    HUGS!!!

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  10. Ruth, I'm really trying. Most of the time I do well, but not always. Not surprisingly, I'm noticing the stages of grief, and this morning, I woke up angry. I'm betting that in an hour or so, I'll be back to a good frame of mind. I appreciate that there are those who have been through something similar. Thanks, my friend. I know you know.

    Thank you so much, Daisy. I'm make it, I know I will, but this stretch just sucks. I am glad I have you on my side. And Bill, too. Give him a hug from me for being your hero.

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  11. Sending you the very best wishes, positive thoughts and a BIG hug!
    Peggy

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  12. I am sorry to hear this.good luck ! And sorry. For the crappy punctuation I am commenting frm my cell ph and uh...not so easy to type on teeny tiny keybrd...my thoughts r with u! *mary frm Ox/fmrly aas if you care

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  13. Thanks, Peggy, it is appreciated very much.

    And Mary, you, too. I'm glad to have the thoughts with me.

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  14. Of course you are anxious, Lyn and scared too. The unknown is always scary for us. I have had so many heart problems followed by a bypass, four different stents, coding four times after simple procedures, etc.etc., Now nothing can be done for me except the ton of meds that I take and I am so grateful that I don't have to look forward to more "procedures". Be grateful that you can be helped, try to think about the positive side to things and if that doesn't work, go stay with family or friends until your surgery is over. I believe that you can handle this just fine, but you know, worry comes whenever it feels like it. We are all here for you.

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  15. Moni, I'm doing alright most of the time. There are moments, but they pass fairly quickly. When those bad times hit, they really sneak up on me but they disappear as quickly as they come. I'll be OK, and as I learn about more with each step, I think it will get better. Thanks for your words. It helps. :)

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  16. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Big Hugs my sweet friend!

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  17. Thank you, Patti. I appreciate it soooo much.

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  18. I'm trying to catch up on all my reading. I hope your health concern get well. Surgery is not fun. You'll be in my prayers.

    All the phone calls would have been fun.

    Love the snow.

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If you have something to say about it, just stick out your thumb, and I'll slow down so you can hop aboard! But hang on, 'cause I'm movin' on down the road!!! No time to waste!!!