Happy New Year

When I started to pull down the shades earlier, I found ice crystals where the snow lodged on the outside of the storm window. So pretty!

 And a little later I noticed the little solar lights along the driveway were coming on and they looked so pretty against the snow.

May there always be little lights in your life.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

Bird feeders

I filled the bird feeders earlier today to take care of my wild bird friends during the blizzard. Then I filled them a second time!

The pictures are fuzzy because I took them through my dirty window. The birds wouldn't let me come outside!

 

Look how fat they look! I suspect it is mostly because they are puffed up to protect themselves, but it's cute, anyway!

The squiggly lines in the background are snow falling.

 I'm guessing they like the fare at this cafeteria!

It's good to share!

A great blog

Someone recently posted this link on a blog or Facebook. I don't remember which, or who. That doesn't matter.

If you remember the 1940s or 1940s, you will particularly enjoy looking at the pictures. If you're younger, well, there is still a good chance that you will still like seeing the history here.

Here is what the header says about it:

Vivian Maier - Her Discovered Work

This was created in dedication to the photographer Vivian Maier, a street photographer from the 1950s - 1990s. Vivian's work was discovered at an auction here in Chicago where she resided most of her life. Her discovered work includes over 100,000 mostly medium format negatives, thousands of prints, and a ton of undeveloped rolls of film. I have approximately 90-95% of the work.

Enjoy!

Blizzard

I've been under a blizzard warning since yesterday afternoon, and it remains in effect till midnight tonight. The winds have been a.w.f.u.l (more on those winds in a bit). It looks like I got just an inch or two of snow, but the drifting seems too much for that small amount of snow, so I suspect the wind blew some of it away. So far this morning the wind is not terribly high, but it is picking up. And snow is falling, although not very hard at this time.

Last night, the wind was amazing. The dogs dealt with it pretty well, although sometimes when the gusts hit the house, we all jumped and looked around. Even Jazmyn, my scaredy-cat of a dog, did OK. She wasn't liking it, but she just stayed close to me and dozed most of the evening, and she wasn't quivering, as she usually does when she is scared. Several times the impact of the gusts caused the house to "shiver," something I've not experienced before. Interesting!

I closed the doggy door on the back of the house. The wind was so ferocious that the door was flapping crazily, slapping and snapping, and I began to think it might rip the plastic door apart. I think it was a good move, as there were signs of minor disturbance elsewhere this morning. Through the evening, we heard thumps and bumps, and I was wondering what was blowing around in the yard. I couldn't think of anything to be highly concerned about, so I didn't worry. I had taken down my wind chimes and bird feeders so they wouldn't be damaged, and the few things I could think of that might be blowing around were not important.

Over night the winds calmed down, at least to the point of being non-threatening, and we slept well. When I woke this morning, I got a cup of coffee and crawled back into bed. I knew I wasn't going anywhere today, so no need to rush into anything. I worked several sudokos and watched a touch of morning news, then switched to a sitcom rerun, because that is more palatable than the news. And we just lolled in bed till about 8:30. Felt good, cuddling with my pups, having hot coffee and relaxing.

When I got up I opened the dog door and began doing some morning routine. Probably 30 minutes after rising, I had just turned on the laptop and was about to read and post for a while, when Joey's barking on the front deck began to get on my nerves. I hollered at him "no bark," to which he usually responds right away. But within a few seconds, he was at it again. I hollered again, and it was followed by a few seconds of quiet, then off he went again. I decided I needed to check what he was barking about. There are some dogs that roam around here, and I try to shoo them off so my kids are not agitated by their presence on our property.

As I walked to the door I noted that Joey was running up and down the deck barking at something that was obviously moving in the driveway. I figured I was right about another dog being out there, and when I got to the rail, I saw I was right. The problem is .... it was one of MY DOGS!!  MAX! My eloping, gallivanting little nomad was out of the enclosures!

I quickly checked the gates on the deck and both were closed and latched, and happily, Max came right in when I called him. Whew!! But the relief was short lived, as I realized that he must have gotten out the back gate. Had someone opened my back yard gate AGAIN??? So I tripped out the back door quickly, blocking The Kids in the house. When I looked toward the gate, I expected to see it standing open. But it wasn't. No, it was laying on the ground!!

Apparently, the winds last night lifted the chain link gate off the hinges! What is strange is that it wasn't fully on the ground, because the bungee cord I had around the latch side to be sure the dogs wouldn't bounce on it and rattle it loose, was still attached! Can you imagine? The wind picked up the gate far enough to take it off the hinges, but couldn't undo the bungee cord! Amazing!

I got the gate back on the hinges and everything secured again. I'm wondering if I should put a bungee on the hinge side to keep it from lifting. I'll make a decision in the next while. BUT .... that is not the end of the story!

I came back in the house, and I decided I'd feed the pups. I looked around and noticed I had only four of them! Lawdy mercy, Sam was missing! A quick look into the back yard, then checked out the deck, but he wasn't either place. Fortunately, he is one that will usually come immediately when I call, so I went to the deck, called and whistled, and here he came around the corner of the house. He might have been in the woods, but I suspect he was looking for a way back inside the fence out back. Sam doesn't like to be away from me when we are outside the usual confines of the yard and house. I'm surprised he didn't come in when Max did. I'm not sure why he wasn't with Max earlier, but I'm relieved that he stayed close!

There are a few other things that have been blown around. A big plastic pot, 3-4 gallon size, blew from the front yard to the back. That means it was moved up hill a height of about 20 feet, and around two corners of the house, past the air conditioner! A few things on the deck were moved, too, but no damage that I can see.

Here's the rub .... remember I said the warning remains in effect till midnight? Well, I checked the forecast and the warning update a bit ago, and it has changed from last night. Last night it said that snow accumulation at my altitude (I'm right on the dividing line between two levels, so I never know if I'll get the greater or lesser amount) was between 2-8 inches. Well, it has changed. Here is the current one:

* SNOW ACCUMULATIONS... TOTAL ACCUMULATIONS 6 TO 12 INCHES ARE LIKELY BELOW 7500 FEET WITH 12 TO 18 INCHES IN THE HIGH TERRAIN. LOCALLY HIGHER AMOUNTS ARE LIKELY ALONG PEAKS AND WEST FACING SLOPES.*

The good thing about this is that I'm on an East facing slope!

The other good thing is the dogs are all safe.

The other good thing is that I kept the back door blocked last night.

The good thing is I can stay in today!

Funk

I know, I know. I haven't been posting. I'm so distracted recently. It will pass, I know that, but meanwhile I feel little control over my life.

I'm dealing with two divorces in the family, one on the East coast and the other on the West coast. Both situations are ugly and painful. I want to just gather both my girls up and hide them from what is passing as their lives at this moment, keeping them hidden and safe till the whole thing is over. I can't, of course, and I know that would be so dysfunctional, anyway. Knowledge does not substitute for wisdom; and it does not trump emotions. sigh.

It seems I'm trying to put out fires one place or another. Emotional fires. Crap! What is wrong with these men??? I don't kid myself that either of my girls is perfect, but neither deserves what they are being slapped with. "I don't love you, and I'm not sure I ever did." "I'm doing everything I can to help you." Broken promises. Flawed character exploding all over the walls. Wishy-washy mind changing on a regular basis. And outright passive-aggressive goading. I just don't get why it has to get nasty. Been there, done that, and we were able to part without major ugliness. But then we both had character and utilized it. I've advised my girls to take the high road, not stoop to those levels of hatefulness being shoved at them, and it has only caused further vulnerability that has been used against them. However, I want them both to feel good about who they are and how they conducted themselves when it is over. damn.

In the midst of all this, I'm struggling with financial needs. If I don't find a job quickly, I don't know what I will do. I have some left in my retirement account, and if I have to I will draw that out and eke by, pay off all bill possible, but that leaves me with nothing for emergencies. It wasn't supposed to come to this, but finding a job at 66 years of age is a challenge alone, then with this economy .... well ....

So I'm in a funk. I'm not immobilized, but I'm really sad about the whole situation. Forgive me if I don't blog as much as usual for a while. Could be a week, or a month, I don't know. I just know I have to get some things stabilized in my life. Say a prayer, OK?

Such a perfect Christmas!

Oh gosh, what a great day!

At noon I had the chicken noodle-vegetable soup on the stove, low heat, just simmering the flavors. Fresh rolls were baked and waiting. A pot of coffee was ready, so I poured a cup and sat down to read a while as I waited for my guests to arrive. I read a few pages while I sipped my coffee and around 12:30, the arrivals began. It was a small group just six of us, and by 1:00 we were chowing down on all kinds of nibbles, candy and cookies, dips and chips, a delicious humus, cheese balls and several scrumptious breads and crackers, and everything was excellent! We had some wine to go with the delicious snacks, and it became a meal, not just snacks.

Once we sated our initial hunger, we sat down to play some games. Trivial Pursuit was picked, a favorite of mine. I have two versions, The Genius edition and the Baby Boomer edition. We started with the Genius cards, and when some saw the word "genius" they panicked! LOL! I personally think it is the easier of the two. We played in three teams of two per team, and my partner, Zoë and I won that one. Rather easily, if I do say so! ahem!

Then we debated about a different game but several wanted to try the Baby Boomers version. I'm slightly pre-Baby Boomer, and I don't care for that one, personally. No, Zoë and I didn't win, but we were just one behind the winners. The winners who were just lucky at guessing, I might add!  LOL!

While we were playing games, Allan dropped by on his way home from work. He joined us in the eating, but just watched us and laughed at our antics rather than playing with us. He is very good at Trivial Pursuit, BTW. I remember that from long ago. Smart dude!

While we played the second round, we had the soup, and it was excellent, if I do say so. I made it with big chunky veggies, lots of herbs and big, fat egg noodles. I was planning to make homemade noodles, but yesterday I remembered how hard it is to roll out the very stiff dough, and I didn't want to do the work, to be honest. I bought the frozen kind. They're almost as good as homemade.  Anyway, the soup was yummy.

This is the best kind of celebration, in my opinion. It was very relaxing, lots of laughter and fun, no stress at all, no tradition to get wonky over. Several, if not all, of my guests feel as I do about the commercial aspects of the holiday, and it was nice to have no gifting, no drama, no emotional roller coasters; just good company and good food and happy times. Perfecto!

Around 6:30 everyone started getting ready to leave. I had the dishwasher loaded in just a few minutes and poured a glass of eggnog to sit down and enjoy with my book. Ahhhhhhhh. Nice day. Very nice day, indeed.

And how was your day?

When your day does not go as planned ...

.... you just have to suck it up and move on!  Today was that kind of a day. It wasn't a bad day, for the most part, just frustrating at times and made me have to rethink my plans. And journey rerouting! (remember that post from recently?)

Let me start by explaining something. When I went to Hawaii, Linda house sat for me. She still does not have a permanent home, so where she goes, her cage of finches goes. Occasionally she house sits where people don't want birds, so she usually leaves them at her studio and shop. When I returned she was preparing to go to visit her parents for a couple weeks, and I asked if she wanted to leave the finches here with me. She was delighted because she had not made arrangements for their care. So our two birdcages, mine with five finches and hers with two, sat side by side.

When Linda came back, she asked if she could just leave them here temporarily. Sure, that is fine with me. Linda's little babies have been here now over two months. They are right at home. The chatter and singing that goes on back and forth between the cages is fun to hear. Last night I was chuckling at Linda's two little guys who were in their nest, popping in and out and bobbing their heads up and down. They were very cute.

So this morning I woke, got a cup of coffee and went back to bed to cuddle with the pups for a while. While I was there, I decided that I needed to clean both birdcages. They really needed it. When I got up, I went about my regular routine, raising blinds, opening dog doors and uncovering the birdcages. When I pulled off the covers, I chatted with them as I always do, and then I noticed that I could see only one of Linda's little birds. Oh no, there on the bottom of the cage was the little female! I felt awful! I know I did nothing wrong, but I just hate that she died "on my watch."

I called Linda and gave her the bad news. She was sorta OK. I mean, with little birds like these, you don't expect them to last forever. Unfortunately, her birds were from the same place as my first four, a local woman who we later discovered was not careful with her birds in the breeding process and allowed lots of inbreeding, making them less than hardy. I suspect that this little bird lady was just weak because of that.  Nevertheless, I felt so bad.

Finches are very social birds, and it is not unusual for one to die when it's mate dies,  grieving to death in just a few short days. That happened to one set of mine before and it did with one of her earlier pairs, too. So Linda and I discussed what to do. She could probably get hold of the woman and get another one, but she was hesitant because of our experience with their fragility. We decided to try putting her little male in with my flock. They are used to each other being next door neighbors, so it hopefully wouldn't be a terrible shock, and it might give her little boy the company he needs as a social creature to keep him alive. Then, Linda would decide later whether to take him back or simply start over again with new birds when she has a permanent home again. And she decided that if he did OK with my birds, she would just leave him with me.

A few minutes later I moved him into my cage and watched them all for a while. It seemed to be going very well. No one was being aggressive, so I knew it was fine to leave them all together. I decided to put the little nest from Linda's cage into mine, since the new boy was used to having it. I thought it might help him to not stress. I opened the cage door and put my hand in to hang it on the side and closed the door. And saw only five birds in the cage!!

Keeeeerap! Linda's bird was missing! I heard some scurrying behind me and turned around to see Sam and Max both nosing an area behind a huge woven Indian basket. I screamed at them to get away and flew across the room. Sure enough, there was a tiny frightened bird crouched at the baseboard behind the  basket. I reached to grab a throw to block one side to keep him where I could reach him from the other side. But when I turned back, he was gone!

I looked all over in the area, carefully moving furniture, but I couldn't find him. I looked out the window, and Lola was on the deck. When she saw me, she ducked her head, looking very guilty. Keeeerap again. The dog door was immediately beside where this whole drama was happening. But when I checked Lola, I could find no feathers or blood, so she either released the bird or swallowed it whole. I went down to the driveway to check, but I couldn't find him there either.

Back inside, I spent the next couple hours gently moving every piece of furniture in the living room, shining the flashlight under things in into crevasses, with absolutely no luck. I turned off everything in the house that makes noise and listened for several minutes, but heard nothing. Next I whistled to make my birds chirp and sing, hoping that I'd hear the lost bird calling back. Nothing. I finally decided to call Linda and let her know what had happened, convinced at this time that Lola was the culprit. I had a lump in my throat as I went to the phone, feeling like the worse birdie-momma in the whole wide world. And about two steps from the phone, I was startled by a bird flying through the living room and landing on the dining room table! It only took a moment to net him and get him in the cage. What a relief!!

After all this, I got back to my planned routine. I was making the chicken soup today and a batch of toffee. While I was doing this I was also cleaning in the kitchen, and I had a cabinet door under the sink open while I retrieved the things I needed. It stood open for several minutes, then I pushed it shut. I went about my business for a while,  then opened it again to get a new roll of paper towels, and when I looked inside ....

Jazmyn has been nervous most of the day because of the snow sliding off the roof. She absolutely hates that and sticks close to me. Apparently, she decided today that the dark recesses under the sink was better than being out where she could listen to the sliding snow!   Funny girl! She was on top of my cleaning rags, actually a pretty cushy seat! And she'd been under there for probably a helf hour! 


My final disruption today came from Max. He chewed up some sort of thing, possibly a berry (?) on the carpet.  It didn't appear that he swallowed it, because there were little pieces of it on the carpet, and there was a horrible purple stain.  I watched him for a while to be sure he was OK. I can't figure out what in the world he found! Anyway, when I was sure he was being his normal self, I put a stain remover on the spot on the carpet, let it sit a while and then got out the carpet cleaner and cleaned the living room floor. What else could I do? Gah.

Will I be ready for guests tomorrow? Sure! The house may not be as tidy as I'd hoped, but it's not anything I'm concerned about. For now .... I'm gonna have a glass of wine and forget about what didn't get done today! Sounds like a good plan to me!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

Busy, busy

After staying up till wee hours to catch the lunar eclipse, I was exhausted. It was nearly 3 AM when I gave up and went to bed, but while I was tired, I was also jacked up by hanging in the cold off and on for several hours and the general excitement. It took me a while to fall asleep, and the last time I saw the clock was around 3:45.

I woke around 7:30, believe it or not. But I couldn't roll over and sleep. I had to get up and get going. I was due for an oil change in Alamogordo, a drive of nearly 1.5 hours. So I tossed back some coffee, showered, fed the pups and myself and hit the road.

The oil was changed and while I waited, chatted with a woman from Ruidoso. She had her little dog with her, a rescue cutie named Abby. I also called my cousin to confirm lunch, but she had a couple appointments that negated us getting together. I was glad for her, though. A realtor needs every possible appointment to culminate  into a sale. I got lunch myself and set off  for the cemetery.

The attendant at the cemetery pulled out several loose-leaf notebooks containing old burial records. I was disappointed that the records were not computerized or in some way organized into more searchable formats. I suspect this is the rule of thumb, however. I doubt many officials see this, the records of the dead, as being nearly as important as the records of the living. You know, the living who pay taxes and other money to pay their salaries. Oh, well.

Two of the names on my list were simply nowhere to be found. I even went into my creative mode, looking at variations of the spelling, watching for dates that matched, etc. Robert, the man on duty, was wonderful in helping me in every way, including taking the same books and looking where I'd already looked. Then, when I decided there wasn't any likelihood that  I'd find those two graves, he got out a map and pointed out the sections I needed to look in and the approximate areas. The map was tiny and very difficult to read, so much of it was "by guess and by gosh." he had a couple larger maps on the wall, so working back and forth between those and the tiny one I was taking with me, I was able to reasonably locate the general areas to look.

I walked on full section without success, then realized I was in the wrong section! Duh. Robert came out in an ATV just about the time I realized that, and he confirmed I was one block off my target. He also walked a couple sections with me to find graves with last names that matched my two missing people, just in case they were family members and there was some sort of glitch in the record keeping. While doing this, he told me that a flood in the 1950s destroyed many of the records and when there is no headstone, that person, that grave and all information, is just lost. So sad. I wondered how many people were there without anyone knowing. One of the missing names on my list was buried there in 1930; he is quite possibly there, unmarked, unknown.  I guess I realized the importance of the grave markers more than ever during this exercise. As Robert said, if there is not a marker, paper records are minimally helpful, because fire or flood can take away every trace of that person in a matter of minutes. Sobering, isn't it? Newer records are being kept in a more organized fashion, but he says most of his requests for information involve the older ones, the disorganized ones. He laments not having a computer to help him with his job.

I took pictures of the grave markers that we had located, then over to a familiar corner of the cemetery for me where I photographed the markers of my husband's family. With that, my task at the cemetery was done, and I headed home. It was a little warm, around 70°, and my last hour or more had been spent in the sun. I was, unfortunately, wearing a black shirt which just soaked up the heat of the sun, and I was hot and dry. I guzzled a bottle of water, but I needed something else, so I stopped at Sonic for a drink, then headed home.

Last night I loaded the photos of the graves into the Find a Grave website, putting each in the memorial page for that individual.  I've already received thank you notes from three of the people who requested these photos. How cool! I didn't expect acknowledgment, and didn't need, it, but it feels good to know those folks have already seen the photos and it has helped them with their searches for information. I even heard from one of the people connected with a grave I couldn't find. She said she has talked to several family members who were at the graveside at the burial in 1970, but since no marker was ever placed, she realized that it would be a difficult task. She was hoping for at least some documentation of the death, but even that was not available. It really makes you wonder, doesn't it?

It was an interesting day. I've clearly gotten myself into quite a challenging volunteer job! It's OK. I'm happy to help others with these tasks. That's what life is all about, isn't it?

I was really tired last night. I got a good night's sleep, but I'm thinking I need a couple more good nights of sleep to really feel myself again.

OK, I'm off to slay another dragon.  Er, make that clean my house and begin preparation for having a few friends here on Christmas Day.   Dragon, housework .... you see the connection, don't you?

Later!

Eclipse

Pretty cool. Wish my camera were more powerful, but still pretty cool.

Remember you can click on the photos to enlarge them.


Nearing the full eclipse......

I moved a bit, but still a cool picture.

Probably my fav shot. Just before the full eclipse.

Beginning to come out of the eclipse ....

And it's almost over ......

Yep, that's it for another four or five hundred years. sigh. Everything is so fleeting, isn't it? And I'm tired. It is nearly 3:00 AM, and I do have to get up tomorrow.

Night, youse guys!

What? Oh, yes, I know we'll have more eclipses before several hundred years, but not during the winter solstice! Pay attention!!    ;D

Winter Soltice, Lunar Eclipse, Full Moon, and a plain good time

I'm back just a while ago from a great lunch and communion of friendship. A group of women got together to celebrate the Winter Solstice. If you don't know the history of this seasonal mile marker, read a short story here, or google it and read as much as you want. I'll tell you a bit about our own observation.

We were a diverse group in all ways ranging from retirees older than myself to women in their 40s; clinical therapists and artists, nurses and massage therapists, a psychic and an animal trainer; one woman was Wicca, another followed Celtic and Cherokee spirituality, a retired Christian minister. One thing we had in common was our desire to honor the Solstice by supporting each other in releasing that which is holding us down or back in the past year, letting it die and cease to take refuge inside us, then to claim the new beginning and affirm our purpose for growth and rebirth in the new year. What a wonderful, refreshing and non-threatening couple of hours!

In the last few days, it became evident to me that I have a lot of bottled emotions that I'm needing to release and relinquish, and this was the perfect time and place for that. It's been a rough year. It still is! But I feel more focused and free, having the opportunity to "lay it on the table," so to speak. Today was not a "gut spilling," at all. But I wrote down the events and emotions that have taken an uncomfortable hold on me, a way of acknowledging them and then owning them before making a conscious decision to release the ones that are holding me down. What a fabulous feeling to turn them loose!

It was rather emotional for several of us. When you live alone there is a tendency to store up emotional stuff. It is very different from having someone significant in your life, a spouse or full time mate, someone who knows you so well that you almost don't have to say "whatever" out loud. When you're a single, you feel you don't want to burden others with your junk. It's silly, but it is how it goes. So having a circle of friends like this gives me a refuge to say and do what I must about what is weighing me down. So wonderful!

We had a discussion about the Lunar Eclipse taking place tonight. I'm staying up to see it. Are you?  It's not often that the winder solstice and the full moon happen together, and to happen with a lunar eclipse, also, is really rare. The combination of Lunar Eclipse and Winter solstice occurring together last happened in 1638. We won't see this again, folks, so get out there tonight! If you want to know the time in your area, check here.

After our ceremony we had a wonderful potluck and spent time talking and just having a good time together. Lawdy, what good food! I took a wild rice and vegetable casserole that was drop dead delicious! Something I'd never made before, so I just started throwing this and that and something else in the bowl, and it turned out amazingly good! The trouble is .... I don't think I can replicate it, because I just went wild with spices and herbs! Oh, well!

Finally, a bit ago I looked out and saw a gorgeous sunset in the Southeast. Yes, I said sunSET in the southEAST. It is a refracted sunset, but still breathtaking. Look at this ....

Mmmmmm. A near perfect day.  :)

Monday musings ....

Disappointment, without anger, is the mark of an old soul.

Not being disappointed is the mark of a really old soul.

And trusting life so thoroughly that every step on its path is valued more than where it was supposed to take you, is the mark of eternal youth.

~ Mike Dooley

~~~~

I've become pretty good about the first line.

I'm certainly not at the level of the second line.

But I usually do pretty well with that last one. Sometimes it takes me a while to remember that where I planned to go and where I am actually going are different and it might be OK. But I usually do remember it. Eventually.

Last night I read this in a book: "My mom ... once told me you never knew when life would deal you an unplanned twist of fate. Enjoy things while you can, she said, because you just never knew."

I think that is more or less how I deal with the changes of plans in my journey. Not that it is always easy, but I try to make the best of situations, to enjoy the moment as well as I can, to mentally "photograph" the memories to enjoy later. That doesn't necessarily mean I deal well with the hiccups while the hiccups are convulsing my life. But it gives me something to hang onto during the hard times.

How do you do in dealing with the variances in your plans and the reality of the bigger picture?

Progress

We've been working on a new set of control commands in our house. OK, to be honest, I'm working on it, and the dogs are, well, being dogs. I think they've tried hard to ignore me, but they just can't,  because I'm devilishly persistent! And in spite of their resistance, I believe they are getting it, by jove!

The new command?  "NO BARK!"

They all have such a bad habit of barking. It began with them barking at the deer. Then barking at the birds. Then barking at the leaves. Then barking at the wind. Then barking at apparently nothing. Over the months, as their other behaviors improved, it seems that their energies turned to that one category, and it was driving me up a wall. I don't mind a bit if they let me know "Stranger on premises!" That's a good thing. But when they are barking for no recognizable purpose, it is time to retrain.

There are several problems: (1) when the barking is frequent and doesn't stop, I can't tell when there is a true alarm; (2) once they start barking, it seems they continue just to be doing something, not knowing when to stop; (3) when one barks, the rest feel they have to join in, like a one-upsmanship free for all; (4) they are often barking at nothing that I can discern, so it just noise; (5) IT'S IRRITATING!

So a couple weeks ago, I began anticipating, as well as I could, when they would bark. If one dog was outside and barked, I knew at least some of the others would rush out to "help." As soon as they stirred, I began saying sternly, "NO BARK!" At first, they paid no attention, so I followed outside, ordered them in repeating "No bark," the whole way. I've become quicker to intervene and they've become more responsive, so that at this time if I say "no bark" as they go out the doggy door, they usually don't bark, but just turn around and come back in. When there is actually a deer or a roaming dog in the area, they do continue, so at least there s a reason. But if it is deer, I bring the dogs back in. If it is another dog, I let them bark; I want to know if there is a trespasser, two legged or four legged.

In the evening, I sometimes have to close the doggy door, because their barking seems worse and they pay less attention to my commands. I'm sure that is when the deer and other forest denizens are moving around out there, and they are stirred by those sounds. I still don't want them to bark without restraint, even if there are critters. I hope they begin to understand that deer are not something that needs barked at. The deer ignore them, anyway! C'mon, guys! Save the barking for the coyotes or the wild cats!

Anyway, I've noticed in the last few days that their body signals are already changing as they start toward the door. They jump up and begin running, but often, they slow down before the words "no bark" can get out of my mouth! They know I'm gonna tell them to hush, so they are responding to the training without my command! I'm psyched!!!!

Times like this, when I realize my work is showing results, are the best.

I also read some old entries about Sammy when I brought him home. He was the first to be rescued and the most emotionally damaged. Wow, what a challenge he was, but such an adorable little guy that he was worth every moment of the work.  I'm so glad I have him. The others, also, of course, but Sam .... a special place in my heart for his journey and for just what a special boy he really is.  :)

I'm a happy puppy momma!

Some friend this is.

I was looking for something in old posts in my blog and I stumbled across this entry.

Sooooooooo, CAROLINE. We need to talk. Obviously I'm very easy to forget.

sniff, sniff. sob. :'(

A nice snow and a stay-in day

It snowed last night! Yes, it certainly did! I got about six inches here at the house. No pictures. I left my camera in the car, and I'm not gonna traipse out there to get it. Listen, it is noon and I'm sill in my pjs. I mean, c'mon, what did you expect?

When I went to bed last night around 10:30, it was just beginning to snow, very lightly and very small flakes, but it was snowing. I woke to the snow thing morning, lots of it on the ground, and a fog with visibility of about 50 yards. It has snowed a little off and on this morning, but not much. Despite the fact that it is still below freezing and I can't see the sun, it appears to be melting a little.

I was suupposed to drive to Alamogordo today for an oil change, lunch with a cousin, and to photograph several grave markers. I rescheduled it for next week when the weather will be much more pleasant. I'm sure I could have made it, but I just don't see the sense in going out if I don't have to. My cousins says it was just raining down there, but I can't get there without going through the twists and turn of mountains. Not conducive to safe driving, so I didn't!

So why am I photographing grave markers? Well, I've volunteered with an organization called "Find a Grave." I signed up just a couple weeks ago and already have had five requests! As a volunteer, I will photograph the markers in areas near my home for people who live elsewhere. They will use these markers and the information on them to verify dates for genealogical searches. Since I actually kinda enjoy visiting cemeteries and reading the stones, wondering about the people and their stories, this will be fun for me. Also, while I'm there I will document the markers of my late husband and his family in the same cemetery.

I love days like this when I can just curl up under a lap blanket with my pups and watch the snow scene out the window.

Days past

Recently, some things have crossed my mind having to do with my memories of my life. And I've really mulled a few of these over, a couple have become topics of conversation with friends.

As I was preparing for the potluck last week, I was ironing my linen napkins. I had decided since we had to eat inside, I was going to dress the table, not to a formal level, but certainly to include table cloths and cloth napkins. As I was ironing, I recalled when I learned to iron as a small girl. Mother started me out with my dad's handkerchiefs. In those days, the early 1950s, men still carried handkerchiefs. This was before "permanent press," a term that might be lost on some of you even today! But that's another story, as many of my thoughts have ancillary tales to tell. Back to ironing....

I was remembering that in those days, we ironed our sheets and pillowcases, too. "Tea towels" or dishtowels were ironed. Everything was ironed. Our jeans were ironed, and oh how frustrating where those denim legs that twisted! Getting them to "iron down" was a nightmare, but so essential to our appearance. Anyway I remember how thrilled I was to iron Daddy's hankies and then later, the tea towels and pillowcases. I never learned to like ironing sheets, but Dad bought Mom a Mangle, an automatic presser for large flat items, and that made her life so much easier. Our clothing choices in the last few years has returned to many of the natural fabrics, so more of us are ironing than did in the '80s, but it is still nothing like those days when everything but our sweaters and underwear were ironed!  BTW, even Dad's boxer shorts were ironed. Jes' sayin'.

OK, here's another that flashed into my memory a few days ago ....
Nytol. Do you remember the medication by that name? It may still be on the market, I don't know. It is/was a sleep aid. There was a way people used it as a joke, by saying "Nytol," instead of "Night, all." Several times lately I've started to say "Nytol" when signing off the computer or to friends. I haven't, because I don't know that anyone would get the joke after all these years. Do you remember Nytol? Did you ever use that to say good night?

Next, dial phones. I know there are still a few out there, although they don't work on the technological systems in place. I suspect there are a bunch of people who have never used one IRL. Yet we still "dial" when we call people. I wonder why we haven't begun to say we "punch a number," or something similar. But no, we still dial. The other day I was listening to a child, about seven years old, talking to her grandmother, and she was playing with an old dial phone, a "Princess phone," do you remember those? Anyway, it had a rotary dial, and she was looking at it. She was amazed that the letters on the numbers matched in the same way they do on a touch tone phone! isn't it funny how our knowledge shifts?

We live in a time when there is a huge number of people who don't remember life without email. Isn't that amazing? The technology that we all rely on for our communication, research and entertainment, even though it is commonplace, and advancing at a dizzying pace, morphing every moment, it is still relatively new. Yet many among us can't actually remember living without. Thinking of my 40-something kids, they do remember when it wasn't so commonplace as it is now, but they've never been without it at school or work.

I'm thinking of a number of others .... drive-in theaters; soda shops; Friday night sock hops .... so many things that were part of my life are things that a lot of you have never experienced. I wish you had. I wish you knew about the fun and the drudgery, as well. Bad or good, it is all a part of our history. Those of you who are old enough to remember some of these things, chime in and tell about some of your memories that are lost on today younger folks. And if you're younger, tell about something that you recall from earlier days in contrast to life today. I think it is fascinating.

Wednesday wonderings

“Watch your thoughts, for they become words. 

Watch your words, for they become actions. 

Watch your actions, for they become habits. 

Watch your habits, for they become character. 

Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.”

~Some sources say "unknown author," others attribute this to Frank Outlaw

~~~~

Whether it is an unknown person or Frank Outlaw (who, from my research, is probably a fictional character, anyway), this is one of the wisest quotes I've ever heard. This is totally about me and my responsibility to my own stuff. 

Have you ever had one of those times when you've thought of something so often, so intensely, that it seems real? I have. Now, I must say, when it is a positive set of thoughts, this isn't a bad deal. If I begin to think better things about myself and subsequently begin believing those things, it is good for my self-image, and often moves me to the next step of behaving with that as my truth. It has been helpful to me many times in the past. It has aided me in overcoming my shyness and fear of public speaking. It has surrounded me with people I admire and who admire me. That is a great way to assure my destiny. 

But on the other hand, if I am entertaining negative thoughts about a situation or a person, including myself, I am building a very ugly reality for my life. I experienced something along this line when I was horribly maligned by a former boyfriend. After he was done with me, he continued on to similarly hurt several other people, and my thoughts were extremely dark where he was concerned. I justified these feeling with the fact that I was angry with him "for all of us." This progressed to my badmouthing him. I can't say it accelerated to actions, but the habit of hating him infiltrated my life, even after his death. Every time I talked about him or even thought of him, I was consumed with nasty, ugly emotions, and my body responded to it. I didn't realize the depth of this until later. It took me twenty years to finally let go of it all, and in those decades, I allowed a lot of my energies be sidetracked into anger rather than using it to enjoy the good things in life. What a sad loss for me! Additionally, I wonder what people around me thought of me; I doubt I looked very nice with a swill of hatred swirling in my guts.

When I finally realized how I was damaging myself, I worked on changing this pattern in myself. There are still some people for whom I have little use, but I don't hang onto the negative energies produced by my association with them. I simply distance myself and move on. I also work on specific use of energy to refocus to a optimistic, reinforcing direction when I catch myself falling into the old habit of letting things, events, people influence my path and my mood. I don't want that kind of destructive influence to take up residence.

As I said above, this quote is all about my self-responsibility. I need to be less concerned with other people and their "stuff" than I am with my own. Staying focused on myself helps me to be forgiving of others, because I realize, duh, I'm no better! I have my own pile of crap to dig out of! What's that adage about a splinter int he eye? Yes, I think it is the best thing I can do for myself AND for others, because if I'm being my own "best," I create a reality around me that attracts the same from others. Think about it .... if someone is crabby and dark, do you really like being around them? Most of us don't, other than in the "misery likes company" scenario. No, we usually gravitate to people who make us feel good. I want people around me to be ones who reflect back to me the high spirits, the good will, the happiness, and .... dare I say it? Yeah, why not .... the love I wish to feel. It's MY job to be sure I'm creating that atmosphere.

What are your thoughts or experiences?

Thoughts on Tuesday

When you plant lettuce, if it does not grow well, you don't blame the lettuce.  You look for reasons it is not doing well.  It may need fertilizer, or more water, or less sun. You never blame the lettuce. Yet if we have problems with our friends or family, we blame the other person. But if we know how to take care of them, they will grow well, like the lettuce.  Blaming has no positive effect at all, nor does trying to persuade using reason and argument. That is my experience. No blame, no reasoning, no argument, just understanding. If you understand, and you show that you understand, you can love, and the situation will change.     

~Thich Nhat Hanh, Vietnamese Zen Master

~~~~

Boy, isn't that the truth? So why is it we humans do this? Most of us need to have someone to blame when something goes wrong. We have so much trouble simply accepting that something, not necessarily someone, has gone wrong. And if it is something that is wrong, it might be changed by us changing the scenario (adding water or fertilizer or sunshine). If it is someone, it is already out of our ability to change it, because we can not change other people. Easy-peasy discharge of responsibility!

Sometimes I think it is just easier to blame others because it makes it possible for us to just throw our hands up and say, "Oh well, I can't do anything because it is his/her fault!"  Labeling it as a problem with something, an inanimate object, puts us in the position of having to accept responsibility to enable the changes (get busy with the watering can and the sack of fertilizer). Who the heck wants to do that???

Maybe I'm wrong, but I just think we are a bunch of scapegoaters. I'm not sure that is a real word, but I think you'll get the idea. We tend to push responsibility away from ourselves. It is hard to be responsible. It really is. When something goes wrong, it is uncomfortable, especially when the problem is something that might have occurred "on our watch." The first response is to look for who caused it, and certainly not ME!!! In reality, the solution is usually close to home, and it is going to be up to me to find the reason my lettuce is dying and to figure out how to keep it alive and turn around the trend, making it not just live, but thrive. As I said, it's a lot of work and none of us really, honestly want to be the "fixer." Well, unless we are simply fixing what someone else screwed up, because that makes us feel superior. No, we just want the blame to go far, far away, on the back of someone else.

I especially like the last two sentences of that quote:  "No blame, no reasoning, no argument, just understanding. If you understand, and you show that you understand, you can love, and the situation will change." How powerful the statement is, and how powerful we can be if we adopt that approach. But it takes work. The lettuce isn't going to be much help to us, and the humans in our lives will probably not cooperate with us. However, in the long run, I think it is worth the labor. I try hard to do this in my life, avoid blaming anyone, including myself, when things go wrong. It is often very tough to take this stand. It gets even tougher when I realize it is something in my own control, despite my best intentions, and that does happen. There are times when identifying the problem and deciding on a solution is more than I can face. Hopefully, the next day will be easier and I will be able to move forward.

It's just not easy, is it?

Not that I'm counting .....

.... but ....

Today I am 2/3 of a century old!

A friend pointed out to me recently, when  wished hm a Happy Birthday, that in a few months, he would be exactly 2/3 of a century old. So I started counting, and I figured out that TODAY IS MY AUSPICIOUS DAY!!!

Wooooo Hooooooooo!!

Barometric hijinks

I've mentioned that my fibromyalgia gets worse when the barometric pressure is unstable. Does this explain it?

Gah. No wonder I'm uncomfortable!

Settle down, already!!

Zzzzzzzzzzz

This has been a strange day. Nothing is wrong at all, but it has just been odd.

I didn't want to do anything (see previous post), so I didn't. Well, I did a few things, but nothing of significance. I did a load of whites so I could wash the napkins from last night and I folded away a few clothes that I washed yesterday and didn't have time to put away. Otherwise, I've had a very lazy day.

I've watched TV. I've read. I took a short nap. I've snuggled with the dogs. Uhhhhh. Yep, that's about it. Very lazy, extremely unproductive day.

And I've nibbled at this and that all day. Nothing has satisfied my hunger. Something sounds good, and I fix it, and then when I eat it, it just leaves me flat. Nothing tastes as good as usual, regardless of what I try. I'm not hungry now, just unsatisfied. meh.

Mid afternoon I realized I was hurting. Not terribly, but I was aching and I realized I have a moderate fibromyalgia attack going on. I took Tylenol, and I am feeling better. I'm not sure if there is a connection between that and my appetite, but it is certainly possible.

It's only a little after 9:00 and I'm as exhausted as if I'd labored all day long! Not feeling top notch will do that to ya. Guess I'll go to bed.  Night, all!

Pardon me ....

.... while I do nothing. Really.

I am a bit tired today, and my back is stiff. So I'm doin' nuttin' today.  Oh, I'll probably change my mind later on, and get into some project to task, but right now, I'm loving having my tush parked on my couch.

Last night was a potluck at my house. We had SO much fun! Originally it looked like I was going to have 17-18 people in my house for dinner. My house is small, so I usually refrain from suggesting dinners here in the cold months so we can spread out to the deck. But for whatever reason, I suggested one here in December.

So I was trying to figure out how to make room for everyone. I had enough tables, and with donations from friends, we had enough chairs. I was planning to move some of my smaller pieces of furniture from the living room out to the deck to make room to set everything up for the dinner. That was when I also decided to not put up a Christmas tree, because I needed the floor space. That was OK with me. I don't mind putting the tree up, and I love the lights every evening, but ..... I hate taking it down. Really, I hate that task. So anyway, I had an excuse.

Beginning on Tuesday people began calling to cancel, all for good reasons. One friend's mother passed away; another called, sounding just awful with a cold; a third has a table collapse on her foot, and was having trouble walking; another had a fibromyalgia flare up; etc. By Wednesday, the list was down to just eleven of us. I hate that we missed some people, but my job was simplified. I didn't have to move furniture out!

We were joined by two new couples, and what marvelous additions they are to our group! Everyone was having a great time, so great, in fact, that we didn't sit down to eat until more than an hour after our usual dinner time. We had a plethora of appetizers, so no one was going hungry, but it is still out of the ordinary. I'd fixed a ham and a baked spaghetti squash, we had herbed roasted potatoes, a Caesar salad, and there was a fabulous chipotle pasta soup. We ended with a delicious homemade lime cheesecake with chocolate ganache. OMG, everything was scrumptious! This morning, I'm having crackers, pimento cheese spread, chili cheese rolls, ham, and stuffed dates for breakfast!! It's good being me today!!

I had such a good time. Being the host was good, because I could drink wine without worrying about driving. I still had just three glasses, but I enjoyed the luxury. But the best part is that everyone else had a good time, too. Nothing pleases a host as much as knowing the guests have enjoyed themselves. And I know for sure they did. They all said so, but that's not how I measure it. People can say anything, sincere or not. The way I know is that everyone lingered and lingered. We usually break up around 8:30 or 9:00; last night no one left until after 10:30. And I hated to see it end!

Last night I loaded the dishwasher, and this morning I did the second load. Everything is back to spic and span. I have to deal with the few things I stuffed in the closet at the last minute (do you do that too?), but that's nothing. And this morning, the pups were very happy when I put a couple tablespoons of the ham juice on their food! Thought they'd died and gone to heaven, they did!

When I woke this morning, my back was hurting. It was actually hurting a little yesterday afternoon, and I couldn't stand for long at the shop. Standing still is the worst thing in the world for me. Anyway, it clearly wasn't because I moved furniture to the deck!  A friend suggested it was probably stress, and that makes sense. Anyway, I'm certainly stiff and creaky. That's a good reason to be indulgently lazy today, don't ya think? If not, don't tell me!  LOL! I'm enjoying my state of inertia, period!

OK, I need to get back to work. You know, the work of doing nothing!

Later!

Holidays .... Bah, Humbug!

Reading a blog this morning, I found the following:

The World, 20th December 1893

An Atrocious Institution.

Like all intelligent people, I greatly dislike Christmas.

It revolts me to see a whole nation refrain from music for weeks together in order that every man may rifle his neighbour's pockets under cover of a ghastly general pretence of festivity. it is really an atrocious institution, this Christmas. We must be gluttonous because it is Christmas. We must be insincerely generous; we must buy things that nobody wants, and give them to people we don't like; we must go to absurd entertainments that make even our little children satirical; we must writhe under venal officiousness from legions of freebooters, all because it is Christmas - that is, because the mass of the population, including the all-powerful middle-class tradesman, depends on a week of licence and brigandage, waste and intemperance, to clear off its outstanding liabilities at the end of the year.

As for me, I shall fly from it all tomorrow or next day, to some remote spot miles from a shop, where nothing worse can befall me than a serenade from a few peasants, or some equally harmless survival of medieval mummery, shyly offered, not advertised, moderate in its expectations, and soon over.

In town there is, for the moment, nothing for me or any honest man to do. 

                                     ~George Bernard Shaw

 I don't share his disdain for Christians (well, unless someone is foisting their ideas on me without my invitation), but I bulk of his statement does seem to strike at a place in me that has been struck with this many times before now. And frankly, that place is getting sore from the repeated strikes!

So here's what entered my mind .... 

First, what a surprise to me that this isn't a recent occurrence in our lives! I thought it was, based on my own life experiences. When I was a child I asked Santa for one thing. Well, OK, sometimes more, but usually just two or three in the style of "I really want _____, but if you can't bring me that, I would like _____ or _____." I'm pretty sure that was under the advice of my mother who knew that three gifts were not feasible. I think she also wanted me to learn to think carefully about what I wanted most, a skill I've all but forgotten, I must admit. Anyway .... In addition to what Santa brought, there was usually another gift or two from my parents, gifts from siblings as finances allowed, and occasionally something from extended family. And I remember my childhood as being a happy one. I don't recall feeling deprived, ever. I was always happy with what I got, and if I didn't get what I asked for, I don't remember thinking about it, because I was delighted with what was under the tree.

Second, I said recently that Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday because it does not include any gift-giving practices. It has been reserved for remembrance, for acknowledging the gifts already received in our lives, for sharing what we have with loved ones by way of feasting and gathering for fellowship.  I really, really like that.

Christmas has become so commercialized and plastic, in my opinion. Children have lists that are l-o-n-g, and parents scramble to buy every gift on that list. It often feels to me like a competitive sport! And in the process of all this, the meaning of Christmas is often forgotten. Whether you are big-time Christian or not, this just seems so wrong, letting Christmas gifting practices over shadow the underlying and valid reason for the holiday .... the ultimate gift given to us, one that can not be duplicated! And we shouldn't try to do so. Christ's gift can not be represented with dolls or toy army tanks or iPods. 

As I watch TV, I am essentially repulsed by the onslaught of commercials that say "Buy this!  Buy that! If you don't have this, you're not up to standard!" This happens all year, of course, but it is sickeningly prominent at this time of the year. I'd love to see this turned around, brought back to a level that is more in line with our current economy and with the true "reason for the season." Alas .... It won't happen in my lifetime.

How do you feel about this holiday? Do you agree with Georgie and me? What kind of changes would you like to see in this (or another) holiday? 

And, BTW, I'm not really Scrooge. Or the Grinch. Just grouchy!!  LOL!

Stuff and such and grousing

Today was a strange day for me. Nothing wrong, just odd, because it seemed that it was a grey day, you know, like it was overcast. Truth is, it was sunny. At most there might have been some light cloudiness through the day. It has just seemed to me that it was one of those overcast kind of days. The temps were nice, too, in the upper 50s.

It might be because I was inside all day. Again, nothing wrong, just busy with inside tasks and took only a couple trips to the deck. Anyway, it was just peculiar that I have the feeling of drabness.

I'm in the process of dropping the last of my prescription medications out of my life, at least for a while. The only one I have taken on a regular basis in recent years is an anti-inflammatory for mild arthritis and fibromyalgia. I started taking tart cherry juice capsules about three weeks ago. It has anti-inflammatory properties. I also have had some numbness in my left big toe for a long time, but doctors tell me it isn't gout. I think they are right, because it doesn't seem to have all the signs of gout, and I eat minimal red meat and except for coffee, few of the other foods that cause gout. BTW, I don't usually drink a lot of coffee, either, just one or two cups a day. Anyway, I thought nothing ventured, nothing gained about the cherry capsules.

Within a few days, the feeling began returning to the toe. It still isn't 100%, but it's greatly improved. So I decided to give it a try for the arthritis/fibromyalgia stuff, too. I've titrated myself down off the medication I was taking, and stopped it late last week. So far, I'm thinking it might be OK. I won't know till there is some really cold weather and/or I have a fibro flare-up. We'll see.

I take several natural supplements, and I'm really happy with how well they have worked for me. To be honest, some of them work better than the prescription medications I used to take for the inconveniences in my health. The most recent, along with the cherry stuff, is the stomach enzyme that has given me a new lease on life. Seriously, there was a little adjustment period during which the effect was off and on, but now it seems to be working fabulously! I have not had an attack of acid reflux/gas buildup in the stomach in about 10 days! Woo hoooo!

One last thing .... a combination of gripe and venting. Why is is that people seem to think it is OK to say just about anything they want on F*cebook? There are two versions of this: (1) When they say things on their own page, and (2) When people take advantage of a post on your page and just go wild.  I'll briefly address the first one.

Your page is your page. You can say whatever you want. Honestly, I still think people should be somewhat aware of the rules of general etiquette. I'm no Emily Post, but if I'm in a place where other people can hear me or read me, I'm usually going to be polite in my choice of words. For one thing, my grandchildren and other youngsters read my page. I'm a liberated woman, but I hope I'm not (totally) crude for their sake. Now, if you write something that I don't like on your page, I don't have to read it. If you continue to post things I find offensive, I can "hide" you. If that isn't enough or I am greatly offended, I can de-friend you.

Now the other one. When I post something, it is my opinion or my choice of information, or my silliness or .... well, you get it. And if you're on the other end, you read it and you don't like it, what do you do? Do you just move on, much as I described above? Or do you start an argument or a debate in which you set out to teach me something, lecture me (and my other readers), make a point? Is it just me, or is this presumptuous and rude? You see, I feel my blog and my FB page is MINE. It is like an extension of my home. Would you sit in my living room and proceed to tell me how wrong I am? I certainly wouldn't! (Well, unless I think your endangering yourself or others.) If I disagree with someone to that extent, in real life or on the internet, I simply begin to distance myself from them. I don't see any reason to be at odds with anyone in this world, and chose to continue having them in my presence! If the fit of our relationship isn't good, isn't comforting, I question why I'm staying in it.

Don't get me wrong .... there are times when a spirited debate is fun, but that is usually best reserved for a time when both/all people agree to debate. Otherwise, it is just an argument, right? And I'm not into that. I dislike disparity. I think you and I can have different opinions, and if we agree to disagree with respect for each other's opinions, that is great. Our differences balance the world, and I see it as a healthy thing that there are differences. But when it comes to someone walking in my door (real or virtual) and beginning to tell me I'm wrong, it just infuriates me.

So, what's your opinion? Is the blog and/or FB open territory? It is a public forum of sorts. Is it OK to start a disagreeable discussion in someone else's space? What do you do when this happens, your space or someone else's? Has this happened to you, or do I attract all the people who are willing to butt heads just for the fun of it? Sigh, perhaps it is just me, because I can't remember seeing it elsewhere. Maybe I'm just a controversial kind of person, inviting this into my world. The problem is I have friends and family from many different opinions, and I'd love to go through life without the righties and the lefties or the pros and the cons or the ups and the downs coming to verbal blows in my living room? And I'll leave it to your imagination where it starts, but it drives me crazy.

OK, I'm done.  And I feel much better, thank you very much!!

Must see video

Please watch this and really listen to what he says. It stunned me. I know this, but it is too painful to really listen. This makes me listen, and I hope it does you, too.

This will chill you.

 But stick it out and think about it. Think about it.







CONTACT YOUR SENATORS AND REPRESENTATIVES!!! PLEASE DON'T ASSUME THEY KNOW WHAT YOU WANT! I'M SURE MANY DON'T KNOW AND MANY DON'T CARE!!

Heavy duty stuff in my life

This has been a brutal few days. I'm dealing with some "stuff" in my life and my stress is high. I'm really feeling overwhelmed and struggling to stave off depression. I'll be OK. It's just gonna take a while to work things out.

I've determined that my financial situation is disastrous. No, I'm not kidding, that is a fact. Since my choices are limited .....I can struggle along for a while yet, then wind up needing to find a way to supplement my income when I'm 70, vs my current 66 ....  I decided I should go to work now while I still can without as much difficulty. So I'm off to find answers to many question in the next few days. It may include finding a job in an art gallery or similar business, applying for my license to practice Clinical Social Work in NM, or it could go so far as to make me consider moving out of my beloved home to find a job elsewhere. I sincerely pray it is not the latter. But I can't continue to drain what is left of my retirement funds now. :'(

Secondly, I'm worried about family members who are struggling with their own lives. It is so hard to watch people I love floundering and in pain, without being able to make everything right again in their lives. This is weighing heavily on me. I know I shouldn't be so concerned about others business, but I can't help it. I hurt when those I love hurt.

So .... I may be somewhat absent for the next week or even more. Sometimes there are things in life that take precedence over even the blog and Facebook.  :)  Till next time, whenever that is.

The right kind of church

This touched me. It seems so simple, doesn't it?

~~~~

The right kind of church
by Rev Shuna


Here is a step-by-step plan for how to get more young people into the church:

1.  Be genuine.  Do not under any circumstances try to be trendy or hip, if you are not already intrinsically trendy or hip.  If you are a 90-year-old woman who enjoys crocheting and listens to Beethoven, by God be proud of it.

2.  Stop pretending you have a rock band.

3.  Stop arguing about whether gay people are okay, fully human, or whatever else.  Seriously.  Stop it.

4.  Stop arguing about whether women are okay, fully human, or are capable of being in a position of leadership.

5.  Stop looking for the “objective truth” in Scripture.

6.  Start looking for the beautiful truth in Scripture.

7.  Actually read the Scriptures.  If you are Episcopalian, go buy a Bible and read it.  Start in Genesis, it’s pretty cool.  You can skip some of the other boring parts in the Bible.  Remember though that almost every book of the Bible has some really funky stuff in it.  Remember to keep #5 and #6 in mind though.  If you are evangelical, you may need to stop reading the Bible for about 10 years.  Don’t worry:  during those ten years you can work on putting these other steps into practice.

8.  Start worrying about extreme poverty, violence against women, racism, consumerism, and the rate at which children are dying worldwide of preventable, treatable diseases.  Put all the energy you formerly spent worrying about the legit-ness of gay people into figuring out ways to do some good in these areas.

9.  Do not shy away from lighting candles, silence, incense, laughter, reallygood food, and extraordinary music.  By “extraordinary music” I mean genuine music.  Soulful music.  Well-written, well-composed music.  Original music.  Four-part harmony music.  Funky retro organ music.  Hymns.  Taize chants.  Bluegrass.  Steel guitar.  Humming.  Gospel.  We are the church; we have a uber-rich history of amazing music.  Remember this.

10.  Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

11.  Learn how to sit with people who are dying.

12.  Feast as much as possible.  Cardboard communion wafers are a feast in symbol only.  Humans can not live on symbols alone.  Remember this.

13.  Notice visitors, smile genuinely at them, include them in conversations, but do not overwhelm them.

14.  Be vulnerable.

15.  Stop worrying about getting young people into the church.  Stop worrying about marketing strategies.  Take a deep breath.  If there is a God, that God isn’t going to die even if there are no more Christians at all.

16.  Figure out who is suffering in your community.  Go be with them.

17.  Remind yourself that you don’t have to take God to anyone.  God is already with everyone.  So, rather than taking the approach that you need to take the truth out to people who need it, adopt the approach that you need to go find the truth that others have and you are missing.  Go be evangelized.

18.  Put some time and care and energy into creating a beautiful space for worship and being-together.  But shy away from building campaigns, parking lot expansions, and what-have-you.

19.  Make some part of the church building accessible for people to pray in 24/7.  Put some blankets there too, in case someone has nowhere else to go for the night.

20.  Listen to God (to Wisdom, to Love) more than you speak your opinions.
This is a fool-proof plan.  If you do it, I guarantee that you will attract young people to your church.  And lots of other kinds of people too.  The end.

Thinking again

All men and women are born, live suffer and die; what distinguishes us one from another is our dreams, whether they be dreams about worldly or unworldly things, and what we do to make them come about... We do not choose to be born. We do not choose our parents. We do not choose our historical epoch, the country of our birth, or the immediate circumstances of our upbringing. We do not, most of us, choose to die; nor do we choose the time and conditions of our death. But within this realm of choicelessness, we do choose how we live.      

~Joseph Epstein    

~~~~

I'm thinking again. "Uh-oh," the voices say, "There she goes thinking again!"

This quote fascinates me. So little that is my life actually is in my control, but the biggest, most important factor is mine to hold to use, to misuse, to throw away. That is the choice I make each moment, the choice of "how."

I've spent the last several years trying to make my life as significant as possible. When I say that, I don't mean I'm trying to be important, be noticed, make a big splash. No, what that means to me is that I'm trying to find the legacy (as I talked about in another recent post) I'm to leave and then to live it. I don't think a legacy can be left if one doesn't live up to what the legacy is all about. Otherwise, what we leave is just a shell, something with no substance.

I don't want to live without substance. That's not to say I want to live with so much serious matter that life is a burden. I want to have joy in my life, and I want my children to "inherit" the ability to soar. While I'm diving through the clouds, I hope I can fill myself and those around me with real stuff: thoughtfulness; love; loyalty; kindness; wisdom; flexibility; happiness; understanding; compassion; peace.

I sometimes worry about whether I'm getting it done. I mean, just look at that list! Whew! But I am trying. I try very hard to let my life be what I hope my children will learn. I hope they already have. I hope they can overlook the shortcomings, the mistakes, the times of weakness. If I could, I'd simply erase everything from their lives that causes pain. I'd give them all possible to make their lives easy. I can't. I hope my legacy is enough to carry them through the rest of their lives. I hope I've given them choices.

~~~~

There are only two lasting bequests we can hope to leave our children.  One of these is roots, the other, wings.    

~Hodding Carter, Jr.

~~~~

Quiet day

I guess the recent cold snap is finally catching up with me. Or perhaps it is the barometric pressure changes as it it warming again. Whatever, my knees are very achy today. They just feel cold and creaky. Sounds like a good day to stay in, doesn't it? And I probably will, for the most part. I'll keep moving to avoid allowing the joints to stiffen up, but I'm not going to push it too hard. Just don't feel like it, so there!

Jazi has been trembling most of the morning. I'm not sure what to make of it. I can't figure out is something scared her or if she might be in pain. She has been a little jumpy for a few days, so I suspect it it the former. When it snowed she was uneasy, and I'm supposing she remembers last winter with the snow sliding off the roof with loud "clunks." She really hated that, and was nervous a lot of the time. And she has also developed a dislike for my cell phone telling me I have a text message. She doesn't seem to have a problem with the tone when I get a phone call. I've changed the tone, trying all kind of different sound or tunes, but it doesn't seem to matter. I wonder if it is because it has been happening with more frequency lately. Oh well. We'll get through it.

And as I wrote that, she quit shaking and is snuggled down beside me. Go figure.

I'm babysitting with Linda's birds while she visits her parents in Florida. She has two Zebra finches. Mine are Society and Spice finches, and all three breeds have their own "song." It is so nice to hear them when they all get wound up. The two cages are side by side, and they seem to thrive on the company. Right now all several birds are chirping and singing, and it is such a happy clamor. Actually, it isn't a clamor, as they don't get loud at all, but it is a cheerful compilation of sound, nonetheless.

I'm kinda tired today. Not sure what that is from, as I'm sleeping well and not doing any physical labor to speak of. I'm thinking a nap is likely to occur today! In fact, would you excuse me please? Thank you.